02/05/2023
This full moon in Leo has illuminated my darkest shadows as well as my greatest creative gifts. Iâm in awe of how the human experience can bring us into the deepest despair one moment and then the next we are rising again like the Phoenix. I have been in such a period of incubation over the past year+, experiencing so much oscillation between deep grief and an even deeper reverence for myself and the mysteries of this life.
I notice that as each day of 2023 passes I am deconstructing so many old paradigms, thoughts, ideas, creative endeavors, labels, expectations, fears, trauma, the list goes on. I feel like the version of me that I am meeting these days is more myself than Iâve even been, and at the same time I keep seeing the sharp threads of the past that have been woven through my experience as the tapestry of my life keeps shifting, changing, transmuting, becoming. Itâs been everything, all at once.
Sometimes I am terrified. The grips of my pain and programmed self-loathing choke me. Other times I am soaring, expansive, fully embodied in my wholeness. There is a lot to care about in this life, yet there are moments when caring feels like too much and all I can do is fall apart so I can come back together more beautiful than before, like Japanese pottery.
I have a desire to come back into my sacred work, to offer my gifts of healing and insight to others, but each time I begin I am met with another version of myself that has to die. I must pause to acknowledge, grieve, and bury her and then move on to the next iteration. This is a cycle Iâve experienced my whole like but itâs been sped up to the point where the death and rebirth process happens in a matter of days instead of months or years. I am completely in the mystery, and yet I feel help by something my former self has no knowledge of. I have spent years externally seeking, looking for answers to the mystery, finding moments of comfort in the uncertainty and then quickly following my mind back to looking for solutions.
But now I ask, what problems have I been trying to solve? Are they really problems at all? When my cat needs a surgery and I need money to come into my life, do I see that as a problem or an opportunity to expand further into my creative potential? Can I hold this experience of fear of the unknown, of the possibility of losing a being that I love, who is not yet 5 years old, alongside the faith that the money that I need to help my friend will come through, or another solution that I havenât yet thought of? Can I hold my fear and love all at the same time without making either feeling wrong? Can I embrace possibilities while staying grounded in my messy reality?
Itâs not lost to me that my kitty named Leo, after the sign of creative expression and bold, is the one who needs support and healing now. In my own natal chart, I have Chiron in Leo, the wounded healer. Leo is also the missing leg of the challenging ât-squareâ that I have between my Sun/Mercury, Moon, and Pluto. I have been ignoring my creative healing for so long and I am grateful that the grief of my current experience is bringing me back home to her.
I am still asking for support for my kitty and I would offer my gifts in return. You can send a donation to me via Venmo -Arsvold or through PayPal to [email protected].
Anyone who can donate $50 or more for Leoâs healing can receive one of 3 offerings for healing and guidance with me - you pick the offering most resonant to you.
Option 1: An intuitive tarot reading, live or recorded, for clarity around any area of life you may feel stuck in right now, to help support you in understanding how you can move forward with more ease and alignment.
Option 2: An Akashic Records reading where you will learn your starseed origins as well as your Soulâs divine gifts and how you can align yourself to your soul. (Note: A full Soul Realignment session which will also include insight on your current clocks and restrictions and a clearing of your akashic records is available for $200).
Option 3: A channeled healing song using light language and sacred frequencies. This will be recorded and sent to you as an audio file so you can listen any time.
Please reach out with any questions. I am open to receive. And so it is. Thank you thank you thank you.