09/09/2026
When someone has unhealed emotional wounds, they don't hear the intent of your words, they hear what you are saying through the lens of their past pain.
Here’s how that usually looks in real life:
Sharing news: You mention having a blast at a party. They hear: "I had a great time without you."
Giving feedback: You offer a gentle, helpful thought. They hear: "You're not good enough."
Going quiet: You get busy and don't text back right away. They hear: "I'm pulling away and abandoning you."
When an over-reaction happens to a neutral event, you can know you are bumping right into an old, unhealed wound.
And here’s the tough part: people don't like walking on eggshells. And most people won't bring it up when they have a challenging interaction with us, and most won’t give feedback about it either, they’ll just quietly drift away.
The friendship peters out, and the person carrying the triggers is left wondering what happened.
Unpacking those old wounds with a professional and learning to manage our over- reactions isn't just self-care—it’s how we make it safe for the people we care about, to want to stay close to us.
Which one of these situations have you experienced? Feel free to comment below.
