Sober Life

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06/17/2026

June 17

Step One
"Recovery from the effects of an alcoholic and dysfunctional upbringing is a process, not an event." BRB p. 124

"Read my book and you can change your life overnight!" "Come to my seminar and I'll give you everything you need!" We hear things like this all the time. And many of us have bought those books and attended those seminars because we were looking for the quick fix, one that would cause us to suddenly change our dysfunctional lives into what we always thought they should be. Maybe we also heard people say that if we wanted something badly enough, we could make it happen. But we often missed the part about how things worth having take work.

When we came to ACA, maybe we thought it could be our quick fix. We might have seen the 12 Steps as a ‘once and done' program of recovery where we'd suddenly be cured.

But as we open our minds and embrace the Promises, we begin to really examine our lives. We need to understand where our dysfunctional behaviors came from. And knowing how long it took us to develop them helps us realize that it will probably take some time for us to change those behaviors. We begin to really internalize the fact that recovery is a process. And the ACA process of recovery works if we work it!

On this day I will look for ways that help me make even small changes. I am willing to give my recovery the time it deserves because I'm worth it!

Copyright © 2013 by Adult Children of Alcoholics® & Dysfunctional Families

06/16/2026

June 16

AA states that resentments is the “number one offender” among our members, that it puts more alcoholics in the graves than any other thing.
—Stools and Bottles

We can get high on anger. That’s why it’s dangerous. We get a false sense of power from being angry. Our anger turns into resentments. Resentments turn into hate. Hate eats at our spiritual core.

We can get rid of resentments and hate through prayer and helping others. That’s why we we’re to pray for those who have wronged us, so our hearts don’t fill with hate. This why, we use our energy in a healthy way. And our serenity will grow as we see that anger no longer has so much power over our actions.

Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, help me stop using anger, resentments and hate for control over other people and advents I don’t like.

Action for the Day: I’ll list all the people I’m angry at. I’ll say a simple prayer for each of them.

06/15/2026

June 15
For many years I was so flexible I didn’t know who I was, and now that I’m discovering who I am, I think, “OK, I know where I stand on that issue. Now on to the next one.” But I have to remind myself that all issues are interrelated–no one is separate.
—Kathleen Casey Theisen
Today flows from yesterday, the day before, the day before that. Tomorrow repeats the pattern. What we are given on any one day will have its beginning in the past and its finale in the future. No incident is isolated entirely; no issue is self-contained.
Maturity is being able to let go of outgrown attitudes, stifling opinions, no matter how good and right they were at one time. Our egos often get too attached to some of our opinions, and new ideas can’t filter in. Some will try to get our attention today. We are ready for new growth. The choice not to hamper it is ours to make.
The opinions we held certain yesterday may not be adequate to the problems of today. They need not be. They served us well. They are not for naught.
Today’s issues need today’s fresh responses. I will be unafraid. Today flows from yesterday, the day before, and the day before that. Tomorrow follows suit.

06/14/2026

June 14
Letting Go of Timing

“When the time is right, child.” When the time is right. How often have we heard those words – from a friend, a sponsor, our Higher Power?

We want things so badly – that job, that check, a relationship, a possession. We want our life to change.

So we wait, sometimes patiently, sometimes anxiously, wondering all the while: When will the future bring me what I long for? Will I be happy then?

We try to predict, circling dates on the calendar, asking questions. We forget that we don’t hold the answers. The answers come from God. If we listen closely, we’ll hear them. When the time is right, child. When the time is right.

Be happy now.

Today, I will relax. I am being prepared. I can let go of timing. I can stop manipulating outcomes. Good things will happen when the time is right, and they will happen naturally.

06/13/2026

June 13
Hanging on to Old Relationships

We want to travel baggage-free on this journey. It makes the trip easier.

Some of the baggage we can let go of is lingering feelings and unfinished business with past relationships: anger, resentments, feelings of victimization, hurt, or longing.

If we have not put closure on a relationship, if we cannot walk away in peace, we have not yet learned our lesson. That may mean we will have to have another go around with that lesson before we are ready to move on.

We may want to do a Fourth Step (a written inventory of our relationships) and a Fifth Step (an admission of our wrongs). What feelings did we leave with in a particular relationship? Are we still carrying those feelings around? Do we want the heaviness and impact of that baggage on our behavior today?

Are we still feeling victimized, rejected, or bitter about something that happened two, five, ten, or even twenty years ago?

It may be time to let it go. It may be time to open ourselves to the true lesson from that experience. It may be time to put past relationships to rest, so we are free to go on to new, more rewarding experiences.

We can choose to live in the past, or we can choose to finish our old business from the past and open ourselves to the beauty of today.

