08/10/2026
Maybe clouds are there for a reason. āļø
Iāve had a super bad postural migraine sinceā¦ Friday thatās caused nausea and dizziness after a weird neuro flare where the right side of my body went numb / had weakness instead of the left side.
Saturday I started a new medication, and I canāt tell if itās the migraine getting worse or if itās the symptoms my doctors warned me might happen.
But me and my bed have been best friends. š
Emotionally, Iāve been trying to deal with things in the past, and trying to prepare for things in the future.
(Like my pelvic MRI is this week, and we will finally know what type of tumors I have in my uterus / whatās causing all this painā¦ and Iām just waiting for a phone call to tell me itās time to start IVIG again.)
And I feel like Iāve been going through the motions instead of fully living in the moment.
Maybe itās because I physically feel so crappy. Maybe itās because my brain and my life are filled with soo much right now.
But as someone who easily soaks up the sun, all I have been seeing are clouds.
And itās been driving me up the wall.
I love bright, beautiful, sunny days, physically and metaphorically.
I love those moments where life is so good you look up to God and just say the humble prayer of, āThank you,ā because you genuinely, genuinely mean it.
But I think during this ridiculously painful period of my life, Iām being taught thatā¦
Sometimes clouds are necessary.
Yes, they block the sun for a while. Sometimes they bring storms. Sometimes they make everything feel darker than it did before.
But clouds arenāt inherently bad.
They bring rain. They carry the water that eventually nourishes the earth and helps things grow.
Theyāre part of a necessary cycle. Water evaporates, gathers into clouds, falls as rain, and eventually begins the cycle again.
The cloud isnāt the destination.
Itās simply a stage in the process.
And sometimes, you truly donāt appreciate the sunlight quite as much until something interrupts it.
The contrast you experience can make any ounce of light feel even more beautiful.
The most beautiful truth about it all is that even the darkest clouds move.
Storms pass.
What feels heavy and overwhelming today doesnāt necessarily stay forever.
(Even when you have a life-threatening illness or a life-changing event happen. Your situation may not change, but you do, and that in fact changes the situation.)
Sometimes a cloud has to become unbelievably heavy before it can let go and rain.
Maybe hard things are a little like that.
Feeling grief, anger, fear, sadness, or pain doesnāt necessarily mean something has gone wrong, that you need to have more faith, or that youāre morally failing.
Sometimes feeling those things is necessary.
Sometimes we have to sit beneath the clouds for a while before we can understand what theyāre carrying.
The goal isnāt to live under a permanently blue sky.
Maybe the goal is to learn that cloudy days have a purpose, too.
Because clouds arenāt something we can fight.
Some clouds bring the rain we need to grow. āļøš§ļøš±
