Modern Me Psychology

Modern Me Psychology We understand how difficult things can be. That's why we want to help. https://authorizations.psypact.gov/ea73afe8-15b1-4eac-954c-d39c6ed9d93d .iYhdzG8j

We're dedicated and experienced psychologists who provide individual, couples, and family therapy using a variety of approaches, and customize a plan for you to reach your goals.

Happy Labor Day from Modern Me Psychology! 🌿Today, we celebrate the work we do—and remind ourselves that we are more tha...
09/07/2026

Happy Labor Day from Modern Me Psychology! 🌿

Today, we celebrate the work we do—and remind ourselves that we are more than our productivity.

Your worth is not measured by your job title, accomplishments, or how much you can get done.

Take a moment to pause. Rest. Recharge. Be present.
You do not have to earn rest.

Wishing you a meaningful and restorative Labor Day.

🎉 Huge congratulations to Jenny, our National Night Out raffle winner! 🎉Modern Me Psychology had the pleasure of connect...
09/04/2026

🎉 Huge congratulations to Jenny, our National Night Out raffle winner! 🎉

Modern Me Psychology had the pleasure of connecting with so many wonderful members of the Bartlett and Roselle communities during National Night Out. We’re grateful for the opportunity to connect, build relationships, and celebrate our community together.

Congratulations, Jenny! We hope you enjoy your new Kindle as a little reminder to make space for self-care, reflection, and continued growth. 📚💛

Thank you to everyone who stopped by and connected with us!

Sometimes we find ourselves in our heads, questioning ourselves in relationships, and we stop asking whether our needs a...
09/03/2026

Sometimes we find ourselves in our heads, questioning ourselves in relationships, and we stop asking whether our needs are reasonable.

Am I asking for too much?
Am I too much?
Should I be more understanding?
Maybe I am expecting too much from my partner.

A healthy relationship isn’t built on one person continually minimizing or adjusting themselves to keep the peace or make their partner happy. It is built on a foundation of respect, trust, honesty, emotional safety, communication, accountability, and mutual effort.

Healthy relationships do not require you to agree on everything. They require you to know what you can be flexible on and what you cannot compromise on.

Some things may be non-negotiables for you. These may be essential to your well-being, values, safety, and help define the relationship you want to build. These might be respect, honesty, shared core values, willingness to communicate and repair conflict, and fidelity.

And then there are negotiables.

These are things you may differ on, such as communication styles, routines, expectations, social preferences, or how to spend your downtime, but you work together to find something that honors both people.


Healthy relationships require compromise.

But compromise does not mean abandoning your values or repeatedly accepting something that hurts you, makes you feel less than, or compromises who you are.

So instead of asking “Am I asking for too much?”

Try asking:

“Is this a need, a preference, or a boundary?”
“Is this one of my non-negotiables or is there room for both our needs to be met?”
“Am I expecting perfection or am I asking for consistency and effort?”

The goal is to build a relationship where both people can feel seen, heard, respected, and safe being themselves. Sometimes the question isn’t whether you are asking for too much, but whether the relationship is able or willing to provide.

When your child comes to you upset, your instinct may be to solve the problem. You hear something is wrong and immediate...
09/01/2026

When your child comes to you upset, your instinct may be to solve the problem. You hear something is wrong and immediately begin thinking about how to make it better. Sometimes, though, what sounds like a problem to solve is actually an emotion asking to be understood.

Validation communicates that you hear your child's emotional experience and understand where their feelings are coming from. It focuses on understanding the emotion behind your child's experience, even when you see the situation differently. A child who says, “Nobody wanted to sit with me at lunch,” may not be asking you to figure out where they should sit tomorrow. They may be telling you, “I felt left out.” A validating response might sound like, “That really hurt. You wanted to feel included.”

A solution addresses the problem. Validation acknowledges the emotion. Feeling understood can change what a child is ready to hear next. Once they feel heard, they're often in a better place to talk about what comes next.

The next time your child brings you a problem, listen for what they may be trying to
communicate underneath it. Before offering a solution, ask yourself, “What is my child trying to get me to understand?” Sometimes the most helpful response begins by showing them that you hear them.

Have you ever had a reaction that felt almost immediate, your heart started racing, your body tensed, your words came ou...
08/27/2026

Have you ever had a reaction that felt almost immediate, your heart started racing, your body tensed, your words came out sharper than you intended, or suddenly you just needed to get away?

You may have experienced an amygdala hijack.

The amygdala plays an important role in detecting potential threats. When your brain perceives danger whether physical, emotional, or psychological; it can activate your nervous system’s fight-or-flight response before your thinking brain has had time to fully assess what is happening.

You may notice:

Racing heart or rapid breathing
Muscle tension or feeling on edge
Sweating, shaking, or feeling hot
Panic or a sense of urgency
Irritability, anger, urge to defend yourself
Wanting to withdraw, isolate, or shut down


In these moments, it may feel like your emotions are in control.
And sometimes, the reaction doesn't make sense in the moment.
But your body is not failing you, it is trying to protect you.
This is why regulation matters.

The goal is to create enough safety and space for your nervous system to settle so your thinking brain can come back online and you can respond intentionally.

Pause. Breathe. Notice what is happening in your body. Give yourself a moment before responding.

Sometimes, regulation needs to come before responding.

Understanding your nervous system can be the first step toward responding with more intention and compassion.

Before children can consistently regulate themselves, they often need to experience regulation alongside someone else. T...
08/26/2026

Before children can consistently regulate themselves, they often need to experience regulation alongside someone else. This process is called co-regulation, and it plays an important role in how children develop their own emotional regulation skills.

