Happy Couples Healthy Communities

08/23/2026

A screenshot from my Virtual Level 2 Clinical Training in Gottman Method Couple Therapy August 20-22 with clinicians from Comprehensive Counseling.

08/10/2026

08/06/2026

Why do you fight the way you do? Where do your beliefs about conflict come from? What’s your “fighting style,” and how does it mesh (or not) with your partner’s?
Research has shown that there are three possible “conflict styles” within a healthy partnership: avoiding, validating, and volatile.

07/26/2026

Screenshots from my Virtual Level 3 Clinical Training in Gottman Method Couples Therapy for National Marriage Seminars this weekend. A big thank you to my colleague and new Advanced Clinical Trainer Sheil Addison for roving!

07/23/2026

Repair is any statement or action that attempts to prevent negativity from escalating out of control. In relationship interaction, making repair attempts is a great skill. One aspect of repair is learning how to put on the brakes when you and your partner are in a negative cycle.

07/14/2026

In more than four decades of research with over 3000 couples, Dr. John Gottman found that emotionally intelligent couples are intimately familiar with each other's world. He calls this having a richly detailed love map—his term for that part of the brain where you store all the relevant information about your partner's life. Another way to say this is that they have made plenty of cognitive room for their marriage. They remember the major events in each other's history, and they keep updating their information as the facts and feelings of their spouse's world change.

06/25/2026

As a marriage and family therapist, I have become increasingly aware of the problem with p**n and the adverse effect of p**n on intimate relationships. The problem with p**n (in addition to moral considerations) is that it is impersonal, anti-romantic, and objectifying.

06/21/2026

Happy Father’s Day to all fathers, stepfathers, grandfathers, and father figures who make a difference in the lives of their families each day!

06/19/2026

As parents, we all want to raise good humans. Part of raising good human beings is navigating difficult subjects, such as racism and violence against people of color in America. Talking about racism may make many of us uncomfortable, but we can’t solve a problem if we can’t talk about it. Racism thrives in silence. Our children need to hear from us what we know to be right—and what we know to be wrong.

06/18/2026

Attuned communication in everyday life is necessary to maintain any relationship and can prevent disagreements from even starting. You can apply these conversational skills on your own without your partner knowing it, but the more you work together on the process, the better.