08/15/2026
💙 THIS IS WHAT ADVOCACY LOOKED LIKE FOR US THIS WEEK 💙
I have shared Axel’s happy first day of third grade pictures, but I also want to share what happened when that first school day ended because another parent may someday find themselves in the same position.
This is not a post attacking our school or the people caring for Axel. Quite the opposite. This is a story about what can happen when parents advocate, school staff listen, people work together, and everyone remembers that the child is the reason we are all sitting at the table in the first place.
Axel’s first morning of third grade started beautifully.
Coming home was another story.
This year Axel’s afternoon transportation schedule had changed. Instead of the short ride home he was accustomed to, his scheduled afternoon route was approximately 67 minutes.
For many children, 67 minutes on a school bus might simply be a long ride.
For Axel, it is different.
Long car rides are something we are still working on through ABA. He has disabilities and limitations that affect his ability to tolerate that amount of time sitting and riding. He has regulation needs, toileting needs, sensory needs and medical considerations, including the importance of maintaining his hydration.
I had already expressed concern about the new route, but because we did not yet know exactly how he would handle it, he rode the route on his first day.
Unfortunately, my concerns became reality.
During that ride, Axel became significantly distressed and could not regulate.
And this is where I want to stop and recognize two people.
His bus driver and bus monitor tried to help him. They saw that he was struggling. They recognized that this was more than an ordinary first day adjustment. According to the information I received afterward, they contacted transportation during the route and requested permission to bring Axel home because they could not get him settled.
They advocated for my son when I wasn’t physically there to do it myself.
I will never forget that.
They were the people sitting beside my child while he was struggling, and instead of dismissing what they were seeing, they tried to get him help.
When Axel finally arrived home, the effects of that ride were visible.
That was when Mama Bear went to work.
Not because I wanted a fight.
Because my child had just shown us very clearly that there was a gap in his current transportation plan, and now that I knew about that gap, I was not willing to send him back into the exact same situation and hope for a different result.
I contacted transportation.
I contacted his school.
I communicated with his Special Education Coordinator.
I communicated with his principal and vice principal.
I explained Axel’s history, his disabilities, his ABA work involving car rides, his previous transportation arrangement, his medical and hydration needs, and exactly what had happened on that bus.
I requested an immediate transportation change.
I also requested that his transportation needs be addressed through his IEP because I did not want this solved as a temporary favor. If transportation is necessary for Axel to safely access his education, then his needs should be appropriately considered and documented by his ARD committee.
And I was prepared to keep going.
If we could resolve it with the people closest to Axel, wonderful.
If we couldn’t, I was prepared to move through Special Education administration, district administration and, if necessary, the formal grievance process.
I was prepared to request an ARD meeting if that was what it took.
I was prepared to document everything.
I was prepared to preserve records relating to what happened.
And I was prepared to continue through every appropriate level available to me if Axel’s safety and disability related needs were not addressed.
Thankfully, that wasn’t where this story had to go.
People listened.
Axel’s principal and vice principal supported him. His Special Education Coordinator advocated for his needs. Transportation became involved. His bus driver and monitor had already spoken up for him from the bus.
And ultimately, the transportation problem was corrected so Axel would not continue spending that extended amount of time on the afternoon route.
THAT is what collaboration is supposed to look like.
I am incredibly grateful.
I also want other parents to understand something I have learned through advocating for Axel:
FOLLOW THE PROCESS.
Even when you are angry.
Even when you’re scared.
Even when every part of you wants to skip straight to the top.
Document what happened.
Put important concerns in writing.
Start with the appropriate person who has the ability to address the problem.
Give the school an opportunity to correct it.
Keep copies of your emails, responses, evaluations, IEP documents and anything else related to the concern.
If the issue isn’t resolved, move to the next appropriate level.
Why?
Because if you eventually have to file a formal grievance, go before the Board, pursue a special education dispute process, or take a complaint to an outside agency, the history matters.
You want to be able to show:
I identified the problem.
I notified the appropriate people.
I clearly explained what my child needed.
I asked for a solution.
I participated in the process.
I documented the responses.
And when the problem wasn’t resolved, I moved to the next appropriate step.
For my fellow MVISD parents, the district publishes a formal Student and Parent Grievance process under Board Policies FNG Legal and FNG Local. MVISD encourages parents to first discuss concerns with the appropriate teacher, principal or campus administrator and to raise concerns as soon as possible so they can hopefully be resolved at the lowest possible administrative level.
If that does not resolve the concern, MVISD provides a formal grievance process with Level One, Level Two and Level Three grievance and appeal forms.
Please read the CURRENT FNG Local policy before filing anything because deadlines and procedures matter. Do not rely solely on somebody else’s Facebook post, including mine, for a filing deadline. Policies can change.
And another very important distinction for special education parents: not every disagreement involving an IEP, FAPE, evaluation, placement, services or IDEA rights is handled only through the district’s ordinary grievance process. Special education has additional procedural safeguards and dispute resolution options. Learn those rights too.
One of the biggest lessons this experience reinforced for me is this:
When you discover a gap in your child’s IEP, don’t ignore it simply because nothing terrible happened before.
Fill the gap.
Our children grow.
Schedules change.
Teachers change.
Transportation changes.
Needs change.
Something that worked last year may not work this year.
An IEP should be a living plan built around the CHILD.
And please remember this:
A child in disability related distress is not simply being “difficult.”
When adults know a child’s documented disabilities and limitations, we should be looking for ways to support that child, regulate that child and prevent foreseeable distress whenever reasonably possible.
No child should have to repeatedly experience significant distress just so adults can prove something isn’t working.
Sometimes the child already told us.
Their behavior told us.
Their body told us.
Their tears told us.
Our responsibility is to listen.
Parents, do not be afraid to respectfully say, “This does not work for my child.”
You know your child.
You know what happens at home.
You know the therapies.
You know the triggers.
You know the progress that took months or years to achieve.
You know the difference between discomfort your child can work through and genuine dysregulation that has exceeded their abilities.
Do not allow someone else’s convenience to become the definition of what is appropriate for your child.
But also remember that advocacy doesn’t have to mean war.
Sometimes advocacy means finding the people willing to stand beside you.
And this week, Axel had those people.
His bus driver.
His bus monitor.
His principal.
His vice principal.
His Special Education Coordinator.
His ARD team.
And his Mama. 💙
I was absolutely prepared to go as far as necessary to protect him.
But I am incredibly grateful that the people around Axel listened and helped us solve the problem before we ever had to get there.
We have truly been blessed with an amazing ARD team, and I don’t take that for granted.
Advocate loudly when necessary.
Document carefully.
Know the procedures.
Know the timelines.
Know your child’s IEP.
Ask for an ARD when something needs to change.
Fill the gaps when you find them.
Be respectful, but be persistent.
And never let anyone convince you that advocating for your child’s safety and disability related needs is asking for too much.
We are their parents.
We know them in ways nobody else ever will.
And until they can fully advocate for themselves, we will keep teaching them, protecting them and making sure their voices are heard.
💙 Our children deserve nothing less. 💙
For MVISD families who want the actual district materials rather than relying on a summary, the district’s Student/Parent Formal Grievance page has the Level One, Level Two and Level Three forms and links to FNG (Legal/Local).
https://www.mvisd.com/apps/pages/index.jsp?uREC_ID=2615274&type=d&pREC_ID=2266551
