08/16/2026
My biggest break through in parenting was learning that kids don't need "kid things"...they need to be part of the family and by labeling things for kids, teaches them that they're separate..
That doesn't mean i got rid of all the toys... that means, i started curating my life to include my kids.. my almost three year old helps me do everything...regardless of how frustrating it is, knowing that I could get it done so much faster...
If I choose to do it myself, I'm teaching her that her help isn't needed... that playing is her job, instead of being part of the family.
I know it sounds contradicting...but raising two younger kids, verses my older kids.. i am noticing how my control over how things are done.. taught them to ignore them.. it taught them that nothing needed to be done because mom would do it all.
As i learned, experienced and grew.. i was led to a parenting book that changed my perspective on how I parent my kids..
My younger two are fresh slates compared to my older kids... and its night and day..
My toddler immediately starts putting dishes away if the dishwasher is opened..
She always wants to cook, and I let her..
Her newest saying is, "I do it" and I reply with, "Yes, you do it." Thats how she learns to be a human... how to sustain herself, how to problem solve, and naturally do the things that need done.. without being told..
She knows how to do laundry and I've caught her starting her own loads.. they might be empty but the point stands...
As Americans, we've been taught efficiency is key to productivity.. so the frustration of a toddler trying to help, contradicts what we've been trained to believe.. it makes it frustrating, difficult and overwhelming.. because we were raised as "the kid" and then "the teenager" then "the adult" .... never... the human...
As a generation raising the next, we are actively dismantling so many unhealthy methods of raising our kids...and this was mine.
Thanks for staying with me.