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Wednesday 8am - 5:30pm Friday 8am - 1pm

http://www.HealYourHeartTherapy.com/

Ashley N. Green, MA, LMFT 112738 - Heal Your Heart Therapy, Redding, CA (2026)

08/10/2026

Trauma Processing Is More Than Talking About What Happened

Processing trauma isn’t just telling the story over and over again.

In fact, you can understand exactly what happened to you, explain it perfectly, and still feel like your body is living as though it’s happening right now.

Because trauma isn’t only stored as a story.

It can show up in your nervous system.
In your beliefs.
In your relationships.
In the way you respond to conflict.
In what you expect from other people.
In the things you avoid.
In the way your body reacts before your mind even knows why.

Trauma processing is about helping your brain and body recognize:

“That happened to me. But it is not happening to me right now.”

Sometimes processing involves talking about what happened.

But it can also involve:

• Making sense of experiences that once felt confusing or fragmented
• Identifying beliefs you developed in order to survive
• Learning to recognize triggers without judging yourself for having them
• Allowing emotions that once felt too dangerous to feel
• Helping your nervous system experience safety in the present
• Separating what happened to you from who you believe you are
• Grieving what you lost—or what you should have received but didn't
• Relearning boundaries, trust, connection, and self-protection
• Recognizing survival responses that are no longer necessary
• Reconnecting with parts of yourself you had to silence, hide, or abandon

And importantly, processing trauma does not mean forcing yourself to relive every painful detail.

Good trauma therapy isn't about overwhelming you until you somehow become immune to the pain.

It's about working within a level your nervous system can tolerate while gradually helping the past become integrated as something that happened—rather than something your brain and body must continue preparing for.

Healing doesn't necessarily mean you forget.

You may always remember.

The difference is that eventually, the memory can become a chapter of your story instead of the place your nervous system still lives.

That is trauma processing.

Not erasing the past.

Helping your mind and body finally understand that the past is past. ❤️

Heal Your Hear

08/09/2026

“What’s wrong with me?”

It’s a question I hear far too often.

And sometimes, the better question is:
“What happened to me?”

When you’ve spent enough time in an emotionally abusive, manipulative, invalidating, or chronically unsafe relationship, you can start believing that you are the problem.

You may question your memory.
You may second-guess your feelings.
You may replay conversations over and over, trying to figure out what you did wrong.
You may apologize constantly.
You may become hyperaware of someone else’s moods.
You may stop trusting your instincts.
You may feel anxious, emotionally numb, confused, or like you’re “too sensitive.”
You may even wonder if there is something seriously wrong with you.

Trauma can change the way we experience ourselves and the world around us. When your reality has repeatedly been dismissed, distorted, criticized, or rewritten, self-doubt can become a survival response.

You learn to look outside yourself for confirmation of what is real.

Am I remembering this correctly?
Was it actually that bad?
Am I overreacting?
Maybe I really am the problem.

Eventually, you may become so focused on understanding the other person that you lose connection with yourself.

But healing is possible.

Healing is learning to trust your perceptions again.

It’s recognizing patterns without blaming yourself for surviving them.
It’s rebuilding boundaries.
It’s reconnecting with your emotions.
It’s separating someone else’s version of you from who you actually are.

And slowly, the question can shift from:
“What’s wrong with me?”
to:
“What happened to me, what did I learn to do to survive it, and what do I need now to heal?”

That is part of why I created Healing Through the Pages: A Journal for Recovery from Narcissistic Abuse—to give survivors a place to process what happened, reconnect with themselves, and begin putting the pieces back together.

📖 Healing Through the Pages is available on Amazon:
Get the journal here⁠ https://a.co/d/0iX4AQOF

💛 Heal Your Heart Therapy
www.HealYourHeartTherapy.com⁠

08/08/2026

Imagine being in a relationship so emotionally abusive that you become convinced something is seriously wrong with you.

Not just that you're stressed.

You genuinely begin wondering whether you have a memory problem, BPD, bipolar disorder, ADHD, or another mental health or neurological condition.

Maybe the fear becomes so real that you seek professional help. You make appointments, describe your memory problems and emotional reactions, or even undergo psychological or neuropsychological testing because you've become afraid that something is seriously wrong with your brain.

And sometimes, there is a diagnosis that deserves appropriate treatment.

But sometimes another question needs to be asked, too:

“What has been happening to you?”

Chronic emotional abuse can slowly change the way you experience yourself.

When your memories are repeatedly challenged, your emotions are dismissed, conflicts are rewritten, you're blamed for another person's behavior, or your reactions are continually used as evidence that you're the problem, you can begin to lose confidence in your own perception.

