Dr Akilah Vazquez, M.A., Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist

Dr Akilah Vazquez, M.A., Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist (MFC # 45594), providing counseling, consultation and training. I also have a certificate in conflict resolution.

I am Akilah Vazquez a Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist through the Board of Behavioral Sciences in California. My private practice serves adolescents, young adults, and families, providing therapy to clients diagnosed with a variety of presenting problems including: anxiety, depression, substance abuse issues, family conflict, peer discord, and grief/loss. I also provide and facilitate Employe

e Assistance Supportive (EAP) Services, group meetings, crisis prevention and emergency response. Therapy is a journey of self awareness and self acceptance. It is an excellent opportunity to enhance the areas in your life where you need support and encouragement. It can also be a painful and difficult process as you experience change and growth. Whether you are looking for short term or long term therapy, I will provide a safe and supportive environment for you to be present in your process of understanding and reaching your goals. I use variety of theoretical approaches based on the needs of the client. I don't just listen without commenting but believe in talk therapy, being direct and compassionate. I look forward to working collaboratively to help you reach your full potential in your relationships, life and work. Call now to begin your journey! To schedule an appointment or discuss services, please contact me at 510-877-0614.

Let’s Talk About It: Competition or Inclusion?When our children marry, we don’t lose our place—we adjust our role.A moth...
08/20/2026

Let’s Talk About It: Competition or Inclusion?

When our children marry, we don’t lose our place—we adjust our role.

A mother is still a mother. A sister is still a sister. And a wife is a wife. Different relationships, different roles. There doesn’t have to be competition.

I also recognize that sometimes family boundaries have been unhealthy long before a spouse enters the picture. A son should never be expected to function as his mother’s partner, emotional companion, or “man of the house.” When those roles become blurred, a new relationship can feel threatening rather than welcomed.

But healthy love makes room.

My hope for my sons is simple: that they choose partners who value family and that we embrace one another’s traditions, create new ones, support each other, and eventually—if we’re blessed with grandchildren—understand that we’re one expanding family, not opposing teams.

She isn’t replacing me. I’m not competing with her.

Different roles. Same goal. Family.

How have you seen competition—or inclusion—show up in in-law relationships?
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RelationshipBoundaries

LET’S TALK ABOUT IT: The Right to ChooseOne of the hardest truths in this work is accepting that we cannot make someone ...
08/17/2026

LET’S TALK ABOUT IT: The Right to Choose

One of the hardest truths in this work is accepting that we cannot make someone choose what we believe is best for them.

Whether someone returns to an unhealthy relationship, struggles with addiction, or expresses that they no longer want to live, our responsibility is to take it seriously, assess safety, ask the hard questions, intervene when necessary, and offer support.

But adults also have autonomy.

We can support.
We can safety plan.
We can offer resources and hope.
But we cannot control every outcome.

With the recent conversations surrounding Hayden Panettiere, I’m reminded how complicated mental health, addiction, trauma, and personal choice can be—and why we should be careful about making assumptions when we don’t have all the facts.

Compassion does not require control.
Support does not guarantee outcomes.
And respecting autonomy does not mean we stop caring.

How do we honor someone’s right to choose while still doing everything we can to help?

Let’s talk about it.

LET’S TALK ABOUT IT: ABSENT FATHERS & SONSWe talk a lot about how an absent father can impact a daughter—but what about ...
08/14/2026

LET’S TALK ABOUT IT: ABSENT FATHERS & SONS

We talk a lot about how an absent father can impact a daughter—but what about our sons?

I watched a man talk about the things he wished he had learned from his father: how to be a husband, how to love and cherish a woman, how to communicate, how to manage emotions, and even how to co-parent when a relationship doesn’t work out.

It reminded me that boys don’t just learn from what we tell them.

They learn from what they witness.

A father can model how a man loves, apologizes, handles conflict, expresses emotion, respects women, and remains an active father even when the relationship with the mother ends.

An absent father does not determine a boy’s destiny. Mothers, grandfathers, uncles, stepfathers, coaches and mentors raise and influence incredible young men every day.

