06/01/2026
How well do your children know your final wishes?
We know talking to your children about your funeral isn’t something anyone wants to do. You don’t want to think about dying, let alone talk about it with your loved ones. And if the thought of pre-planning just isn’t for you, that’s ok too. We do suggest doing the following so arrangements will be easier for them.
On a piece of paper, write down the following:
• Social Security number
• Any bank accounts you have
• Life insurance, if you have it, and where the paperwork is
• Your wishes: cremation, viewing and burial, or viewing with cremation
• Your favorite color, or flowers you like
• Any favorite church songs. Do you want a Mass? If so, what church?
• If you already know what clothes you want to be laid out in, write that down.
• Have you ever been to a funeral and thought, “I’d like that at mine”? If so, write that down.
These simple things can make arrangements so much easier!
You may think your children already know all this, or that they can just do what they want and you don’t need to write anything down. But the second you lose someone you love, you can’t think straight, and a simple question like “What was your mom’s favorite flower?” or “What was your dad’s favorite color?” can be very hard to answer when you’ve just lost that person.
MOMS WITH SONS
I hope you have wonderful daughters-in-law! And if you aren’t on the best terms now, get on them before you pass away! That was a joke… kinda.
I’ve been doing this for 13 years now, and sons can walk into the office, plan their dad’s funeral, pick out a suit, and know his favorite sports team, colors, and so on. But ask a son about his mom, and he can tell you what she loved to cook for him, what she yelled at him for as a child, and that she loved her slippers! Lol. Ask about her favorite color? “I don’t think she had one.” What did she like to do? “Cook and clean for us and watch the grandkids.”
So for all the moms out there with only sons, PLEASE write down your wishes. Otherwise your last day out will be in those old slippers, with a basic prayer card, and the photo they bring for your hair and makeup will be from a day they surprised you, when you hadn’t even combed your hair. But since it’s the most recent picture, they’ll say, “Just make her look like this.” I’m not saying all sons, but the majority see their moms as just “Mom.” They don’t picture the woman who does her hair and makeup and enjoys things besides cooking and cleaning.
I don’t want any sons getting mad. This isn’t saying you aren’t great sons. I have a son and a daughter myself. Part of the reason sons are the way they are is that moms always see them as their little boy, and no matter how old they get, we still want to take care of them. Daughters become our best friends, and we share more with them than we do with our sons. That being said, the day either one of them has to say goodbye to their mom or dad isn’t easy, and this is one way of still being able to help them, even when we aren’t here.