Over time, the question can shift from:

“Why are they treating me this way?”

to:

“What is wrong with me?”

And that's where the damage can become incredibly deep.

You may become anxious, emotionally reactive, forgetful, confused, hypervigilant, or unable to think clearly under stress. You may no longer recognize the person you've become in the relationship.

It doesn't always leave bruises.

Sometimes emotional abuse leaves someone sitting in a doctor's or psychologist's office trying to figure out what's wrong with their brain…

when no one has stopped to ask what's been happening in their environment.

None of this means symptoms should be dismissed or assumed to be caused by abuse. BPD, bipolar disorder, ADHD, trauma disorders, neurological conditions, and memory disorders are real and deserve appropriate assessment.

But context matters.

How someone functions while living in chronic emotional distress may look very different from how that same person functions when they feel emotionally safe.

Healing can begin when the question changes from:

“What is wrong with me?”

to

08/05/2026

🧠 Rational Mind vs. Emotional Mind: Why You Need Both

Have you ever looked back on a decision and thought, "Why did I react that way?" Or maybe you've told yourself, "I know better, so why can't I stop feeling this way?"

The answer often lies in understanding the difference between your rational mind and your emotional mind.

Your rational mind is logical. It analyzes information, weighs pros and cons, plans ahead, and considers long-term consequences. It's incredibly helpful when you're solving problems, making important decisions, or evaluating facts.

Your emotional mind is guided by your feelings, experiences, intuition, and nervous system. It helps you connect with others, recognize danger, build relationships, and understand what truly matters to you. It isn't "wrong"—it's human.

The challenge is that stress, trauma, anxiety, or relationship conflict can shift us into emotional mind, making it harder to access logic. On the other hand, some people become so focused on rational thinking that they disconnect from their emotions altogether, leading to overthinking, perfectionism, or difficulty feeling connected.

Neither mind is the enemy.

The goal isn't to silence your emotions or ignore logic. The goal is integration.

✨ Notice what you're feeling.
✨ Slow your nervous system.
✨ Ask what the facts actually support.
✨ Respond instead of react.
✨ Let your values—not just your emotions or fears—guide your next step.

This is often where healing begins: learning to trust your emotions without letting them drive the entire car, while allowing your rational mind to provide direction without dismissing what your heart is trying to tell you.

Reflection question:
When you're under stress, do you tend to live more in your rational mind or your emotional mind? What helps you return to balance?

💜 Healing isn't about choosing one over the other. It's about learning when each one has something valuable to say.

08/04/2026

Have you noticed how social media keeps telling us that certain body language automatically means someone is a narcissist?

🚩 "If they cross their arms..."
🚩 "If they stare at you..."
🚩 "If they smirk..."
🚩 "If they don't make eye contact..."
🚩 "If they invade your personal space..."

Here's the truth:

None of these behaviors are part of the diagnostic criteria for Narcissistic Personality Disorder.

Can people with narcissistic traits display some of these behaviors? Absolutely.

Can people who are anxious, autistic, traumatized, socially awkward, confident, distracted, or simply having a bad day display the exact same behaviors? Absolutely.

Body language alone cannot tell you whether someone is a narcissist.

What matters is the pattern over time.

Ask yourself:
• Do they consistently lack empathy?
• Do they exploit others for their own benefit?
• Do they believe they're entitled to special treatment?
• Do they refuse accountability?
• Do they manipulate, blame, or distort reality to maintain control?

A single facial expression or body language behavior doesn't diagnose narcissism.

A "narcissistic stare" doesn't diagnose narcissism.

Even several nonverbal behaviors together don't diagnose narcissism.

As a therapist specializing in narcissistic abuse, I encourage survivors to focus less on viral checklists and more on consistent patterns of behavior that leave you feeling confused, devalued, manipulated, and disconnected from your own reality.

The goal isn't to become better at labeling people.

The goal is becoming better at recognizing unhealthy relationship patterns and trusting your own experiences.

Therapy Psychology Healing EmotionalAbuse UngaslightingYourself

08/03/2026

Have you ever been laughing, enjoying yourself, or feeling genuinely happy... only to look up and catch that look?

The cold stare.
The expressionless face.
The eyes that seem to say, "How dare you be happy without me?"

Many survivors of narcissistic abuse describe this as the "narcissist stare." While it isn't a clinical term, it often reflects something important: your joy isn't being shared—it's being monitored.

