Marriage & Relationship Coaching Center of Central VA

12/30/2021

Pretty Funny... it is good to laugh at ourselves. 😅🤣😎

12/07/2021

TOP Marriage Counselor in Metro-Richmond recognition again from THREE BEST Rated for 2022!

11/05/2021

National Marriage Week: Why people Divorce.

What would you expect to be the indicator that rises above all others and points to the likelihood of a marriage ending in divorce? Financial stress? Lack of physical intimacy? Length of engagement before marriage? Age of the couple?

Multiple studies have found that the top predictor of whether a marriage will end in divorce is the way the couple handles disagreements. Research has found that if 10% or more of a couple’s conversations are negative or include a critical comment directed at their partner, the odds of the marriage lasting drop dramatically. This doesn’t mean that the key to a successful marriage is finding a mate who avoids conflict or agrees with you on everything. Instead, it underscores the importance of learning how to discuss issues in a healthy way.

Your frustration with your spouse is not a breakdown in communication. It is an opportunity – to express feelings that have been unspoken, to resolve an issue, and to make your marriage stronger than ever. So let’s start to recognize it as such and make the most of it. Here are 5 tips for managing conflict in a healthy way.
Keep a calm tone of voice. When you increase your volume, your body and mindset perceive a “threat” and will react in ways that reinforce the need to combat it. When your adrenaline kicks in and your heart rate increases, it becomes harder to think rationally, which often leads to an escalation of the situation.
Be quick to listen and slow to speak. When you do speak, find something positive to say. “Thanks for allowing me to share my feelings with you. That means a lot.”
Be respectful, especially when you’re angry. At some point the argument will be over, so don’t say anything you’ll regret or that will cause lasting hurt or resentment.
Repeat back to your spouse their viewpoint as you understand it. By simply clarifying what your mate is saying, they will feel heard and you will be making progress toward getting on the same page. Be open to learning and growing.
Remember the goal is to reach resolution, rather than win an argument, so stick to one issue. Talk about how the issue makes you feel, rather than criticizing your spouse’s actions. When your spouse doesn’t feel under attack, they will be much more open to hearing what you have to say.

- Erin & Todd Stevens

P.S. What causes conflict in YOUR marriage? Take 30 seconds to respond to our marital conflict survey. We'll share the results next week.
https://r20.rs6.net/tn.jsp?f=001CuKmBhDz8Q2mcg56HsmIlE5lqLejRGEcIcIEx7NzXt8N6uHkKORmQpW5GNCPwDm_9tDH_T_wWX8a4UmVovrTC5fX9N-bjIfp-uLTzDTF4jwPfgaKog-L125eVrTQS9FdXyrDIjRXgHwcpsyQ6ksmWn4prXW6hDJ0phdgKzDy9hh6plG6bAvFg352v3qghozw9Qx7-l0LKXlG4K1aThF7MAWmEzBOylVkEdp514ezHyIuH7_vL5xDg7xBp8-cXrdDju7MjOtvvC3OnH1Yi4GYQ_3Ow7HuEK-6yVazVz9o_AipdmdB3e8ahKdHZuKelzzceBwBZKFBLQEUyydhk6aGnADa372BQ1w0_Pc7ybhYlIALzO-C0QbBN5KIAT5K7_9aDt3avdTzN1_Gt3S0tlOxi3JgI_ZkG6VjeRC1_hv7b4Itd02-tVTFnGv6isw4tp7nXSUVAhAJpxA=&c=jZjFKok5F1RoWOrNM9bzrpHDp_I0I0nqTHZRHdjJ-21lz9M2yMErIg==&ch=PxfSJ_JvyBfZVv9HAM7bkd_43vpDzTpjIbZxnQA_AKFHwTpzCiTa_w==

Erin is the Executive Director of National Marriage Week USA and Todd is a speaker and author. Want them to speak at your marriage workshop or women's retreat? Simply reply for details.
Marriage Week USA

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07/31/2021

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