10/06/2026
This post is for parents trying to help their child build a positive identity around a PDA or autism diagnosis. While experts often make these approaches sound simple, reality can be much more complex. For my son, building felt safety, capacity, and connection was essential before we could even begin these conversations.
As my son 8-year-old grows, I’ve been reflecting on how to support him in developing a positive self-identity. From what I’ve learned from the adult neurodivergent community, understanding your neurotype is so critical to mental health and overall well-being. In a world that is not set up for PDAer’s needs, seeing your neurotype as much as possible as a difference rather than a deficit matters, and is how we talk about neurodiversity in our family. Because my son is a highly visual learner, using books, social stories, and visual tools has been key to scaffolding our discussions—and I’ve been amazed by his genuine interest in exploring this topic.
A major roadblock for us early on was readiness. Kids need a baseline amount of regulation, interest, and bandwidth to engage. Over the summer, when the pressures of school and camp were removed, we finally had the space to dig in. Previously, even with Ross Greene-inspired approaches, his nervous system was simply too overloaded, and he might not have had the self-awareness and connection to engage. Even now, on days when his capacity is low, asking questions often leads to "I don't know," signaling it’s time to pause and lower demands.
When he does have the bandwidth, curated, highly visual resources have sparked rich, meaningful conversations. A few favorites we rely on include the ones in the clip here as well as ’s "Telling Your Child They Are Autistic" and "My Mental Battery," as well as Dr. Angoff’s resource spreadsheet via .
Do you have any favorite resources for talking with your kids about their diagnosis or neurotype?
