Barbara Feil Counseling

11/23/2023

Today I pray for all those for whom gratitude seems very hard to find...who live with persistent loneliness, pain, and trauma that is not seen by those around them. May they find hope in the cross that was essential before resurrection or as Francis Weller describes in "The Wild Edge of Sorrow" - "Through our ability to acknowledge the layers of loss, we can truly discover our capacity to respond, to protect and to restore what has been damaged." Thankful for this reality...

10/16/2022

Sobering thoughts!

Your story matters to God. Your wounds matter to God. But does your story matter to you? Do your wounds matter to you? Or, do you tend to minimize your wounds or ignore them or simply pretend they aren't there? For more on this, please check out podcast episode 121. And also consider registering for the Understanding Your Story virtual workshop on Saturday, November 19 (via zoom). Link in bio to register.

09/30/2022

I like to point to the example of Jesus when it comes to our emotions.

We see Him weep.
We see Him get angry.
We see Him grieve.

The goal isn't to numb ourselves so that we're never showing any emotion. Nor is the goal to let our emotions run roughshod over our lives (and over everyone around us.)

The goal is to be in a healthy relationship with our emotions. To honor them. To let them flow through. To let them make us more human.

Learning to honor the cues your emotions are sending you is part of the work of trusting yourself. I write about this process in my new book The Best of You, available anywhere books are sold today!

02/24/2022

01/15/2022

Many abuse survivors never disclose abuse during their lifetime. Fostering trauma-informed faith communities is important for the survivors who have shared about their abuse and the survivors who may never share.

The quote in the image is from Patience Mason (The Post-Traumatic Gazette, 1995, pg. 1).

01/15/2022

This is a very important organization identified as having a Godly Response to Abuse in Christian Environments. They provide legal counsel and support victims and educate the church and Christian organizations about how to respond to abuse within their walls and to victims of abuse in their church. As I work with those who have often been hurt by the very people God sent to heal I deeply appreciate them.

Churches should be a safe place to express pain, doubts, discomfort, lament, and struggle. This is critical for churches to be safe for survivors.

06/27/2021

I know I have not posted much during the past 15 months, but I have had a front row seat to how difficult the pandemic/quarantine /fires/politics/election/racial unrest has been especially on those who already carry past trauma. The next time you see someone over-react be compassionate. Maybe it's not just the present that is being responded to!

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08/09/2020

During this time of COVID, I recommend a MUST read for parents, anyone in education, business people, pastors, well just every human. First Marc Brackett, "Permission to Feel - The Power of Emotional Intelligence to Achieve Well-Being and Success." If you want a preview listen to Brene Brown's podcast with Marc at this link: https://brenebrown.com/podcast/dr-marc-brackett-and-brene-on-permission-to-feel/. Use this pandemic for personal growth.

Dr. Marc Brackett has dedicated his life to studying emotions and to teaching us what he’s learning. In this episode, we talk about how emotional literacy - being able to recognize, name, and understand our feelings - affects everything from learning, decision making, and creativity, to relationsh...