07/04/2026
Who is the hardest person you speak to all week?
For many of us, it's ourselves.
The presentation ends.
The meeting is over.
The difficult conversation is finished.
Before anyone else has offered an opinion, someone inside is already speaking.
"You should have done better."
"What were you thinking?"
"That wasn't enough."
Most of us don't experience this as one voice among many.
We experience it as our voice.
As the truth.
And before we know it, that voice has appointed itself judge, jury, and executioner.
We believe every word it says.
Our confidence drops.
We begin questioning our competence.
And in a matter of moments, we can feel ourselves becoming smaller than we actually are.
One of the most liberating discoveries I've made, both personally and professionally, is that we're made up of many roles.
Each sees the world through a different lens.
Each is trying, in its own way, to be in service to us.
The challenge is that some of the parts working hardest on our behalf are also the ones that suck the most at communicating what they're trying to tell us.
The voice we often call the inner critic is one of those roles.
Its methods can be harsh. Sometimes brutal.
But beneath the criticism there is often an intention that deserves our curiosity.
Sometimes it's trying to protect us.
Sometimes it's pushing us toward excellence.
Sometimes it's trying to keep us from repeating an old mistake, living below our potential, or violating a value that matters deeply to us.
Whatever its purpose, harsh criticism may be the only language it has learned to speak.
What if, instead of automatically believing that voice, or trying to silence it, we became curious?
What if we asked:
"How are you trying to help me?"
"What do you need me to hear?"
I've found that beneath even the harshest inner critic there is often intelligence we couldn't hear because we didn't realize it was only one role.
We simply accepted what it said as the truth.
The goal isn't to get rid of the inner critic.
Nor is it to accept everything it says without discernment.
It's to stop letting that role dominate our inner world, learn to hear what it's trying to tell us, and integrate its wisdom while staying connected to our personal power.
That's what we'll begin exploring together in Befriending the Inner Critic: Turn Self-Attack Into Fierce Inner Leadership, the July workshop in the Making Meaning From Mess series.
Live Online
Tuesday, July 22
• 8:00–10:00 a.m. Pacific (11:00 a.m.–1:00 p.m. Eastern)
• 4:00–6:00 p.m. Pacific (7:00–9:00 p.m. Eastern)
In Person – Portland
Wednesday, July 23
• 5:30–7:30 p.m. Pacific
Registration:
https://community.processwork.org/spaces/23913883/page
Email Cathy Bernatt with any inquiries at [email protected]
