Angela Schellenberg Counseling/ Coaching

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Angela Schellenberg Counseling/ Coaching Angela is a mental health Trauma, Grief, and Loss Therapist , LMHC. Mother Hunger Facilitator

Ask anyone how many contacts are in their phone, and they will have no idea. Ask a daughter whose mother died, and she c...
10/19/2026

Ask anyone how many contacts are in their phone, and they will have no idea. Ask a daughter whose mother died, and she can tell you exactly where Mom is.

Still in favorites. Still under "Mom," not her name. You have never deleted it, and you are not sure you ever will. Some days you open the thread just to see her last text, and the emoji she always used wrong.

Researchers call this a continuing bond. Healthy grief keeps a connection to the person, in objects and habits, and keeping her number is part of how you stay connected. You can keep it as long as you want.

What is her name in your phone? Just the word you saved her as.

Send this to the person who still has her number too.

If you want to talk about what you are carrying, comment 15MIN and I will send you a link for a free 15-minute call.

World Mental Health Day was October 10. I missed it, and I'm posting anyway, because I have never believed mental health...
10/18/2026

World Mental Health Day was October 10. I missed it, and I'm posting anyway, because I have never believed mental health fits into one day of awareness.

This week I've been thinking about my mom.

I lost her twice.

The first time, I was seven. Her mental health began to slip, and the mother I knew got harder to reach. She loved me deeply. She also carried trauma from her own childhood that no one ever helped her process. And she lived inside a religion built on power over, rather than power with. There was no place in it for her pain, so it went underground.

As a little girl, I didn't have words for any of that. I just felt her go far away, and I decided it must be my fault. That is what children do. A child needs her parent to be safe, so she takes the blame herself.

The second time I lost her was to three strokes, one after another. By then I had been grieving her for years, and nobody knew it, including me.

Pauline Boss has a name for that first loss: ambiguous loss. Someone is physically here and emotionally gone. There is no funeral for it, so it often goes unnamed.

No one ever asked my mom what happened to her. They just asked what was wrong with her. I'm pretty convinced that if they had, she might still be here. It's why I became a mental health, grief and trauma therapist.

If you grew up with a mother who was struggling, I see you. Both losses are real. Your grief may have started long before anyone brought a casserole.

When did you start missing her? Tell me in the comments. I read every one.

If you're grieving a mother you lost long before she died, I made Still Her Daughter for you. The link is in my bio.

Ask anyone what they will miss at Thanksgiving, and they will say her stuffing. Ask a daughter whose mother died, and sh...
10/15/2026

Ask anyone what they will miss at Thanksgiving, and they will say her stuffing. Ask a daughter whose mother died, and she will say the phone call the night before.

"What time are you getting here?" "Did you remember the rolls?" "Drive safe." Nobody thought of it as a ritual. It was just the call, every year, the same night. Your body kept the calendar anyway, so the week before, your hand goes looking for the phone.

That reach is attachment. For years she was where the day began, and your brain is now learning a holiday without her in it. That takes more than one year.

You can keep the call. Say what you would have said, out loud, in the car. People do this, and it helps.

What did she always ask you before the holiday? Just the words. I read every one.

Send this to someone who will miss the call this year.

If you would like company through the season, comment CIRCLE and I will send you an invitation to my free community.

Your baby belongs in the story of your family.Today is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day. For everyone carrying ...
10/15/2026

Your baby belongs in the story of your family.

Today is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day. For everyone carrying the loss of a pregnancy or a baby, there is room for your grief here.

Your loss is as big as it is. Your baby matters. Your grief matters.

If you’d like, you can share their name below. Or remember them quietly with us. Take part in whatever way feels right today.

The Wave of Light takes place at 7 p.m. in each time zone. Tonight at 7 p.m. Pacific, we’ll be remembering the babies we love and miss. 🕯️

October is full.Thirteen beds, and every one of them is a woman who decided, maybe for the first time in a long time, th...
10/13/2026

October is full.

Thirteen beds, and every one of them is a woman who decided, maybe for the first time in a long time, that her grief deserved four days of real attention. Thank you. I don't take that lightly.

If you've been watching from a distance, the spring circle is April 29 to May 2, 2027, in Malibu, with Alexis Kimball and Claire Bidwell Smith co-facilitating beside me.

Tickets go on sale October 26 at 8:00 a.m. Pacific.

Comment MALIBU and I'll send you the list.

Ask anyone what they would grab in a fire, and they will say the photos. Ask a daughter whose mother died, and she will ...
10/13/2026

Ask anyone what they would grab in a fire, and they will say the photos. Ask a daughter whose mother died, and she will say the recipe card.

The grocery list still on the fridge. "Love, Mom" at the bottom of a birthday card. The way she wrote her 7s. A photo shows you her face. Her handwriting shows you her hand, still moving, mid-thought.

That is why a note tucked in a cookbook can stop you in the kitchen. Your body knows her before your mind catches up. That is attachment, still doing its work.

And if your person died without warning, the last thing they wrote is often the most ordinary thing: a sticky note, a list, a text that says "on my way." Keep it as long as you need to.

What do you have in their handwriting? One word is enough. I read every one.

Send this to someone who still has the recipe card.

09/05/2026

Talk therapy provides crucial understanding, but sometimes it takes something more to reach the deeper layers of trauma. This clip sheds light on why grief often surfaces unexpectedly during equine therapy—specifically when we reconnect with our younger, wounded selves. It’s a powerful reminder that healing isn't always about processing thoughts; sometimes, it’s about accessing the parts of us that words alone can't reach.

09/05/2026

Have you ever wondered if animals can actually feel what we’re hiding deep inside? There’s something truly profound about the way horses perceive human emotion. Beyond just companionship, they act as living mirrors, physically embodying the weight of the grief or trauma that their human counterparts are carrying. From dropping their heads in solidarity to shedding actual tears, these incredible creatures offer a silent, powerful reflection of our deepest pains. Witness the raw, unspoken connection that bridges the gap between equine intuition and human healing.

08/26/2026

Ever wonder if animals can sense what lies beneath the surface of our emotional lives? This powerful perspective reveals how horses act as mirrors, physically reflecting the deepest grief, exhaustion, or trauma held within a person’s nervous system.

It’s truly profound to witness: when a client carries heavy, unspoken burdens, the horse often displays that exact energy—whether through a sudden softening of their posture or, in extreme cases, by collapsing to the ground to match the weight of the grief. It’s not just animal behavior; it’s a silent, visceral conversation between species that validates the human experience in ways words often cannot.

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Santa Monica, CA
90405

Opening Hours

Monday 9am - 5pm
Tuesday 9am - 9pm
Wednesday 9am - 9pm
Thursday 9am - 5pm
Friday 9am - 5pm

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