Ashley N. Green, MA, LMFT 112738 - Heal Your Heart Therapy

Ashley N. Green, MA, LMFT 112738 - Heal Your Heart Therapy Providing therapy for individuals of all ages, couples, and families.

Imagine being in a relationship so emotionally abusive that you become convinced something is seriously wrong with you.N...
08/08/2026

Imagine being in a relationship so emotionally abusive that you become convinced something is seriously wrong with you.

Not just that you're stressed.

You genuinely begin wondering whether you have a memory problem, BPD, bipolar disorder, ADHD, or another mental health or neurological condition.

Maybe the fear becomes so real that you seek professional help. You make appointments, describe your memory problems and emotional reactions, or even undergo psychological or neuropsychological testing because you've become afraid that something is seriously wrong with your brain.

And sometimes, there is a diagnosis that deserves appropriate treatment.

But sometimes another question needs to be asked, too:

“What has been happening to you?”

Chronic emotional abuse can slowly change the way you experience yourself.

When your memories are repeatedly challenged, your emotions are dismissed, conflicts are rewritten, you're blamed for another person's behavior, or your reactions are continually used as evidence that you're the problem, you can begin to lose confidence in your own perception.

Over time, the question can shift from:

“Why are they treating me this way?”

to:

“What is wrong with me?”

And that's where the damage can become incredibly deep.

You may become anxious, emotionally reactive, forgetful, confused, hypervigilant, or unable to think clearly under stress. You may no longer recognize the person you've become in the relationship.

It doesn't always leave bruises.

Sometimes emotional abuse leaves someone sitting in a doctor's or psychologist's office trying to figure out what's wrong with their brain…

when no one has stopped to ask what's been happening in their environment.

None of this means symptoms should be dismissed or assumed to be caused by abuse. BPD, bipolar disorder, ADHD, trauma disorders, neurological conditions, and memory disorders are real and deserve appropriate assessment.

But context matters.

How someone functions while living in chronic emotional distress may look very different from how that same person functions when they feel emotionally safe.

Healing can begin when the question changes from:

“What is wrong with me?”

to

🧠 Rational Mind vs. Emotional Mind: Why You Need BothHave you ever looked back on a decision and thought, "Why did I rea...
08/05/2026

🧠 Rational Mind vs. Emotional Mind: Why You Need Both

Have you ever looked back on a decision and thought, "Why did I react that way?" Or maybe you've told yourself, "I know better, so why can't I stop feeling this way?"

The answer often lies in understanding the difference between your rational mind and your emotional mind.

Your rational mind is logical. It analyzes information, weighs pros and cons, plans ahead, and considers long-term consequences. It's incredibly helpful when you're solving problems, making important decisions, or evaluating facts.

Your emotional mind is guided by your feelings, experiences, intuition, and nervous system. It helps you connect with others, recognize danger, build relationships, and understand what truly matters to you. It isn't "wrong"—it's human.

The challenge is that stress, trauma, anxiety, or relationship conflict can shift us into emotional mind, making it harder to access logic. On the other hand, some people become so focused on rational thinking that they disconnect from their emotions altogether, leading to overthinking, perfectionism, or difficulty feeling connected.

Neither mind is the enemy.

The goal isn't to silence your emotions or ignore logic. The goal is integration.

✨ Notice what you're feeling.
✨ Slow your nervous system.
✨ Ask what the facts actually support.
✨ Respond instead of react.
✨ Let your values—not just your emotions or fears—guide your next step.

This is often where healing begins: learning to trust your emotions without letting them drive the entire car, while allowing your rational mind to provide direction without dismissing what your heart is trying to tell you.

Reflection question:
When you're under stress, do you tend to live more in your rational mind or your emotional mind? What helps you return to balance?

💜 Healing isn't about choosing one over the other. It's about learning when each one has something valuable to say.

Have you noticed how social media keeps telling us that certain body language automatically means someone is a narcissis...
08/04/2026

Have you noticed how social media keeps telling us that certain body language automatically means someone is a narcissist?

🚩 "If they cross their arms..."
🚩 "If they stare at you..."
🚩 "If they smirk..."
🚩 "If they don't make eye contact..."
🚩 "If they invade your personal space..."

Here's the truth:

None of these behaviors are part of the diagnostic criteria for Narcissistic Personality Disorder.

Can people with narcissistic traits display some of these behaviors? Absolutely.

Can people who are anxious, autistic, traumatized, socially awkward, confident, distracted, or simply having a bad day display the exact same behaviors? Absolutely.

Body language alone cannot tell you whether someone is a narcissist.

What matters is the pattern over time.