But we shouldn’t minimize what can be lost when a father could have been present and chose not to be.

Sometimes the wound isn’t just:

“My father wasn’t there.”

It’s also:

“Nobody showed me how to do this.”

You can stop being her partner without ever stopping being their father.

Let’s talk about it. 💛

Let’s Talk About It: Safe Relationships ❤️My cousin and I have a running joke: “We listen and we don’t judge.” But under...
08/12/2026

Let’s Talk About It: Safe Relationships ❤️

My cousin and I have a running joke: “We listen and we don’t judge.”

But underneath the joke is something deeper.

Safe relationships give us room to tell the truth—the messy truth, the uncomfortable truth, even the truth that might hurt someone’s feelings—and still know there is room for conversation.

Because emotional safety isn’t the absence of hurt. It’s knowing the relationship can survive honesty.

Sometimes you express a feeling, set a boundary, or finally say what you’ve been holding in…and instead of repair, you get silence, defensiveness, or distance.

And then comes a different kind of grief.

You’re not only grieving the person. You’re grieving what you believed the relationship was.

Healthy relationships shouldn’t require you to abandon yourself to keep them.

There should be room for:

❤️ “I love you, and that hurt me.”
❤️ “I disagree with you, but I still love you.”
❤️ “I need some time, but I’m not abandoning you.”
❤️ “I can hear your truth without punishing you for telling it.”

Some relationships survive hard conversations.
Some reveal themselves through them.

We listen. We don’t judge. We tell the truth. And when feelings get hurt, we make room for repair. ❤️

Let’s Talk About It: You Buried It AliveI heard a person on a podcast say that his therapist said:“You may have buried t...
08/11/2026

Let’s Talk About It: You Buried It Alive

I heard a person on a podcast say that his therapist said:

“You may have buried the trauma, but you buried it alive.”

Whew. Because not talking about it isn’t the same as healing from it.

Sometimes trauma gets buried under careers, relationships, parenting, accomplishments, staying busy, and being “the strong one.”

But what we bury can still show up—in our triggers, trust issues, anxiety, people-pleasing, hyper-independence, emotional shutdown, and the relationship patterns we keep repeating.

Sometimes we can explain everything logically because feeling it has never felt safe.

Healing isn’t about digging up every painful memory. It’s about recognizing when the past is still showing up in the present.

You survived it. Now give yourself permission to heal from it. 💗

You buried it—but you don’t have to keep living from it.

08/10/2026

LET’S TALK ABOUT IT: Who Gets Access to Your Energy? ❤️

Lately, I’ve been thinking about healing and not just physically, but emotionally and mentally too.

And part of that means becoming more intentional about how I spend my time and who I spend it with.

This weekend reminded me what restoration can look like.

🎶 Closing my eyes at the Jill Scott concert and simply feeling the vibration of the music.

❤️ Spending hours talking with my best friend and getting emotional when he shared our kindergarten picture.

We were 5. Now we’re 50.

And somehow…we still smile the same. 🥹

💕 Spending Sunday with my mom and godmom, witnessing a friendship that has lasted almost 60 years and having meaningful conversations about relationships, values, and life.

It reminded me that I want more spaces where I can exhale.

More meaningful conversations.
More shared values.
More history.
More laughter.
More people I don’t have to perform for.

Healing isn’t only physical.

Our minds, hearts, and spirits need tending too.

Sometimes protecting your energy isn’t just about who you remove.

It’s about intentionally making more room for the people and experiences that restore you. ❤️

Let’s Talk About It: Being Needed vs. Being ChosenSometimes we mistake being needed for being loved.And this isn’t just ...
08/07/2026

Let’s Talk About It: Being Needed vs. Being Chosen

Sometimes we mistake being needed for being loved.

And this isn’t just about romantic relationships. It happens in friendships, families, and anywhere we become the helper, fixer, strong one, or person everyone depends on.

But what happens when you need someone?

Some relationships are built around what we provide our support, availability, advice, resources, emotional labor, and willingness to keep showing up.

And sometimes we don’t recognize the imbalance until we stop carrying the relationship.

There’s a difference between:

“I need what you do for me.”
and
“I value who you are.”

