06/08/2026
Educational Monday
This question has always intrigued me: What happens when we lose sight of another's humanity?
At its most extreme, this loss of sight lies at the heart of many crimes, acts of violence, and injustices. But it also appears in ordinary moments—in conflicts, disagreements, and relationships strained by hurt, fear, or anger. What happens when we stop seeing another person as a human being with thoughts, feelings, needs, and experiences of their own? What happens when we begin to see them instead as obstacles to our desires, threats to our safety, or objects to control?
When I reflect on the times I have lost sight of another's humanity, I notice my body harden—not just my heart, but my limbs, chest, and abdomen. My thinking becomes rigid, and I grow emotionally defensive. I am no longer curious about the other person's experience or open to their thoughts, feelings, and perspective. My attention narrows until it is focused almost entirely on my own needs, fears, and desires.
As I reflect on this, I realize that I am describing a protective state in the nervous system.
When our nervous systems perceive a threat, our world becomes smaller. Our awareness narrows to what seems necessary for survival. In that state, compassion, curiosity, and connection become harder to access. We become less grounded in our values and more driven by self-protection.
Our nervous systems are designed to keep us safe, but they can also react to things that are not truly dangerous—such as a disagreement or the experience of being misunderstood. It is vital to notice when our nervous systems are responding to another person as if they are a threat and to ask whether that response is accurate. If it is not, then we must help our nervous systems move from a state of protection into a state of connection.
Each of us experiences the world through a nervous system shaped by a lifetime of experiences. When we understand this in ourselves and in others, we can respond to difficult situations with greater wisdom and take things less personally. We can also learn to give our nervous systems cues of safety that help us stay connected to our own humanity and to the humanity of others.