Ask yourself:
• Do they consistently lack empathy?
• Do they exploit others for their own benefit?
• Do they believe they're entitled to special treatment?
• Do they refuse accountability?
• Do they manipulate, blame, or distort reality to maintain control?

A single facial expression or body language behavior doesn't diagnose narcissism.

A "narcissistic stare" doesn't diagnose narcissism.

Even several nonverbal behaviors together don't diagnose narcissism.

As a therapist specializing in narcissistic abuse, I encourage survivors to focus less on viral checklists and more on consistent patterns of behavior that leave you feeling confused, devalued, manipulated, and disconnected from your own reality.

The goal isn't to become better at labeling people.

The goal is becoming better at recognizing unhealthy relationship patterns and trusting your own experiences.

Therapy Psychology Healing EmotionalAbuse UngaslightingYourself

Have you ever been laughing, enjoying yourself, or feeling genuinely happy... only to look up and catch that look?The co...
08/03/2026

Have you ever been laughing, enjoying yourself, or feeling genuinely happy... only to look up and catch that look?

The cold stare.
The expressionless face.
The eyes that seem to say, "How dare you be happy without me?"

Many survivors of narcissistic abuse describe this as the "narcissist stare." While it isn't a clinical term, it often reflects something important: your joy isn't being shared—it's being monitored.

Healthy people usually enjoy seeing those they love laugh, connect, and thrive. Someone with strong narcissistic traits may instead experience your happiness as a threat if they aren't the center of it. The result can be a glare, silent disapproval, or an intense stare that instantly makes you question yourself.

Over time, many survivors begin to:
• Stop laughing as loudly.
• Avoid drawing attention to themselves.
• Feel guilty for having fun.
• Scan the room before expressing joy.

If you've experienced this, remember: Your joy is not something you need permission to feel.

Healing means reclaiming the parts of yourself that learned happiness was unsafe.

💙 Have you ever noticed this look? What did it make you feel?

📚 If you've ever questioned your own memories, minimized your experiences, or wondered, "Maybe I'm the problem..." this ...
07/20/2026

📚 If you've ever questioned your own memories, minimized your experiences, or wondered, "Maybe I'm the problem..." this book was written for you.

Healing Through the Pages: A Journal for Recovery from Narcissistic Abuse isn't just a journal. It's a guided space to help you untangle the confusion, reconnect with your voice, and begin trusting yourself again.

Healing doesn't happen overnight, but every page is one step closer to reclaiming your reality.

✨ You deserve peace.
✨ You deserve clarity.
✨ You deserve to heal.

Grab your copy here on Amazon:
https://a.co/d/04RkLHII

💛 If you've already read it, I'd be so grateful if you'd leave a review. Your words can help another survivor find hope.

Give People the Benefit of the Doubt... for Your Own Peace of Mind. ❤️Not because everyone deserves unlimited chances.No...
07/19/2026

Give People the Benefit of the Doubt... for Your Own Peace of Mind. ❤️

Not because everyone deserves unlimited chances.

Not because harmful behavior should be ignored.

But because carrying assumptions, resentment, and imagined intentions is exhausting.

Most of the time, we don't actually know why someone did what they did. Maybe they were distracted. Maybe they were overwhelmed. Maybe they made a mistake. Or maybe they truly did have bad intentions.

The truth is, you often don't know.

When you automatically assume the worst, your nervous system responds as though you're under attack. Stress hormones rise, your mind begins replaying the situation, and your peace quietly slips away.

Giving someone the benefit of the doubt isn't about excusing unhealthy behavior. It's about choosing not to create suffering for yourself before you have the facts.

You can hold healthy boundaries and choose peace.

Sometimes the kindest thing you can do isn't giving someone else grace—it's giving your own mind a break.

💛 Protect your peace. Not every unanswered question needs a negative answer.

Relationships SelfCare HealYourHeartTherapy

Busy lives. Real stress.Life has a way of filling every empty space.Work. Kids. Appointments. Bills. Notifications. Expe...
07/16/2026

Busy lives. Real stress.

Life has a way of filling every empty space.

Work. Kids. Appointments. Bills. Notifications. Expectations. Before we know it, we're constantly moving but rarely slowing down long enough to notice what stress is doing to us.

Stress doesn't always look like a breakdown.

Sometimes it looks like:
• Snapping at the people you love.
• Lying awake even though you're exhausted.
• Feeling overwhelmed by small tasks.
• Forgetting things.
• Living in survival mode instead of truly living.

Being busy isn't the same as being well.

