Nicholas Wilkens, Ph.D.

08/26/2026

I have dreaded this day. I didn't feel it would happen for another ten years, at least. I'm having a hard time coming up with another public figure who exuded so much joy, kindness, dedication, humor and humility, and who was, by all accounts and reports, endlessly authentic, sharp, faithful and humble. And so much more. We project on to people we admire the most qualities that we value most that we have within us, sometimes deep and imperceptibly within us, and can only become the best version of ourselves when we are able to live them out. Having role models who may be higher profile but still accessible is critical. We desperately need such shared role models. I put Fred Rogers into this uppermost echelon of character and compassion, transcendent of politics and age, as well. Who would you put up there? Who is still with us?

08/11/2026

06/24/2026

Hurry Kills Presence.
Worry Kills Peace.
Doubt Kills Faith.
Ego Kills Love.
(Now Read That Right To Left).

06/11/2026

Facing a decision that's keeping you up at night? This article is for you.

Struggling with overthinking or decision anxiety? Learn why making decisions feels so hard and how to trust yourself again with practical, therapist-backed insights.

06/01/2026

What if the reason you still haven't changed isn't because you don't know better—but because the voice telling you what you "should" do is actually getting in the way?

Learn how “should statements” in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) can create guilt, shame, and avoidance. Discover how shifting from self-criticism to motivation leads to lasting change.

05/07/2026

I had a client send me this video earlier this week based on what our last session was about. I have never watched Prison Break so didn't know who Wentworth Miller was, but boy is he compelling when he explains how critical self-talk is to our mind, body, and spirit.

Source: Wentworth Miller | Full Q&A | Oxford Union (published 17.10.2016)https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TfWqONqTao4&t=2398sI don´t own any rights!

04/24/2026

There is nothing new under the sun. Ecclesiastes 1:9

04/10/2026

Try this rule in your next argument: you can’t respond until your partner says, “Yes—that’s exactly what I mean.”
It’s harder than it sounds—and far more effective:

Struggling with the same arguments? Learn a powerful couples therapy exercise that helps partners feel understood, reduce conflict, and rebuild connection. Offered by San Antonio Discernment Counseling.

03/26/2026

What if denial isn’t always the problem?

Early in my career working with abused children, I noticed something that didn’t sit right with me.

Well-meaning adults often pushed kids to “talk about what happened”—assuming that if they weren’t, they were in denial.

But many of those kids were actually stabilizing.
And pushing too soon didn’t help—it overwhelmed them.

That stayed with me.

Years later, I researched denial more deeply and found something surprising:

👉 In many cases, denial isn’t dysfunction.
👉 It’s protection.

Sometimes the mind paces reality so we don’t take on more than we can handle.

So instead of asking,
“Why aren’t they facing it?”
We might ask,
“Are they ready?”

I wrote more about this here:

Is denial always unhealthy? Learn how denial can sometimes protect us during overwhelming experiences and when it may signal the need for support.