Dr Kristin Zeising Clinical Psychologist Certified Sex Therapist

08/30/2026

A really meaningful evening talking with a group of women about s*xuality in midlife.

So many women worry that a change in desire means something has gone wrong. But s*xuality is not static. Our bodies change, our relationships change, our lives change, and what creates desire can change too.

The goal is not always to get back to how things used to be. Sometimes it’s about discovering what works for us now.

The more openly we can talk about how s*xuality changes, the more space we create for curiosity, possibility, and pleasure.

05/06/2026

A lot of midlife women don’t need more pressure, better performance, or another thing to “fix.”

They need space to come back to themselves.

Lately I’ve been thinking a lot about how years of overriding the body by staying productive, agreeable, responsible and constantly managing everything, can quietly disconnect women from pleasure, desire, and aliveness.

Reading Whole Body S*x in Costa Rica has me reflecting on how much somatic s*x therapy is really about learning to listen to the body again instead of constantly pushing past it.

Sometimes desire isn’t absent.
Sometimes it’s buried underneath exhaustion, tension, and self-abandonment.

And that’s a very different conversation.

*xTherapy

03/28/2026

03/26/2026

Pleasure does not have an expiration date!

03/23/2026

What would change if you trusted your yes… and honored your no - when it comes to your body, your desire, and your s*x life?

03/02/2026

Calling a breakup a “failed relationship” assumes the goal was endurance at all costs.

What if the real failure is staying past the point of respect, attraction, or alignment?

I see couples every week who think the presence of conflict means something is broken. In reality, conflict is often the invitation to grow - either together or apart.

A relationship can be deeply meaningful and still not be forever.

Maturity isn’t measured by how long you stayed.
It’s measured by whether you stayed true to yourself.

When I was a graduate student studying the psychology of romantic relationships, I read many papers that described breakups as “failed relationships.” They implied that the end of a relationship is necessarily a bad thing because a good relationship is supposed to last forever. This kind of language also suggests that the partners just didn’t try hard enough—they “failed” to figure things out.

However, breaking up doesn’t always mean that people involved made the wrong decision. Sometimes, breakup is the right call—and if the relationship wasn’t in a good place, ending it creates new opportunities. Also, staying in a relationship doesn’t necessarily mean you’ve succeeded, especially if you’re not happy or the relationship isn’t really working.

The “failed relationship” language is emblematic of some of the problematic assumptions built into a lot of academic research on relationships, including the idea that longer relationships are inherently better, that *any* relationship can work if you try hard enough, and that shorter relationships just have less value and meaning.

It’s time to rethink the way breakup is discussed!

*xed *xandpsychology