Healthy people usually enjoy seeing those they love laugh, connect, and thrive. Someone with strong narcissistic traits may instead experience your happiness as a threat if they aren't the center of it. The result can be a glare, silent disapproval, or an intense stare that instantly makes you question yourself.

Over time, many survivors begin to:
• Stop laughing as loudly.
• Avoid drawing attention to themselves.
• Feel guilty for having fun.
• Scan the room before expressing joy.

If you've experienced this, remember: Your joy is not something you need permission to feel.

Healing means reclaiming the parts of yourself that learned happiness was unsafe.

💙 Have you ever noticed this look? What did it make you feel?

07/20/2026

📚 If you've ever questioned your own memories, minimized your experiences, or wondered, "Maybe I'm the problem..." this book was written for you.

Healing Through the Pages: A Journal for Recovery from Narcissistic Abuse isn't just a journal. It's a guided space to help you untangle the confusion, reconnect with your voice, and begin trusting yourself again.

Healing doesn't happen overnight, but every page is one step closer to reclaiming your reality.

✨ You deserve peace.
✨ You deserve clarity.
✨ You deserve to heal.

Grab your copy here on Amazon:
https://a.co/d/04RkLHII

💛 If you've already read it, I'd be so grateful if you'd leave a review. Your words can help another survivor find hope.

07/19/2026

Give People the Benefit of the Doubt... for Your Own Peace of Mind. ❤️

Not because everyone deserves unlimited chances.

Not because harmful behavior should be ignored.

But because carrying assumptions, resentment, and imagined intentions is exhausting.

Most of the time, we don't actually know why someone did what they did. Maybe they were distracted. Maybe they were overwhelmed. Maybe they made a mistake. Or maybe they truly did have bad intentions.

The truth is, you often don't know.

When you automatically assume the worst, your nervous system responds as though you're under attack. Stress hormones rise, your mind begins replaying the situation, and your peace quietly slips away.

Giving someone the benefit of the doubt isn't about excusing unhealthy behavior. It's about choosing not to create suffering for yourself before you have the facts.

You can hold healthy boundaries and choose peace.

Sometimes the kindest thing you can do isn't giving someone else grace—it's giving your own mind a break.

💛 Protect your peace. Not every unanswered question needs a negative answer.

Relationships SelfCare HealYourHeartTherapy

07/16/2026

Busy lives. Real stress.

Life has a way of filling every empty space.

Work. Kids. Appointments. Bills. Notifications. Expectations. Before we know it, we're constantly moving but rarely slowing down long enough to notice what stress is doing to us.

Stress doesn't always look like a breakdown.

Sometimes it looks like:
• Snapping at the people you love.
• Lying awake even though you're exhausted.
• Feeling overwhelmed by small tasks.
• Forgetting things.
• Living in survival mode instead of truly living.

Being busy isn't the same as being well.

Chronic stress doesn't just affect how you feel—it affects your brain. When your body stays in a constant state of stress, it releases stress hormones like cortisol. Over time, this can make it harder to concentrate, remember things, make decisions, regulate emotions, and feel calm. Your nervous system can become stuck in survival mode, making it difficult to truly rest—even when you finally have the chance.

If you've been feeling overwhelmed, irritable, forgetful, or emotionally exhausted, you're not weak. Your brain and body may simply be asking for recovery.

Give yourself permission to pause today. Take a few deep breaths. Step outside. Drink some water. Say no to one thing that isn't essential. Small moments of rest aren't selfish—they're how your brain and body begin to heal.

You don't have to earn rest. You simply need it. 💛

What's one small thing you'll do today to lower your stress?

07/04/2026

🇺🇸 Happy 250th Birthday, America! 🇺🇸

Today we celebrate 250 years of courage, resilience, freedom, and the enduring belief that every person has inherent worth and the opportunity to pursue a better future.

As a therapist, I'm reminded that freedom isn't only something we celebrate as a nation—it is also something many people work toward personally. Freedom from fear. Freedom from shame. Freedom from unhealthy patterns. Freedom to heal, grow, and become who they were created to be.

No nation is perfect, and no person is either. Yet growth happens when we acknowledge our history, learn from it, and continue striving toward the values that unite us: liberty, justice, compassion, and hope.

Today, may we celebrate with gratitude for those who came before us, appreciation for those who serve today, and hope for the generations still to come.

From all of us at Heal Your Heart Therapy, we wish you a safe, joyful, and meaningful 4th of July as we celebrate 250 years of America.

❤️🤍💙 Happy Independence Day! 🇺🇸✨

Ashley N. Green, MA, LMFT 112738 - Heal Your Heart Therapy

08/10/2026

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