06/28/2025
I was in my own therapy session a few years back, I might’ve just finished grad school, & we were in the midst of working on some deeply rooted childhood trauma. I remember we talked about how I had not really known just true childlike joy because I had not really experienced a lot of joy growing up. Of course there were moments that were fun & exciting, happy even…but not joy, only survival. She gently challenged me to practice living in the moment while doing something I enjoyed & really lean in to embrace it. Truthfully, I have no idea what that actually meant.
I remember going to Disneyland with a friend of mine & we were on this same ride shown in the video, it was night time around the holidays. We were coming up to the highest point where the ride just zooms past everything, I lifted my arms & I closed my eyes. The wind was cold, refreshing & I just paused. I started to laugh more than I ever did in my life & then just sobbed as my face hurt from smiling so much! I’m actually crying as I write this. It was in that moment that I realized that this must be what it meant to feel childlike joy. My friend asked if I was OK when we exited the ride & I remember saying “I’m more OK than I ever felt in my life.”
I couldn’t wait to go back to share with her in my next session about what I experienced & I told her a part of me healed that night.
My therapist smiled & she asked me to bring that image back into my mind & try to feel what I felt that night. I smiled & I cried while feeling more of that same joy. She reminded me that I can come back to that moment every single time, whenever I needed it.
I learned that at any moment I can bring myself into the spaces that make me feel safe or happy or joyful as a child. I just need to be willing to take that pause. I sometimes forget.
🌱 in the midst of chaos and calamity, it is so easy to forget how to connect to self in moments we need it the most.
🌱 I invite you to put in the comments a memory that makes you feel joy when you take a pause & remember it.
