06/16/2026
7 Things I Love about Postpartum Women in Distress
(And wonder if, when they recover well, they will see what I see)
πΉShe is vulnerable.
Her heart is broken, which causes excruciating pain. But when this happens to her heart, it also opens it a bit. What I can see, that she may not yet believe, is an acute sensitivity that will eventually enable her to heal and grow. Emotional vulnerability dares her to stand up against her symptoms and move forward despite the temptation to give up. This takes courage and staying power.
πΉHer fear is intense.
This is hard to love because itβs so agitating for her, but it is matched by her determination to feel better and reconnect with her family. She is compelled to restore her body, her mind, and her soul to good health. Even when she cannot see through the darkness, she believes, on some level, if she listens long enough, works hard enough, seeks the right support, and follows the right pathway, she will find her way back to herself .
πΉShe laughs seldom, but easily.
I love this most of all. You have to look for this on. I find it inspirational to witness a weary but hopeful smile in response to some delicate (or indelicate) attempt of mine to assess her ability to take on my quip and connect with me, despite her resistance. When she smiles or laughs or joins my effort to engage her in this way, I can see her true self for an instant. Itβs magical.
πΉShe is hungry for joy.
Right at the surface of distress rests her desire for a return to her former self. She is exhausted and depleted. She is also primed and poised for relief. When she can sense a hint of respite, a sprinkle of hope, or a clue of better days to come, she can breathe more easily.
πΉShe is painfully self-aware.
While she currently sees introspection as an anxious companion to her agonizing ruminations, it is also a reservoir of emotional access which, when she feels better, will illuminate her postpartum journey with insight and perspective. It is this burden-blessing dichotomy that will spin things in a positive trajectory as she recovers.
πΉShe is an angry mama bear.
She may feel that distress threatens her baby by impairing her relationship or her ability to mother. This enrages her. It also motivates her. When we can harness that arousal, we can guide her toward support resources that she is unable to utilize when distress is high.
πΉShe is ambivalent.
She does not want to feel this way for one minute longer. If we offer a glimpse into the option that she will not always feel this way, she is hopeful, she is grateful, she is desperately appreciative. She doesnβt want help but she canβt stand the way she is feeling. She wants validation, reassurance and mostly, she wants relief from her symptoms. She is a beautiful paradox of defenselessness and power. Of nakedness and supreme focus. She is scared and she is determined. These contradictions can bewilder her at first, but can ultimately provide momentum toward healing.