09/10/2026
Apparently publicly posting your husband requirements is how we’re finding men now, so let me try. 😂
LOOKING FOR A HUSBAND.
Must be s*xy. Obviously. Attraction matters.
Preferably tall because I’m 5’9” and sometimes I want to feel petite.
Must be emotionally intelligent and self-aware. If every woman you’ve ever dated was “crazy,” please keep scrolling. You are the common denominator, beloved.
Must have done some actual inner work. Therapy, meditation, spiritual practice, sitting alone in the forest questioning your entire existence… something.
Must have a relationship with the Divine that does not require me to believe exactly what you believe.
Must understand that spirituality is not just an aesthetic or talking about consciousness while being unable to communicate, apologize, regulate your nervous system, or wash a dish.
Must genuinely LIKE women and have healed your mommy wounds.
Not just desire women.
Not just sleep with women.
Not just want a woman to cook for you, comfort you, admire you and regulate your emotions.
Actually like us.
Must not be intimidated by a woman with a mission, a voice, a community, her own opinions, and a life she already loves.
I am not looking for a leader because I am not lost. I’ve humbled many who thought that it was their duty to make a woman submissive.
I am looking for a PARTNER.
You need your own purpose.
And respectfully, I am no longer accepting applications from the broke spiritual man archetype.
You know who you are.
Fourteen crystals.
Thirty-seven spiritual books.
Three malas.
A cacao subscription.
Can explain the Law of Attraction for six hours…
But cannot attract the rent.
No, beloved, this ain’t gone work.
At some point we have to get up from the meditation cushion and BUILD SOMETHING.
You have opened your third eye.
Wonderful.
Now open a brokerage account.
I love meditation. I’ve practiced for years. But if you’ve been meditating for 20 years and still cannot make a decision, create structure, generate resources, protect what you love or bring a vision into physical form…
NO MORE MEDITATION FOR YOU.
The assignment is EMBODIMENT.
I want a man deeply connected to his Divine Masculine: grounded, purposeful, disciplined, protective, generous, creative and capable of turning vision into form.
Build with me.
Build wealth.
Build land.
Build businesses.
Build systems.
Build community.
Build a food forest.
Build something our grandchildren can sit underneath.
Let’s build a TRIBE.
And yes, I want you to have money.
Not because money determines your worth, but because I am interested in what we can DO with resources.
I don’t want someone obsessed with accumulating wealth just to prove he is important.
I want someone who knows how to CREATE wealth, MULTIPLY wealth and put wealth in service to something larger than himself.
Community.
Land.
Mothers.
Children.
Food.
Healing.
Education.
Regeneration.
Beauty.
Freedom.
Give me the spiritual man who can pray over the land in the morning and negotiate the land deal in the afternoon.
THAT is s*xy.
Must be generous. With money, affection, time, attention, knowledge and love.
I like men who BUILD things.
Bonus points if you can:
fix things,
grow food,
build a house,
start a fire,
use tools,
plant a food forest,
fix a car,
or look at something broken and say, “I got it.”
Extremely s*xy.
Must love nature because there is a very real possibility that I will randomly say, “Let’s go live in the jungle.”
And I need you to at least consider it.
Must be adventurous.
Beach? Yes.
Mountains? Yes.
River? Yes.
Camping? Yes.
International travel? Yes.
Sleeping under the stars? Absolutely.
Luxury is beautiful too. I contain multitudes.
Must understand that I have spent years creating freedom in my life, so I am not interested in entering a relationship that feels like another institution I need to escape from.
Must understand community.
I don’t want the isolated nuclear-family fantasy where we disappear into a house and see everyone twice a year.
I want friends around.
Children around.
Elders around.
Food growing.
People laughing.
Women gathering.
Men building.
Music playing.
Someone always making tea.
Basically… a village.
Must respect my spiritual practices.
If you walk into the house and I have candles burning, incense going, cards on the table, somebody crying because we just had a breakthrough, and 11 women coming over for a ceremony…
Mind your business and help me move the chairs.
Must be affectionate.
I practice Ta**ra, we are not just having s*x but practicing high magic.
I like touching.
Kissing.
Cuddling.
Massages.
Long hugs.
Eye contact.
Sensuality.
I am not doing a roommate marriage.
I like girth and a man with rhythm, not just in and out.
And yes, s*xual compatibility matters.
A lot.
We are grown.
Must take care of your body.
You don’t need to look like a fitness model, but please move your body, eat reasonably well, brush your teeth, drink water and demonstrate some desire to remain alive. 😂
Must be able to communicate.
“I need some time to process this” is acceptable.
Disappearing for three days and returning with “hey stranger” is not.
Straight to jail. You have been eliminated!
Must understand that conflict does not mean the relationship is over.
We can disagree, repair, learn something and love each other even better afterward.
Must be honest.
I can work with truth.
I cannot build anything meaningful with deception.
Must be kind to people who cannot do anything for you.
Waiters.
Drivers.
Children.
Animals.
Old people.
Strangers.
I am watching.
Must have a sense of humor because I laugh a LOT and life is already weird enough.
Must be comfortable with freedom AND commitment.
I don’t want possession.
I want DEVOTION.
There’s a difference.
And while we’re discussing devotion…
You must be prepared to worship me as the living Goddess that I am.
Yes. Worship.
Regular offerings are expected.
Acceptable offerings include:
cacao,
money,
plane tickets,
beautiful trips,
delicious food,
flowers,
foot rubs,
massages,
acts of service,
and occasionally saying, “Baby, don’t worry about it. I already handled it.”
VERY sacred words.
Understand that the feminine body is a portal through which life itself enters this world.
As a woman, I am an embodiment of the Divine Feminine. Treat me accordingly.
Basically, I’m about as close to God as you’re going to get in human form, so ACT LIKE IT.
Approach the temple with reverence.
Bring offerings.
And take your shoes off at the door.
And before the men start hyperventilating in the comments, devotion is reciprocal.
I want to adore my man too.
I want to honor him, nourish him, encourage his purpose, celebrate his gifts, pour love into him and create a relationship where BOTH people feel deeply cherished.
I just refuse to pretend I don’t enjoy being adored.
I absolutely do.
Must understand that partnership, to me, is sacred.
Two whole people choosing each other again and again while becoming even more of who they came here to be.
BONUS POINTS:
You practice meditation.
You can dance.
You can cook.
You know something about permaculture.
You understand investing and building wealth.
You can teach me something.
You love learning.
You’ve questioned the systems we inherited instead of assuming this is simply “how life works.”
You’re interested in building something that will outlive us.
You can sit around a fire without needing your phone.
You give incredible massages.
You look good with your shirt off.
I said what I said.
And perhaps most importantly:
You must actually enjoy your own life.
I’m not looking for someone to rescue.
And I’m not looking to be rescued.
I already built a life I love.
So if partnership comes, it needs to make BOTH of our lives richer, freer, more loving, more expansive and more alive.
Otherwise…
I have a beach, a sanctuary, spiritual practice, community, purpose, a cat, a bunny and peace.
The competition is STIFF.
Applications are officially open. If you’d like an application send $1111 to my PayPal or cashapp.
https://www.paypal.me/shanika876
Cashapp: $ShanikaMalcolm
Please include references, birth date, spiritual résumé, attachment style, net worth, and proof that you know how to use a power drill.
Astrological chart and Cards of Destiny information appreciated but not required.
Finalists will be contacted.
Please allow 7–10 business days for the ancestors to review your application.
