PeaceRme

11/04/2023

Punishments create fear, not Respect

One of the most important things a child/teen wants from their parent is to be heard and understood, but they're often too afraid to be completely honest with their parent due to the numerous times they have not been heard or understood previously.

The most important thing you can do as a parent is to work on having an emotionally healthy connection with your child, where they feel unconditionally loved & accepted exactly as they authentically are.

09/04/2023

L.R.Knost - Little Hearts/Gentle Parenting Resources 💕

♡ If you would like to be kept in the loop on everything Synergetic Play Therapy or get resources to support you on your therapist or parent journey, join us here: https://linktr.ee/synergeticplaytherapy ♡

08/31/2023

08/31/2023

THIS. Every time you use power and control to push for obedience you sacrifice connection.

08/30/2023

Something parents don’t want to hear:
Your child’s behaviour is likely not what needs to change. It’s your ability to regulate your nervous system, in response to their behaviour, that needs to change.

Yes this includes aggression, rudeness, back talking, yelling, whining, crying, begging, being ungrateful, making messes and just about anything else you can think of (I know you’ll come up with more… the answer is likely “yes, that too.”)

This doesn’t mean we don’t intervene when our child is hurting someone else or themselves. But we intervene in a very different way. The priority is to prevent any further hurt and support the emotional needs of everyone involved. Even with the absolute “worst” behaviour we try to connect, instead of correct.

Learn how to do this with my latest book 👇

Finding Your Calm: A Responsive Parents Guide to Self-Regulation and Co-Regulation⁣⁣
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Link in bio or on the Website: responsiveparentinginspirations.com⁣⁣

08/30/2023

💥These are my household rules:
Be Kind
Be Safe
Clean Up After Yourself

🔥But these rules on their own won’t “make” kids follow them, and old school thinking is to punish them when they don’t adhere.

🙌I believe something entirely different and I have proven this to be true again and again as I work with clients and my own kids.

💜Kids who are in respectful relationships with their parents more readily follow the rules. 💜Why? Because they want to. 💜Why? Because they have a built in respect for us and what we are asking them to do. 💜Why? Connection and the tenets and tools we use each and everyday.

▶️If you are looking to build connection let me help you do that. Either through my group program or 1:1 coaching. Let’s get those household rules to mean something instead of just being words. DM me if you are ready to take the next step toward a connected relationship and leave the struggling behind.💜

08/29/2023

Unfortunately obedient children are targets for perpetrators. Understand that power and control works for compliance but destroys self esteem, discernment, and your relationship with them.

Teaching kids that obeying authority is the ultimate form of respect is dangerous and disempowering. Obviously, the opposite of this is not telling kids to run wild and disrespect people in power.

Our job is to educate kids about discernment, how to tune into and trust their instincts, and consistently remind them that they can always come to us about anything and we will believe them and have their back.

Kids need to know that if an adult is being inappropriate, creepy, sketchy, or disrespectful toward them, they can come to us and we will address the situation and remove them from harm’s way.

Kids who are taught to blindly obey all adults simply because they are adults and have more power than them fracture their ability to trust themselves and ask for help when necessary.

✨If you're ready and committed to rewriting these generational narratives that so many of us grew up with - but don’t want to pass on to our kids - please check out my Connected Kid Toolkit.

✅It’s an empowering bundle of therapist-backed parenting products that will equip you with the tools and confidence you desire to create a stronger bond with your child.

😍Head to KidToolkit.com or visit the link in my bio to learn more.

08/29/2023

FOOD FOR THOUGHT

CREDIT Teach Through Love

08/29/2023

Obedience has long been the goal of parenting, but I challenge this belief. Obedience can bring more harm than good. Our goal as a parent is to help our children grow and develop their own values, beliefs and convictions. We want them to grow to be independent adults who will make right decisions and not blindly follow. We therefore can’t enforce obedience, we have to develop cooperation.

More information on my blog

https://www.thetherapistparent.com/post/cooperation-not-obedience-as-a-goal-of-parenting

08/29/2023

FOOD FOR THOUGHT

CREDIT The Mom Psychologist