Nicole Byrne, LMFT

10/05/2026

A topic that's been coming up a lot in my practice lately is irritation — particularly the kind that shows up when you're already stretched thin and one more person needs something from you.

When women talk about feeling this way, I don't think we always need to rush to figure out how to make the irritation go away.

Sometimes you're irritated because you genuinely have too much. There aren't enough hours, enough support, enough childcare, enough people sharing the load.

And sometimes there's more to get curious about.

What have you become used to carrying? What feels impossible to put down? What happens when someone else does it differently — or doesn't do it at all?

I wrote about this in my latest article, including something I think gets missed in conversations about burnout and over-functioning:

The goal isn't to stop caring.

It's to have more choice about where your care goes.

**When Everyone Starts to Irritate You**

Feeling irritated with everyone lately? It may be a sign you’re carrying too much. A therapist explores resentment, over-functioning, burnout, and what your irritation may be telling you.

09/24/2026

“If I don’t stay on top of everything, things actually won’t get done.”

I hear some version of this often from women who are exhausted from carrying so much.

They’ve been told to delegate more. Let people help. Stop trying to control everything.

But sometimes they *have* tried letting go — and things really did get missed. And they were still the ones dealing with the consequences.

After enough experiences like that, it makes sense that your mind learns to remember, anticipate, double-check, and stay five steps ahead.

So maybe the goal isn’t simply getting better at “letting go.”

Maybe it’s building a life that doesn’t require you to hold everything together all the time.

That’s what I’m talking about in this week’s video:

**Why You Feel Like Everything Will Fall Apart If You Stop**

Watch here ↓

You’ve been told to delegate more, let people help, and stop trying...

09/09/2026

“I know I’m controlling.”

I hear some version of this frequently from the moms I work with, usually with a lot of shame attached to it.

When I hear that, I get curious.

When the consequences of something going wrong consistently land on you, it makes sense that your mind attempts stay ahead of it.

If your child forgets their lunch, you’re the one who gets the phone call.
If daycare calls because someone’s sick, your schedule changes.
If bedtime falls apart, you’re the one carrying the exhaustion the next day.

After enough experiences like that, your mind naturally starts remembering, planning, double-checking, and thinking five steps ahead.

Maybe what you call control developed because you learned that if you didn’t stay on top of things, you’d be the one dealing with the fallout.

So before you call yourself controlling, ask yourself: How much responsibility have I learned to expect will fall on me?

09/08/2026

"I know I'm controlling."

I hear some version of that all the time from the moms I work with, usually with a lot of shame attached to it.

I actually see it a little differently.

When the consequences of something going wrong consistently land on you, it makes sense that your mind starts trying to stay ahead of it.

If your child forgets their lunch, you're the one who gets the call.

If bedtime falls apart, you're the one who's exhausted the next day.

If daycare calls because someone's sick, your schedule is the one that changes.

What looks like "controlling" from the outside often feels very different on the inside. It can be a mind that's trying to protect you from carrying even more.

I wrote more about this—and why so many moms end up feeling responsible for everything—in my newest blog:

Why Do I Feel Responsible for Everything as a Mom?"I know I'm controlling."

I hear some version of that all the time from the moms I work with, usually with a lot of shame attached to it.

I actually see it a little differently.

When the consequences of something going wrong consistently land on you, it makes sense that your mind starts trying to stay ahead of it.

If your child forgets their lunch, you're the one who gets the call.

If bedtime falls apart, you're the one who's exhausted the next day.

If daycare calls because someone's sick, your schedule is the one that changes.

What looks like "controlling" from the outside often feels very different on the inside. It can be a mind that's trying to protect you from carrying even more.

I wrote more about this—and why so many moms end up feeling responsible for everything—in my newest blog:

Why Do I Feel Responsible for Everything as a Mom? Read the full article here 👇

Do you feel responsible for everything as a mom? Learn why so many mothers carry the invisible mental load, how it impacts your relationship with yourself, and how healing begins by making room for you, too.