Chronic stress doesn't just affect how you feel—it affects your brain. When your body stays in a constant state of stress, it releases stress hormones like cortisol. Over time, this can make it harder to concentrate, remember things, make decisions, regulate emotions, and feel calm. Your nervous system can become stuck in survival mode, making it difficult to truly rest—even when you finally have the chance.

If you've been feeling overwhelmed, irritable, forgetful, or emotionally exhausted, you're not weak. Your brain and body may simply be asking for recovery.

Give yourself permission to pause today. Take a few deep breaths. Step outside. Drink some water. Say no to one thing that isn't essential. Small moments of rest aren't selfish—they're how your brain and body begin to heal.

You don't have to earn rest. You simply need it. 💛

What's one small thing you'll do today to lower your stress?

🇺🇸 Happy 250th Birthday, America! 🇺🇸Today we celebrate 250 years of courage, resilience, freedom, and the enduring belie...
07/04/2026

🇺🇸 Happy 250th Birthday, America! 🇺🇸

Today we celebrate 250 years of courage, resilience, freedom, and the enduring belief that every person has inherent worth and the opportunity to pursue a better future.

As a therapist, I'm reminded that freedom isn't only something we celebrate as a nation—it is also something many people work toward personally. Freedom from fear. Freedom from shame. Freedom from unhealthy patterns. Freedom to heal, grow, and become who they were created to be.

No nation is perfect, and no person is either. Yet growth happens when we acknowledge our history, learn from it, and continue striving toward the values that unite us: liberty, justice, compassion, and hope.

Today, may we celebrate with gratitude for those who came before us, appreciation for those who serve today, and hope for the generations still to come.

From all of us at Heal Your Heart Therapy, we wish you a safe, joyful, and meaningful 4th of July as we celebrate 250 years of America.

❤️🤍💙 Happy Independence Day! 🇺🇸✨

Projection: When Someone Else's Feelings Become Your BurdenHave you ever walked away from a conversation wondering..."Am...
07/01/2026

Projection: When Someone Else's Feelings Become Your Burden

Have you ever walked away from a conversation wondering...
"Am I really the problem?"
"Maybe I am too sensitive."
"What if they're right about me?"

Sometimes, those questions are worth exploring.
Sometimes, they're the result of projection.

Projection is a psychological defense mechanism in which someone attributes their own uncomfortable thoughts, feelings, or behaviors to someone else instead of acknowledging them within themselves.

It might sound like:
• "You're selfish."
• "You're controlling."
• "You're always judging me."
• "You're the one causing all the problems."

The difficult part is that hearing these messages repeatedly can begin to change how you see yourself.

You start carrying blame that was never yours.
You begin questioning your character instead of their behavior.

You slowly lose trust in your own reality.
This doesn't mean every piece of feedback is projection. Healthy relationships involve accountability on both sides.

The difference is that healthy feedback invites growth.

Projection places responsibility where it doesn't belong.

The next time you feel weighed down by someone else's accusations, pause and ask yourself:
"Is this truly mine to carry?"

Not every emotion belongs to you.

Not every accusation defines you.

Sometimes, the healthiest thing you can do is put down a burden that was never yours in the first place.

💚 Awareness creates choice. Choice creates freedom.

SelfAwareness Boundaries HealYourHeartTherapy

Trauma Isn’t Always What You Think It Looks LikeWhen people hear the word trauma, they often picture someone falling apa...
06/25/2026

Trauma Isn’t Always What You Think It Looks Like

When people hear the word trauma, they often picture someone falling apart. Crying. Unable to function. Clearly struggling.

But trauma is often much quieter than that.

Sometimes trauma looks like:

🏆 The Overachiever
The person who never slows down, always achieves, and looks successful from the outside… but deep down believes their worth comes from what they do, not who they are.

🤍 The People Pleaser
The person who anticipates everyone else’s needs, avoids conflict, and says “I’m fine” because keeping the peace once meant staying safe.

😂 The Funny One
The person who makes everyone laugh but uses humor to keep others from seeing how much they’re hurting.

🧱 The Wall Builder
The person who appears “cold” or “independent,” but really learned that needing people wasn’t always safe.

😶 The Numb One
The person who stays busy, disconnects, or says “it wasn’t that bad” because feeling it all feels too overwhelming.

✨ The Dreamer
The person always planning the next thing, imagining a different life, or escaping into “someday” because the present feels too heavy.

Trauma adaptations are not personality flaws.

They were ways you learned to survive.

Healing isn’t about judging the mask you wore. It’s about understanding why you needed it… and learning that you are safe enough to slowly put it down.

You are not who you had to become to survive. 🤍

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Redding, CA
96001

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Wednesday 8am - 5:30pm
Friday 8am - 1pm

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