Joe Kort

06/06/2026

People want simple rules about cheating, but relationships are rarely that simple.

In this clip, Dan Savage talks about the gray areas that can exist in long-term relationships, especially when s*x, caregiving, illness, money, children, and unmet needs are all part of the picture.

This does not mean cheating is harmless or that secrecy is ideal. It means “just leave” is not always realistic advice.

Dan and I talk about why couples need more honest conversations about monogamy, desire, and what they are actually agreeing to.

Watch the full Smart S*x Smart Love conversation with Dan Savage, linked in my bio.

06/05/2026

VICE recently quoted me in an article about the health benefits of m@sturbation.

Let me say it again: m@sturbation is s//xual health.

Too many people still treat m@sturbation as something embarrassing, unhealthy, or less valid than partnered s//x. I don't see it that way. It can be a healthy part of your s//xual life whether you're single, partnered, or somewhere in between.

The problem isn't m@sturbation. The problem is the shame.

What were the positive and negative messages you received and/or heard about m@sturbation growing up?

Full article linked in bio.

https://www.vice.com/en/article/4-actual-health-benefits-of-masturbation-that-deserve-to-be-said-out-loud/

06/04/2026

Happy Pride Month.

As a gay psychotherapist, I have spent my career helping people move from shame to self-acceptance. Pride reminds us that authenticity matters and that no one should have to hide who they are to feel safe, loved, or valued.

Whether you're LGBTQ+ or an ally, I hope this month encourages more understanding, compassion, and acceptance for ourselves and each other.

05/29/2026

The words people use to describe themselves are personal.

For some, the word que*r feels affirming, freeing, and expansive. For others, it still carries the pain of being bullied, shamed, or called that word as a slur.

In this clip, I talk with Michael Pezzullo about gay identity, the word q***r, and why labels are not simply generational. They are personal. Everyone deserves the right to choose the language that fits them, and to have that language respected.

Watch the full Smart S*x Smart Love conversation with Michael Pezzullo, linked in my bio.

05/27/2026

I’m a psychotherapist and a content creator because I believe in psychoeducation. Let’s be clear: psychoeducation is not therapy, and it is not a replacement for therapy. It is therapeutic but not actual therapy. It can help people learn, reflect, ask better questions, feel less alone, and understand parts of themselves or their relationships in a new way.

Many people, including therapists, believe that therapists should be creating social media content. However, many of us are doing thoughtful, ethical, clinically grounded work.

I have heard from many people who say, “I can’t afford therapy, but your content helped me understand what I’m going through.” That matters to me. I do let them know that it does not replace therapy. I educate. I clarify. I challenge shame. I offer language for things many people have never had words for.

So yes, I will continue creating content as a psychotherapist, because good psychoeducation belongs online as well as books and webinars.

05/26/2026

Sometimes the “other woman” in a gay man’s relationship is his mother. I know that can sound provocative, but I see it often. If your mother relied on you emotionally, treated you like her confidant, leaned on you like a partner, or made you responsible for her happiness, you may have learned to confuse love with caretaking. Then, in adult relationships, you may feel guilty choosing your partner, telling the truth, setting boundaries, or living your own life. Ask yourself: “Am I loving my mother, or am I still emotionally married to her?” Separating from your mother does not mean rejecting her. It means becoming your own man.

05/22/2026

New video out now: Not Everyone Experiences Childhood Ab*se as Trauma — breaking down the difference between abuse and trauma, why not every person experiences lasting dysfunction from childhood abuse, and why therapists must listen to each person’s story without imposing one narrative.

In this video, I explore why childhood abuse is always abuse and should never happen, while also explaining why trauma does not show up the same way for everyone. I also talk about how some clients understand their own experiences differently, why that can feel unsettling to hear, and why clinical conversations need room for nuance, compassion, and clarity.

Watch the full video on YouTube linked in my bio and let me know your thoughts in the comments.

05/22/2026

Childhood abuse is always abuse, and it should never happen. But not everyone experiences abuse as trauma in the same way, and that can be difficult or unsettling to hear. Some people remember it as horrific and painful, while others may not describe it as traumatic or experience lasting dysfunction from it. The goal is not to minimize abuse, but to understand each person’s story without forcing one narrative onto everyone.

Link to the full video in bio.

05/22/2026

New YouTube video just dropped: Not Everyone Experiences Childhood Ab*se as Trauma — breaking down the difference between abuse and trauma, why not every person experiences lasting dysfunction from childhood abuse, and why therapists must listen to each person’s story without imposing one narrative.

In this video, I talk about why childhood s*xual abuse is always abuse, but not every person experiences it as trauma. I’m Dr. Joe Kort, a psychotherapist an...

05/21/2026

Throwback Thursday in honor of M@asturbation Month. I had Alex De La Cruz on Smart S*x, Smart Love to talk about liberating yourself from m@asturbation shame, and it was such an important conversation.

M@asturbation is not “less than” s//x. It is s//x. It is self-connection, self-soothing, pleasure, exploration, and for many people, it is their preferred erotic life.

Too many people are taught that “real s//x” has to mean in*******se. I do not believe that. M@asturbation is s*xual enough. Being a side is s*xual enough.

This month, I want people to stop shaming themselves for how they experience pleasure. Your erotic life does not have to look like anyone else’s to be valid. Shame disconnects us from our bodies. Curiosity brings us back.

Link to listen to the full podcast in bio.