09/25/2026
As a trauma therapist for nearly 12 years.. I’m paying attention to more than the story you’re telling me.
I notice when your shoulders drop halfway through session.
When you stop fidgeting or picking at your nails.
When you take a deep breath without me prompting you.
When you stop rushing to fill every silence and let yourself think.
When you say, “Actually… I don’t think that was okay,” instead of immediately explaining someone else’s behavior.
When you catch yourself saying something harsh about yourself and correct it.
When you can feel sadness, anger, disappointment, or even joy without immediately trying to analyze it away.
When you start saying things like “both things can be true” instead of needing everything to be good/bad, right/wrong, safe/dangerous.
When you tell me you rested, did something completely unproductive, had fun, or said no and there’s a little less guilt attached to it.
But one of the biggest tells I see is this.
You become curious about yourself instead of critical of yourself.
“What is wrong with me?” Becomes “I wonder what part of me learned it needed to do this?”
Those moments might not feel like the big therapy breakthroughs you expected. You won’t technically FEEL your nervous system healing, because you may not really know what you’re looking for.
But sometimes healing looks less like “I’m healed!” and more like your body slowly realizing:
I don’t have to protect myself from everything anymore.
And as your therapist… I notice. 🤍
