12/15/2025
Live Out Loud
Posted on October 8, 2025 by jcponders
Happiness is a choice that I make for myself. Every. Single. Day. Not many of you know my story, but I have been through many struggles, challenges and traumatic experiences. There have absolutely been times that I’ve let those things overcome me, but overall, I won’t allow them to define me. I spent many years trying to dim my shine to fit in; doing what’s expected of me, rather than being authentic and truly me.
It was difficult to begin the process of choosing authenticity. Those around me had certain expectations of who I was and how I would behave. I have joked with my newer friends that they wouldn’t recognize me if we’d met earlier – before I began the hard work. The sad thing is – it’s absolutely true. I would keep my opinions to myself – except with a few select friends and family. I was afraid to speak up. I dressed up and attempted to play the part of the society wife. I walked on eggshells. I still wore the smile – but it was usually forced. I was sad and trying to hide my light beneath a bushel. In short – I wasn’t me at all.
Slowly but surely, I settled into myself. I chose to develop friendships and relationships with others who choose to do the same. I stepped back from others that I didn’t feel that connection to. I made a bucket list and began taking steps to at least try some of the things that I am passionate about. Did all of them stick? Hell no – but at least I gave them a shot. I began voicing my opinions about the things that are important to me. I set boundaries for myself and have worked incredibly hard at sticking to them. I say no to things I don’t want to do, and make no excuses for the things I do choose to do. I go out. I spend time with friends. I bought a camper and use that as my safe place, which allows me to step back when the day to day gets to be a bit too much. I live my life out loud – so much so that I have those words tattooed on my forearm as a reminder to myself and others.
Those who know me best now see the fiery, outspoken woman I’ve become. I have beautiful friendships with many different people – some from the old life – most from the new. I am fiercely protective of my circle. My kids understand that I have their back, regardless of the choices they make and the situations they are in. I talk to strangers. I laugh. I love. I have fun. I smile. I live out loud.
I have come to realize that the things I have experienced have given me the ability to help others through hard things. A while back, I became life coaching certified. For me, it was mostly a formality, as I’ve been the one people gravitate to when they are struggling. One of the most important things I did learn was how not to internalize the stories that others share with me. Very important for an empath like myself. My goal is to be able to help others navigate the tough times (Love, Loss and Healing) and guide them to becoming their most authentic selves. Whether it becomes a full fledged career or something I do to make myself happy and fulfilled remains to be seen, however it is something I need to do in keeping with being authentically me.
©️JSCH 2025
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