Dr. La Keita D. Carter

08/15/2026

💫1️⃣ THING YOU PROBABLY DIDN’T KNOW ABOUT YOURSELF: PART 61💫

Put Down the Measuring Tape

💔 You scroll through social media and suddenly your life doesn’t feel good enough.

💔 Someone announces a promotion, and you start questioning your career.

💔 A friend shares engagement photos, and now you’re wondering whether you’re falling behind.

You weren’t unhappy five minutes ago. Then you compared.

This is called self-comparison.

Self-comparison is the tendency to evaluate yourself by measuring your life against someone else’s. The problem is that comparisons are rarely fair.

You have all of the knowledge and context for your life. You’re comparing your life in totality, which includes wins and losses, ups and downs, to a 90-second video of a win.

That’s not fair.

Social Comparison Theory proposes that we naturally evaluate ourselves by comparing us to others. Research shows that comparisons can influence how we think and feel about ourselves.

One study found that negative social comparison on Facebook were associated with more severe depressive symptoms, in part because of rumination. People who compared themselves more negatively were more likely to dwell on those comparisons, which is associated with more depressive symptoms.

Comparison is the thief of joy. If you are going to compare yourself to other people, use them as inspiration, not as envy.

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BreakTheSilence
YouAreNotAlone
MentalWellness

08/14/2026

💫 1️⃣ THING YOU PROBABLY DIDN’T KNOW ABOUT YOURSELF: PART 61 💫

😫 You meet someone who genuinely likes you, and suddenly, you start pulling away.

😫 You have an idea you’d love to share, but you convince yourself it’s probably not good enough.

😫 You want to apply for the opportunity, but you decide they’ll never choose you anyway.

Tht’s called self-rejection.

Self-rejection happens when you dismiss, hide, criticize, or deny parts of yourself.

💔 It limits your relationships.
💔 It shrinks your opportunities.

And over time, it can make you believe that parts of you aren’t worthy of being seen.

Research on rejection sensitivity found that people who expect rejection often become hyperaware of all the ways they can be rejected and may respond by withdrawing, becoming defensive, or avoiding vulnerability altogether.

In other words, when you expect rejection, you may begin acting as though it has already happened.

Here are some tips…

🥇Pay attention to your assumptions.

Notice how often you finish the story before it even begins.

“They probably don’t want me there.”

“They won’t like my idea.”

🥈Separate facts from judgment.

Self-rejection often turns experiences into identity.

There’s a difference between:

“I made a mistake.” and “I am a mistake.”

Learn to challenge the story you’re telling yourself.

🥉Speak to yourself the way you would speak to someone you love.

if you wouldn’t talk to your best friend like that, don’t talk to you like that.

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BreakTheSilence
YouAreNotAlone
MentalWellness

08/12/2026

💫ONE THING YOU PROBABLY DIDN'T KNOW ABOUT YOURSELF: PART 60💫

💔You're the Roadblock💔

😰 You say you want the relationship but when someone requires that you show up fully, you pull away.

😰 You say you want the promotion, but you keep putting off the application.

😰 You say you want to finish the degree, but suddenly everything else becomes more important.

YOU'RE SABOTAGING YOURSELF!!!

Self-sabotage happens when your own behaviors interfere with the goals YOU consciously say YOU want.

Research related to self-sabotage comes from related concepts such as self-handicapping, procrastination, avoidance, and fear of failure.

Many people create obstacles before a performance when they feel uncertain about their competence. If they fail they can attribute their failure to the obstacle or circumstance and not their performance.

If you purposely wait until the last minute to study for a test and you fail, you can always chalk the failure up to procrastination. However, it is harder for the psyche to accept that you really studied hard for an exam and you still failed it.

TIPS FOR SELF-SABOTAGE

🔥 Find the fear underneath the behavior.

Instead of asking, “Why do I keep doing this?” ask: “What am I afraid might happen if I actually succeed?” Sometimes the obstacle makes sense once you identify what it is protecting you from.

🔥 Catch the pattern earlier.
Identify your personal warning signs: procrastinating, picking fights, quitting early, overthinking, making excuses, or suddenly losing interest. The earlier you recognize the pattern, the easier it is to interrupt.

🔥 Make the next move ridiculously small.
Don't focus on accomplishing the entire goal. Send the email. Complete the application. Make the appointment. Have the conversation.

Self-sabotage thrives in avoidance; small action disrupts it.

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08/10/2026

💫ONE THING YOU PROBABLY DIDN'T KNOW ABOUT YOURSELF: PART 59💫

😩😩😩Self-Silencing😩😩😩

🤦🏽‍♀️ Have you ever bitten your tongue? Not literally, but figuratively.
🤦🏽‍♀️ You didn't tell your partner your feelings because you didn't want to start an argument?
🤦🏽‍♀️ You agreed to work late even though you were exhausted?
🤦🏽‍♀️ Someone crossed your boundary, and instead of speaking up, you told yourself, "It's not a big deal."

That's called self-silencing.

It's the pattern of suppressing your thoughts, feelings, needs, or opinions to keep the peace, avoid conflict, or protect a relationship. Sometimes we are even celebrated for being "easygoing" or being "low maintenance."

But over time, every conversation you don't have becomes a part of you that you don't express.

Eventually, your voice gets...
💔 quieter
💔 quieter
💔 quieter

—not because you have nothing to say, but because you've taught yourself that saying it isn't safe.

Research supports this. People who consistently suppressed their authentic thoughts and emotions to preserve relationships were significantly more likely to experience depressive symptoms.

Healthy relationships don't require you to disappear...

If the payment for this relationship is your voice, then you can't afford it.

✅ Follow for more mental health tips, education, and inspiration. If you have a mental health question, comment below or DM me. I am HER.

07/23/2026

People don’t have to be kind. They don’t have to consider you or even think about you. And when they do, it can’t be overlooked. Thank you for all the birthday and AKAversary blessings. I’m overwhelmed with your love.

07/01/2026

06/24/2026

💫1️⃣ THING YOU PROBABLY DIDN’T KNOW ABOUT YOURSELF: PART 57💫

💕Self-Sabotage Secrets💕

Self-sabotage is protecting yourself from something you’re afraid will happen if you succeed.

💚 You say you want the relationship...But when someone gets close, you pull away.

💚 You say you want the promotion...But you procrastinate on the application.

💚 You say you want to lose weight...But you keep making choices that move you further away from the goal.

Sometimes self-sabotage happens because success creates a new problem.

😩 If I get into a healthy relationship, I might get hurt.

😩 If I get the promotion, people might expect more from me.

😩 If I lose the weight, I’ll have to maintain it.

The behavior looks irrational until you understand the fear underneath it. Self-sabotage is often an attempt at self-protection...from another problem.

The problem is that the protection mechanism becomes more painful than the thing you’re protect against from the beginning.

The question isn’t, “Why do I keep getting in my own way?”

The better question is:

“What am I afraid will happen if this actually works?”

Because once you identify the fear, you can stop fighting yourself and start healing the part of you that’s trying to keep you safe.

✅ Follow for more mental health tips, education, and inspiration. If you have a mental health question, comment below or DM me. I am HER.

06/19/2026

✅ Follow for more mental health tips, education, and inspiration. If you have a mental health question, comment below or DM me. I am HER.

04/25/2026

✅ Follow for more mental health tips, education, and inspiration. If you have a mental health question, comment below or DM me. I am HER.

❤️💞❤️