Co-regulation is defined as “warm and responsive interactions that provide the support, coaching, and modeling children need to ‘understand, express, and modulate their thoughts, feelings, and behaviors’” (Gillespie, 2015, p. 94).

Children begin looking to trusted adults for cues early in life. Think about a young child who falls and immediately looks toward their caregiver. The adult’s response gives the child information about what happened and how to respond. As children grow, they continue learning how to respond to emotions by watching how trusted adults respond to their own.

What can co-regulation look like?

▪️ Check in with yourself first. Notice your own emotional response and take a moment to steady yourself before responding.
▪️ Stay present and steady. Your tone, body language, and presence can communicate that big emotions are manageable.
▪️Meet the emotion with understanding. Acknowledge what your child is experiencing and communicate that you can stay with them through it.
▪️ Guide them toward a skill. When they are ready, encourage them to use a regulation strategy they have practiced.
▪️ Give them time. Stay alongside them as their emotions settle and they regain access to their own regulation skills.

Your ability to regulate becomes part of how your child learns to regulate. Each experience of co-regulation gives them an opportunity to experience what moving through a big emotion can look and feel like. Over time, the regulation they experience alongside you becomes something they learn to practice for themselves.

Resource: Gillespie, L. G. (2015). It takes two: The role of co-regulation in building self-regulation skills. Young Children, 70(3), 94–96

Hope looks different for everyone. Whether you find strength in your faith, your loved ones, your community, or simply t...
08/25/2026

Hope looks different for everyone. Whether you find strength in your faith, your loved ones, your community, or simply the belief that brighter days are ahead, moments of encouragement can help us navigate life's challenges. We hope these songs offer comfort, hope, and a reminder that you don't have to face difficult seasons alone. 🎶🎧

Follow us on Spotify:
https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3TlCtPjZd2jZ3LF8LJ56SR?si=3CQ5C-y_TQKQGfah080lrw

Children often have more knowledge than they're able to use in the middle of a bigemotion. When they're overwhelmed, it ...
08/20/2026

Children often have more knowledge than they're able to use in the middle of a big
emotion. When they're overwhelmed, it can be difficult to access the thinking and
problem-solving skills they already have. Emotional regulation helps children slow down so they can think more clearly and use those skills.

Once children are thinking more clearly, they're better able to work through the situation. Sometimes calming emotions is all that's needed. Other times, children are ready to solve the problem. Emotional regulation also gives children the opportunity to reflect on what happened, helping them learn from the experience and approach similar situations differently in the future.

The next time your child is upset, focus on helping them regulate their emotions before jumping into solutions. Once they're ready, guide them in thinking through the problem instead of solving it for them. Over time, children begin using those same skills independently, helping them become more thoughtful, confident problem-solvers.

Grief doesn’t always ask for our attention. Sometimes, we give it everything we have to avoid it.We often suppress, dist...
08/19/2026

Grief doesn’t always ask for our attention. Sometimes, we give it everything we have to avoid it.

We often suppress, distract, or stay busy when emotions feel too heavy. Sometimes that is how we survive. We have to keep going. We have people to care for. Life still needs our attention. And sometimes, feeling the loss feels too painful to face.

But grief doesn’t always disappear because we push it away.

It may show up as sadness, anger, anxiety, numbness, confusion, exhaustion, or feeling disconnected from the life around you. You may find yourself thinking about the past or feeling uncertain about the future.

So, how can you begin to cope with grief?

🤍 Make space for what you’re feeling. You don’t have to understand or fix every emotion. Sometimes simply acknowledging it is enough.

🤍 Practice self-compassion. Grief takes energy. Give yourself permission to move more slowly and care for yourself along the way.

🤍 Let yourself be supported. Reach for trusted family, friends, or a mental health professional. You do not have to carry this alone.

🤍 Create some routine. Simple routines can offer a sense of grounding and normalcy when so much feels different.

And remember: healing from loss does not mean forgetting, letting go, or “moving on.”

Sometimes healing means learning how to make room for the loss while continuing to live.

If grief feels overwhelming or begins interfering with your ability to function and live your life, reaching out to a therapist can be a meaningful place to start.

You don’t have to carry it alone. 🤍

Not all grief begins and ends with a goodbye. Sometimes we suppress grief because of the demands of life; to survive. W...
08/14/2026

Not all grief begins and ends with a goodbye.

Sometimes we suppress grief because of the demands of life; to survive. We push through or avoid our loss and our pain to appear fine, to comfort others, or to return to a sense of normalcy.

For some, survivorship may mean acceptance of what was endured, and for others it might mean not wanting to acknowledge or process the difficult emotions, but to move on.

Survivorship is often invisible. For most, survivorship is the unconscious choice we make to keep ourselves safe and our nervous system regulated. There may be an expectation or assumption that you should simply move on because the crisis or hardship had passed. Yet healing is rarely that simple. Healing involves not only surviving the event but rebuilding your identity, relationships, and sense of safety.

Grief doesn't just disappear; it waits.

Healing does not mean forgetting what happened, pretending the pain no longer exists, or minimizing your experience. Instead, healing involves acknowledging your emotions, meeting yourself where you are at, honoring what was lost while creating space for new meaning, relationships, and possibilities.

Therapy can provide a space to process the complexity of survivorship. Together, you can explore difficult emotions, rebuild trust in yourself and others, process trauma, and develop coping strategies that support moving forward while honoring your experience.

If you are grieving the person you once were or the life you expected to have, know that your grief is valid. Surviving something life-changing does not erase the losses. Both gratitude and grief can exist together. Acknowledging both is an important step toward healing.

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390 E Devon Avenue, Ste 201
Roselle, IL
60172

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