09/30/2026
Happy birthday, Steph, our queen of the dawn.
Who’s already coaching while we’re still mid yawn.
A decade at ATR, building her crew.
A slightly concerning cult following, too.
They crawl out of bed while the moon’s shining bright.
To let Steph ruin their legs before daylight.
Is it coaching? Devotion? Some secret decree?
Whatever she’s selling, they’re there at 5:03.
White Monsters disappear at a frightening rate.
We assume a sponsorship’s coming… they’re late.
No Kool-Aid required for this loyal team.
Their cult leader runs on a white-can regime.
Then there’s Arturo, our demon in residence.
Whose arguments rarely survive Steph’s evidence.
They’ll fight over games, reps, or a cue.
If arguing burned calories, we’d lose those two.
She works out so long we should charge her rent.
Then sneaks in more squats when her energy’s spent.
The gym closes down, but she’s still on the floor.
“Just one more set!” We’ve heard that before.
Her dog gets the cuddles, the love, and the praise.
The rest of us get, “You can pick up the pace”
She runs Instagram with a critical eye.
And last year my birthday post didn’t fly.
365 days to recover…
So this year I put her on a magazine cover.
But under the caffeine, opinions, and sass.
Is a coach who brings everything into her class.
Ten years making people believe they belong.
Helping our community grow brave and strong.
So happy birthday, Steph you absolute treasure.
Our love for you’s bigger than workouts can measure.
Hopefully this post meets your standards this year…
If not, write your own, you run Instagram here. 😂🧡💛💙