09/04/2026

One of the most unfair things we do to ourselves is judge old decisions with today’s version of ourselves.

“I should have known better.”
“I should have left sooner.”
“I should have seen it coming.”

But the person who made that decision wasn’t who you are today.

She made it with the information, the energy, and the capacity she had at the time.

I’ve noticed that many of the women I work with don’t just carry responsibility for everyone else—they also carry relentless responsibility for their past. They replay old decisions, convinced they should have known more than they did.

That’s an unfair comparison.

Maybe she doesn’t need more criticism.

Maybe she needs more compassion.

🤍
If this resonates, I’d love to hear from you:
What’s one decision you’ve started seeing differently with a little more distance?

08/25/2026

The question wasn't, "Did I make the right decision?"

It was:

"Am I judging that decision with today's version of myself instead of the person I was when I had to make it?"

That distinction became the heart of this week's essay.

What started as a reflection on my son beginning kindergarten became something much bigger - a piece about grief, values, hard seasons, and what we owe the person we used to be.

If you've ever found yourself second-guessing a decision you made during a difficult chapter of your life, I hope it resonates.

🤍 Read here

On making good enough decisions in hard seasons, and offering the person you were then a little more grace.

08/21/2026

I think there’s a difference between carrying too much...and living through a season that genuinely asks more of you.

Sometimes life changes in ways that simply require more.

More responsibility.
More planning.
More decisions.
More letting go.

The hard part isn’t always the increase in responsibility.
Sometimes it’s grieving the season that came before it.

The slower mornings.
The simpler rhythms.
The version of your life that quietly came to an end.

I wonder how often we expect ourselves to adapt without first acknowledging what we’ve lost.

As a therapist, I don’t think every difficult season is a sign that we’re doing something wrong.

Sometimes it’s a season that asks more of us.

The work isn’t pretending it feels the same.

It’s allowing our expectations of ourselves to change, too.

For me, that has looked like easier dinners.
A messier house.
A little less pressure to do it all.
And a little more grace while I find my footing in this new season.
🤍

If you’re in a season that’s asking more of you right now, I hope you’ll meet yourself with the same compassion you’d offer someone you love.

08/20/2026

Have you ever caught yourself saying one of these without giving it much thought?

“I don’t know.”
“I’m probably overreacting.”
“I just need to get through this week.”

These kinds of phrases often sound ordinary. But sometimes they point to something deeper.

Feeling responsible for everyone else.
Putting your own needs on the back burner.
Slowly losing the habit of checking in with yourself.

The goal isn’t to judge yourself for saying these things.

It’s to understand what they might be trying to tell you.

💛 Which one felt most familiar?
—
📍 Pasadena therapist serving women throughout California & Nevada
🌿 Helping women navigate people-pleasing, burnout, over-functioning, and learning to trust themselves again.

08/18/2026

It’s only Tuesday...and my capacity already feels different.

My son started kindergarten this week.

That has meant new routines, school supplies, meet and greets, volunteer sign-ups, helping him become more independent, and preparing him for a really big transition.

It’s pretty typical that when life changes, we usually update our calendars.
We rearrange our schedules.
We figure out the logistics.

We don’t always talk about how our capacity changes, too.

This week, that has looked like simpler dinners.

Less marketing.

A few skipped workouts.

A little more margin.

There’s a difference between pushing through my capacity...
and responding to it.

What’s one way you’ve responded to your capacity in this season of life? 🤍”Why do I feel like I have to?” 🤍

08/14/2026

Every decision doesn’t need a defense attorney.

Sometimes we learn to explain ourselves because it helps.

It smooths things over.
It reduces conflict.
It protects connection.

But over time, explaining can start serving a different purpose.

When you’ve spent years feeling unseen...
or like your perspective wasn’t fully considered...

it makes sense that you’d hope one more explanation might finally help someone understand.
And if they understand...maybe you’ll finally trust yourself, too.

Maybe the question isn’t...
“Can I explain this better?”

Maybe it’s...
“Why do I feel like I have to?” 🤍