Sandra Clem Counseling Services

08/28/2026

08/27/2026

Want to know one of the simplest, most powerful tools in parenting?

👉 Catch your child being good.

Research from Yale psychologist Alan Kazdin shows that noticing and naming positive behavior — even tiny moments — shapes kids’ brains far more effectively than focusing on what they’re doing wrong.

Instead of: “Stop interrupting.”
Try: “I really like how you waited until I finished talking.”

Every time you name what’s going right, you strengthen the connection and increase the chances your child will do it again. 💛

08/23/2026

"John Gottman from the Gottman Institute has done extensive research regarding relationships and what makes them happy.

One of the more interesting findings is about the magic ratio. After examining couples and how they dealt with conflict, it seemed that happy couples for who love lasts show five positive interactions for each negative one.

[...]So, let’s say there is a conflict between a couple where one criticizes the other. Then, to resolve this conflict they can try positive interactions, which for example are showing empathy, apologizing, being affectionate, showing appreciation or interest."

Words and graphic by on Instagram.

08/23/2026

Setting a limit is often just the beginning.

We say, “It’s time to turn the screen off,” “We’re leaving now,” or “You can be angry, but I won’t let you hit” — and hope the limit will simply be accepted.

But children often need to move through the limit.

There might be pushback. Big feelings. Negotiating. Questions. Frustration.

Our job isn’t necessarily to make those feelings disappear. We can validate how hard it feels, stay curious about what’s going on, and hold the boundary at the same time.

Sometimes there’s room to problem-solve together. Sometimes there isn’t.

The goal isn’t instant compliance.

It’s helping children learn that limits and difficult feelings can be managed safely — with connection still intact.

Setting a limit is a process, not a moment.

More practical strategies for navigating boundaries, emotions and behaviour are in my book Guidance from The Therapist Parent. Link in bio.

08/20/2026

Be still, and know that I am God. Psalm 46:10

Stillness isn't doing nothing. It's letting God hold what you've been gripping.
Loosen your hands for one quiet breath. He's got it.

Save this for your next loud day.

Faith-based online therapy · faithfultherapytx.com

08/16/2026

08/16/2026

Study of the brain and child development are so fascinating…and helpful

A child who follows the first part of an instruction and then stops isn't necessarily ignoring you.
Sometimes the problem is holding the whole instruction in mind while carrying it out.

Working memory has to keep the goal active while the child:

→ remembers what they were asked to do
→ completes the current step
→ moves to the next step
→ keeps track of what comes after that

If the instruction is long, there are distractions, or the child is already using a lot of cognitive resources, that mental space can fill up.

So they might genuinely start doing what you asked… and then simply lose the thread.

It can look like “They listened to the first bit and ignored the rest.”

But the underlying problem may be very different.
Sometimes the most helpful response isn't “I already told you what to do.”

It's giving the working memory a little less to hold.