Jay Reid Psychotherapy

Home
United States
San Francisco, CA
Jay Reid Psychotherapy

Call Directions Website Contact the practice

Welcome to my page. I am a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor (LPCC #4195). My license is under my formal name Jack James Reid.

11/01/2026

What happens when a parent takes credit for the very qualities they taught you to believe you don't have?

In some narcissistic family dynamics, a parent may claim the positive qualities of their scapegoated child while portraying the child as lacking those same qualities.

A naturally kind and conscientious child, for example, may be described as selfish or inconsiderate, while the parent presents themselves as generous and responsible.

This process is known as extractive introjection.

Over time, the child may struggle to recognize and take ownership of their own goodness, leaving them feeling empty or disconnected from their strengths.

You may have spent years believing you lacked qualities that were actually part of you all along.

Learning to recognize what is genuinely yours can be an important part of reclaiming your sense of self. 🤍

10/31/2026

What if the feelings of worthlessness you carry were never yours to begin with?

In some narcissistic family dynamics, a parent may unconsciously project their own unwanted feelings of worthlessness onto their scapegoated child.

Through repeated criticism, devaluation, emotional deprivation, and control, the child may begin to internalize the message that something is fundamentally wrong with them.

They may eventually believe that their parent's mistreatment is something they deserve.

But being treated poorly doesn't mean you deserved it.

Understanding how these beliefs developed can help you begin separating your own sense of self from the painful messages you received growing up.

You don't have to keep carrying the shame that was placed on you. 🤍

10/30/2026

Adult scapegoat survivors may apologize before they know what they did wrong, and expect others to find them offensive.

Behind this is a distortion installed in childhood: the belief that the way they love others is harmful.

A narcissistic parent can need someone else to be the villain so they don’t have to feel like one. The scapegoat child is the one cast in that role.

In today’s video I explain why a narcissistic parent needs a villain, the specific ways the child gets framed as one, and four consequences the child can carry into adulthood.

I also describe how the inverse of each one is what’s true, and how relationships where both people get to be the hero in their own lives can let that villainous feeling lift.

I dropped the full video in the top comment ⬇️

10/29/2026

What happens when a parent expects you to think, feel, and want exactly what they want?

For the scapegoat child of a narcissistic parent, having personal wishes and preferences may feel unacceptable. The parent treats the child as an extension of themselves rather than as a separate person with their own inner world.

Over time, the child may learn to disconnect from their own wants, opinions, and preferences just to maintain the relationship.

As an adult, you might struggle to answer simple questions like, “What do I actually want?” or “What makes me happy?”

You are allowed to have wishes, preferences, and opinions of your own.

You don't have to keep living according to someone else's expectations to prove your worth. 🤍

10/28/2026

What if you’re capable of more than you allow yourself to believe?

For the scapegoat child of a narcissistic parent, growing up can mean internalizing painful beliefs: “Something is wrong with me” and “I’m less important than others.”

Over time, these beliefs can make it difficult to recognize your own strengths as part of who you are.

You may function well at work, maintain meaningful relationships, and accomplish things others appreciate—yet still struggle to acknowledge your own abilities.

It’s not always that you lack confidence or capability. Sometimes, recognizing your strengths conflicts with what you learned to believe about yourself.

You can be capable and still struggle to believe those capabilities belong to you.

Healing can begin with understanding why it feels so difficult to see yourself clearly. 🤍

10/25/2026

Why do the good memories come back first, even when you know your parent hurt you?

When you depended on a parent for survival, acknowledging their cruelty can feel like losing them all over again. You may remember their charming moments while struggling to make sense of the pain they caused.

Have you ever felt guilty for seeing your parent differently than you did as a child?

10/24/2026

When a child depends on the person hurting them, survival can mean learning to deny their own reality.

They may blame themselves, suppress their needs, and numb their feelings just to preserve the relationship. Over time, their parent’s needs can become more important than their own identity.

Did you grow up feeling like you had to abandon parts of yourself to keep the peace?

10/23/2026

Adult scapegoat survivors may find that anything requiring effort feels like a chore – even what they’re good at. Praise doesn’t sink in, and their abilities don’t feel like their own.

In today’s video I explain three ways a narcissistic parent can lead the scapegoat child to disown what they’re good at: treating the child as an extension of themselves, relocating their own worthlessness into the child, and claiming the child’s good qualities as their own.

I also describe how relationships that honor all of who they are can make it safer to experience their strengths as their own.

I dropped the full video in the top comment ⬇️

10/22/2026

A scapegoat child may be made to carry the very feelings their parent refuses to face.

Through cruelty, blame, and domination, a narcissistic parent can make the child appear weak or inadequate while avoiding those feelings in themselves. Over time, this pattern can become a cycle of control.

Did you grow up feeling blamed for things that were never yours to carry?

10/21/2026

You can know your parent hurt you and still struggle to believe they could have been cruel.

For scapegoat survivors, the need to believe in a loving parent can persist long after childhood. Your mind may recognize the abuse while your heart still searches for a kinder explanation.

Have you ever struggled to reconcile what you know with what you still feel about your parent?

Address

381 Bush Street , Ste 503
San Francisco, CA
94104

Telephone

+14159443628

Website

http://jreidtherapy.com/

Alerts

Be the first to know and let us send you an email when Jay Reid Psychotherapy posts news and promotions. Your email address will not be used for any other purpose, and you can unsubscribe at any time.