Healthy relationships require reciprocity. You shouldn’t have to constantly prove your value by being useful.

So here’s a question worth sitting with:

What would happen if you stopped carrying the relationship?

Would it still exist?

Being needed is not the same as being chosen. ❤️

— Dr. Akilah V. Roberts Vazquez, M.A., LMFT, D.MFT
Therapist | Mental Health Consultant | Relationship & Trauma Expert

Let’s Talk About It…I was recently asked:“Can a bitter baby mama create a deadbeat dad?”As both a therapist and a mom, I...
08/06/2026

Let’s Talk About It…

I was recently asked:

“Can a bitter baby mama create a deadbeat dad?”

As both a therapist and a mom, I don’t think the answer is that simple.

I’ve lived two very different co-parenting experiences.

With my oldest son’s father, I chose not to interfere with their relationship, despite my own hurt. I shared every milestone and encouraged their connection. Whether he showed up was his choice.

With my youngest son’s father, we chose something different.

We committed to our son, even though our commitment to each other had ended.

That decision changed everything.

As a therapist, I’ve seen parental alienation from mothers and fathers. It happens, and children suffer because of it.

But I also believe every parent is responsible for the choices they make.

❤️ The goal isn’t winning against your ex.

The goal is protecting your child.

Children deserve the freedom to love both parents without feeling like they have to choose.

What are your thoughts?

Let's talk about it…As a therapist, I spend my days helping people heal from trauma.As a mother, I’m constantly asking m...
08/03/2026

Let's talk about it…
As a therapist, I spend my days helping people heal from trauma.

As a mother, I’m constantly asking myself a different question:

How do I prepare my son for the realities of this world without taking away his ability to experience its beauty?

There isn’t a parenting manual for raising Black sons.

There are conversations.
There is vigilance.
There is prayer.
There is community.
And above all, there is love.

Our job isn’t to raise children who are afraid of the world.

Our job is to raise children who know who they are, understand their worth, and have the confidence to navigate the world with wisdom, courage, and compassion.

These are just a few of the principles that continue to guide me as both a therapist and a mom.

What would you add to the list?

Let’s Talk About It… “Spinning the Block.”As a therapist, a client recently asked me,“Why do I keep letting people come ...
07/30/2026

Let’s Talk About It… “Spinning the Block.”

As a therapist, a client recently asked me,

“Why do I keep letting people come back after they’ve disappointed me?”

Many conversations stop at self-worth.

And while self-worth absolutely matters, I don’t think it’s the whole story.

We also have to talk about the nervous system.

When someone repeatedly enters and exits your life showing interest, disappearing, then returning your body responds to that unpredictability. Over time, that cycle can dysregulate your nervous system.

Sometimes we think we’re missing the person.

Sometimes we’re grieving the hope of who we wanted them to become.

And sometimes we’re responding to a nervous system that has been conditioned to expect inconsistency.

As I reflected on our conversation, I realized I wasn’t just thinking about my client I was thinking about myself.

Several of my relationships included periods of breaking up and getting back together. Looking back, I don’t think I believed inconsistency was healthy. I think it had simply become familiar.

Interestingly, the phrase “spinning the block” didn’t originally come from dating. It meant literally coming back around the block often to retaliate after a conflict.

Today, we use it to describe someone who disappears and suddenly comes back into our lives.

Healing wasn’t just believing I deserved better.

It was teaching my mind and my body that consistency is safe.

Sometimes it’s not that your self worth is low.

Sometimes your nervous system has simply learned to expect inconsistency.

Self-worth helps us recognize what we deserve. A regulated nervous system helps us tolerate the consistency of healthy love.

Let’s Talk About It…

What has your nervous system learned about love… and what are you teaching it now?

Address

10901 MacArthur Boulevard , Ste 201
Oakland, CA
94605

Opening Hours

Monday 10am - 8pm
Tuesday 3:30pm - 7:45pm
Thursday 6pm - 8pm
Friday 9am - 8pm
Saturday 10am - 3pm
Sunday 1pm - 3pm

Telephone

+15108770614

Website

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