08/04/2026
So many women say some version of the same thing to me. "I never think about s*x." "I'm never h***y." "My husband wants it so much more than I do."
Then, almost every time, they say something else too. "Once we get started, I usually enjoy it."
Read that again, because it matters.
That's not the story of a woman with no desire. That's often the story of a woman whose desire is responsive rather than spontaneous, and who has spent years comparing herself to a model of s*xuality that was never designed for her body in the first place.
That comparison is where the shame creeps in. It's not because anything is actually wrong. It's because the ruler being used to measure "normal" was never the right one to begin with.
If "I never think about s*x until we're already close" sounds like your story, you might not be low libido. You might just be using the wrong ruler.
*xualwellness *xtherapy
