06/02/2026
I hear similar stories to this daily, but this was actually my story......
I want to tell you what not okay actually looked like before I tell you how I found my way out of it, because not okay doesn't always look the way people expect. It doesn't always look like falling apart. Sometimes it looks like a woman who gets up every morning and does everything that needs doing and then collapses the moment the doing stops.
Every Sunday was the same. I would wake at five or six in the morning after hours of tossing and turning on a mattress that felt like it was fighting me, my hips aching in the specific way of someone whose body is staging a quiet revolt. I would walk half crippled to the kitchen for coffee, holding the counter while it brewed, waiting for something to kick in. A few chores. Maybe a load of laundry. By ten I was back down for an hour or two, not restful sleep but the heavy unavoidable kind that takes you whether you want it or not. Then up again. A television show I couldn't follow. Another attempt at something productive. Then down again.
Sometimes the nap happened in the car, parked in a lot waiting for James to finish training, the hot sun coming through the windshield, too tired to move to the shade, just gone. A woman who ran emergency rooms and managed crises and held other people's worst moments together, asleep in a parking lot because her body had simply run out of caffeine and bad decisions.
Cabinet doors left open. Half packed lunches abandoned on the counter. Words that dissolved between my brain and my mouth before they finished forming. A fatigue that wasn't tiredness, it was something deeper and more total, like the pilot light had gone out and I was just running on residual heat.
The above is an excerpt from a book I am writing currently... sometimes we are not ok, and I was not. I wasn't taken seriously by my providers. So I set out to fix myself. This is how Eclipse was born. And I strive everyday to SEE and HEAR my patients so that they never feel the way I did.
Reach out today! 610-947-0730
www.eclipsetotalhealth.com
Marla Moran