Angela Schellenberg Counseling/ Coaching

Angela Schellenberg Counseling/ Coaching Angela is a mental health Trauma, Grief, and Loss Therapist , LMHC. Mother Hunger Facilitator

08/26/2026

Ever wonder if animals can sense what lies beneath the surface of our emotional lives? This powerful perspective reveals how horses act as mirrors, physically reflecting the deepest grief, exhaustion, or trauma held within a person’s nervous system.

It’s truly profound to witness: when a client carries heavy, unspoken burdens, the horse often displays that exact energy—whether through a sudden softening of their posture or, in extreme cases, by collapsing to the ground to match the weight of the grief. It’s not just animal behavior; it’s a silent, visceral conversation between species that validates the human experience in ways words often cannot.

07/30/2026

Talk therapy provides crucial understanding, but sometimes it takes something more to reach the deeper layers of trauma. This clip sheds light on why grief often surfaces unexpectedly during equine therapy—specifically when we reconnect with our younger, wounded selves. It’s a powerful reminder that healing isn't always about processing thoughts; sometimes, it’s about accessing the parts of us that words alone can't reach.

07/24/2026

Sometimes, a simple moment can hold up a mirror to the hardest truths of our lives.

When this woman went for equine therapy, she expected a calming experience. Instead, she was met with a horse that kept nipping at her—and a facilitator who asked a question that changed everything: Are you just going to stand there and take it?

That single, uncomfortable realization shattered her perspective on her own marriage. She saw a painful pattern of trying to fix the unfixable, constantly tweaking her own behavior to accommodate someone else’s abuse. It’s a powerful, raw look at how we often tolerate toxic situations, hoping for change while standing still in the biting.

This story is a poignant reminder that recognizing your boundaries—and realizing you don't have to just take it—is the first step toward reclaiming your life.

07/24/2026

Losing both parents by the age of 22 is an unimaginable heartbreak, yet this powerful story reveals how that immense loss often manifests in ways we never expect. After years of high-functioning survival and burying pain deep beneath the surface, the realization hit: grief isn't just an emotional state—it’s an attachment trauma that actually lives in the body. This insightful perspective challenges everything many believe about processing loss and moving forward. It’s a profound reminder that healing requires more than just getting over it; it requires addressing the physical and emotional scars left behind.

07/24/2026

Grief isn’t just about what happened—it’s about what didn’t happen.

There’s a profound connection between grief and trauma that often gets overlooked. Trauma isn’t solely defined by the events that take place; it’s shaped by the support that never arrived, the love that wasn't received, and the emotional connection that was suddenly severed. When attachment is broken, the ripple effects run deep.

This clip explores why grief acts as a traumatic imprint and how closing that loop requires looking at those missed moments of attunement. It’s a powerful perspective on healing, mirroring, and finding closure when the people or connections we needed most weren't there.

06/19/2026

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It’s OK if you don’t feel it in your body.Somatic work has become the default answer for almost everything in mental hea...
06/01/2026

It’s OK if you don’t feel it in your body.

Somatic work has become the default answer for almost everything in mental health right now, grief included. Calm the nervous system, release it from the body, and the loss is supposed to move. Some of grief does respond to that. The clenched jaw, the flat exhaustion, the alarm that goes off at a familiar smell. Calming that is real work and it brings relief.

But relief is not the same as a grief that has actually been processed. And the research on what moves grief points somewhere other than sensation.

The body-based trauma methods that dominate the conversation carry a thinner evidence base than their popularity suggests. A review of Somatic Experiencing found the results promising but rated the overall quality of the studies as mixed, calling for more rigorous trials.  In veterans, it has been described as having few rigorous studies and a limited evidence base. 

What has strong evidence in grief is the work of the story and the relationship. The first empirically validated treatment for complicated grief came out of Katherine Shear’s research,  and in the original trial about half of patients responded, compared with roughly a quarter in the comparison therapy.  A 2025 review of 30 randomized trials found cognitive behavioral approaches to be the most effective for prolonged grief, with trauma-focused methods like EMDR showing promise alongside them. 

There is a reason for this. Losing someone you were attached to disrupts the self-narrative you live inside,  and research on meaning reconstruction links the inability to make sense of a loss with more intense and prolonged grief.   The relationship has to be named and the story has to be told.

This is where body-only work stalls. The alarm goes quiet. The story stays frozen. And frozen grief does not stay quiet for long.

The grief that regulation cannot reach is almost always the grief you have never said out loud. A quieter body is a good start. It is not the end of the work.

Comment “worthy” for my free emotional healing kit.

Grief gets talked about like an emotion you move through. It’s also a physiological event.When you lose someone you were...
05/28/2026

Grief gets talked about like an emotion you move through. It’s also a physiological event.

When you lose someone you were attached to, you lose a person your nervous system relied on to feel safe. Neuroscience calls this co-regulation. For years their presence helped your body stay regulated. Their voice, their nearness, the rhythm of them. So when they’re gone, your system keeps searching for the input that used to steady it.

The insomnia. The racing heart. The hollow ache that has no words for it. Research links these to the brain’s stress and attachment systems, not to grieving wrong. This is also why distraction never resolves it. You cannot keep-busy your way out of a ruptured attachment bond.

Grief eases as your nervous system builds new anchors. Safe people. Steady routines. Places that hold a sense of ground for you.

You are not failing at grief. Your body is doing exactly what attachment was built to do.

Save this for a day you need the reminder.

griefjourney losingaparent traumahealing emdr griefandloss

I had the most incredible conversation with the amazing Lisa Keefauver on her podcast Grief is a Sneaky Bitch — and we w...
05/27/2026

I had the most incredible conversation with the amazing Lisa Keefauver on her podcast Grief is a Sneaky Bitch — and we went DEEP. 🖤

We talked about attachment, trauma, and grief — how our early wounds quietly shape everything: our relationships, our nervous systems, and how we show up in the world.

I shared my own personal journey and the transformative tools that have helped me (and my clients) move from surviving to truly healing. 💛

If any of this resonates with you, I'd love for you to give it a listen. 🎧

👇 DM me the word PODCAST and I'll send you the link directly!

had the most incredible conversation with the amazing Lisa Keefauver on her podcast Grief is a Sneaky Bitch — and we went DEEP. 🖤

We talked about attachment, trauma, and grief — how our early wounds quietly shape everything: our relationships, our nervous systems, and how we show up in the world.

I shared my own personal journey and the transformative tools that have helped me (and my clients) move from surviving to truly healing. 💛

If any of this resonates with you, I'd love for you to give it a listen. 🎧

👇 DM me the word PODCAST and I'll send you the link directly!

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Santa Monica, CA
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