03/26/2021
3.25.21
Just write
I wrote a memorial for a very good friend yesterday evening. She had a loved one pass away suddenly and she had asked me to help write something to show honor and to post on her social media.
I did not personally know the man, had never met him, and so I was unsure of how to go about writing something that would be heartfelt.
I have been spending time with this friend recently to help her through this difficult time. She plans to work with me for Grief Recovery but not until she is back from a short trip she is taking very soon. So I have been trying my best to console her in the meantime and to lend a shoulder for her to cry on.
I began by asking her to tell me some memories of him. As I sat listening I grabbed a notepad and began taking notes of the things she was telling me. Beautiful memories of good times and difficult times.
After our conversation I then sat down at my desk and laptop. I did my best to put myself into the mindset of her perspective. This wasn’t as hard as it sounds. I have been in love before, I know how that feels and I have also experienced loss ( very recently). My situation has not been to the extent of the situation she is going through now, but I definitely know loss. I see vastly unique experiences in my work with grief clients.
And I simply began to write. I wrote about the different memories she told me and filled in the blank spots as best I could with the emotions I have personally felt when I was in similar situations. It took me maybe an hour and when I had finished I looked up and re-read what I just wrote. It was heartfelt and actually quite beautiful. I had a trusted person read over it to help me look and edit for any grammar or spelling mistakes. He also told me it was beautiful. I told him that I had never met the man and he said “you would never have known that”.
When I was a very little girl, even before I could read or write, my mother would give me small notepads and a pen and I would just scribble line after line until I had filled the notebook with my “writing”. Even at such a young age I had the passion for writing. My brother has told me that when i was a toddler I would tell him wonderful, imaginary and epic stories of fantasy. So I also seem to have storytelling in my blood. Years later while spending time at my stepdad’s camp as a girl, I would be the go-to for telling all of the kids “ghost stories”. I had the innate ability to simply make up these stories on a moment's notice.
As the years of my life went on I continued to have this passion and the dream to be a writer. It has never had anything to do with making money. I simply wanted to be able to write things that touched people's hearts.
But the words had never just flowed. I‘ve been writing every day for many years now. Poetry and journaling, mostly just streams of consciousness. Nothing came out that I felt worthy of sharing with others or that anyone would be interested in reading. I use writing as a means of therapy. When I am going through hard times and my head is spinning with emotions, I dump all of the thoughts onto paper and always feel so much relief and a more quiet head from doing so.
The day of my recent breakup I had not meant to write all of the things that I have posted recently. I just sat down and began to write. It was after reading what I had written that I made the decision to share these publicly because I felt in my heart that they may have the potential to help others who are either going through similar situations or have in the past.
For the first time the words and stories just flowed. They flowed in the way that I have heard other writers speak about but hadn’t personally experienced. I found something passionate to write about. I have found the key to unlocking and unblocking writing for myself. The very moment that I realized this, I was filled with such an incredible joy. I had made a dream for myself come true!
So many people have reached out to me to tell me that my posts helped them. And others to reach out for my Grief Recovery services now that I was getting the word out through my posts.
Since I have written about the breakup experiences, and my journey through grieving and then healing from this relationship, I sat for a few days being unsure of what I would continue to write about. The intense passion was no longer there, at least for that particular subject, because I had completed the healing of my grief and pain. I did this through my own Grief Recovery Method by working with another trusted Specialist.
But I refuse to let this gift gather dust. I offer my clients complete and absolute anonymity when working with me. I would never share any information or anything personal that my clients trust in sharing with me. But I am hoping to find a way to speak on these experiences in the hope that it will help others who are also experiencing grief and loss and subsequently, the completeness and healing from working with me in Grief Recovery.
This is my only hope and the reason I do the work that I do. To help others and heal suffering. I feel very passionate about this work and so through this passion I believe that the words will continue to flow.
With much gratitude for the time you have just spent with me,
Helen