Let go of your baggage from past relationships.

Today, I will open myself to the cleansing and healing process that will put closure on yesterday and open me to the best today, and tomorrow, has to offer in my relationships.

06/12/2026

June 12

If people only knew the healing power of laughter and joy, many of our fine doctors would be out of business. Joy is one of nature’s greatest medicines. Joy is always healthy. A pleasant state of mind tends to bring abnormal conditions back to normal.
—Catherine Ponder

Feeling joyful may not come naturally to us most of the time. We may, in fact, have to “act as if” with great effort. We may not even recognize genuine joy in the beginning. A technique for finding it is living fully in the present and with gratitude for all we can see, touch, and feel.

The open and honest expression of gratitude for the presence of the ones closest to us now creates a rush within our breasts, a rush that will be shared by our friends, too. Joy is contagious. Joy is freeing. Joy brings into focus our distorted perceptions. Greeting life with joy alters every experience for us and for those we share it with.

I will bring joy wherever I go today. I will give the gift of joy to everyone I meet.

06/11/2026

June 11

My lifetime listens to yours.
—Muriel Rukeyser

Our experiences educate us to help show each other the way. Others’ experiences, likewise, will help still others. We need to share our histories. And the program offers us the way. There is no greater honor we can give one another than rapt attention. We each want to be heard, to be special, to be acknowledged. And recognition may will be the balm that will heal someone’s hurt today.

A new day faces us, a day filled with opportunities to really listen to someone who needs to be heard. And the surprise is that we will hear a message just right for us, where we are now. A message that may well point us in a new, better direction. Guidance is always at hand, if only we listen for it. But when we are trapped in our own narrow world of problems and confusion, we scramble whatever messages are trying to reach us. And we miss the many opportunities to make another person feel special and necessary to our lives.

My growth is enhanced every time I give my attention fully to another person. And this process is multiplied over and over and over. I will be there for someone today.

06/09/2026

June 09

Step Twelve
"Spiritually awake adult children understand the spiritual axiom which states: ‘We must give away what we have to keep it.' This is one of the most selfless acts of love we can offer a confused world; however, we must love ourselves first to have something to give away." BRB p. 288

We who felt terribly lost and hopelessly confused, or bitterly angry and very sad for most of our lives experience a deep and lasting peace of mind from working the ACA program. Using the Steps, reparenting ourselves, and achieving a spiritual awakening feel so good. We are full of joy and want to share the wealth!

Our daily lives feature endless ways to share our True Selves with our families, co-workers and neighbors: everyone can potentially enjoy our recovery. Perhaps newcomers to our meetings benefit most from our spiritual awakening. They hear our emotional sobriety and sense our joy. Many come to meetings from a dark place and may be somewhat bewildered by the terminology and frank talk about deeply-held family secrets. They may never have heard anyone talk openly about these subjects and offer a Solution.

We are a very special group of folks whose experience, strength, and hope can light the way for others if we keep coming back and sharing that light. By remembering the slogan "First Things First," we transmit our recovery through a personal act of service - loving our True Selves.

On this day I will recall my early days in ACA and the wonderful gifts I have received: clarity and freedom. I will share my love for my True Self so that others may know hope.

Copyright © 2013 by Adult Children of Alcoholics® & Dysfunctional Families

06/08/2026

June 8
Quality Of Sobriety
Self-Improvement
There is such a thing as length—or quantity—of sobriety, and there is also quality. It’s generally accepted that sobriety ought to be something more than the single process of staying free from alcohol or drugs.
We’re on shaky ground, however, when we begin passing judgment on another person’s quality of sobriety. We only have responsibility for the quality of our own sobriety, and it is not for us to decide how another should think or live.
We may not be able to avoid noticing others’ actions that we consider to be wrong, but we can keep our thoughts and opinions to ourselves. If we do wish to voice any opinions, it should be in terms of our own inventory—not the other person’s.
Some old-timers in Twelve Step programs develop crankiness that borders on resentment. Out of this crankiness come complaints about the way newcomers work the program. Our only responsibility is to treat these complaints with good humor and to avoid becoming cranky ourselves. Recovery alcoholics must continue to have the freedom to select any quality of sobriety they choose.
Today I’ll strive for a high-quality sobriety that includes cheerfulness, confidence, patience, and good humor. I won’t be responsible for monitoring another’s sobriety.

06/07/2026

June 7
Forgiveness is the way to true health and happiness.
-Gerald Jampolsky
We can’t afford to hold grudges. We have all felt hurt by others at times. But when we stay angry at another person, it hurts us. It keeps our wounds open. It takes our energy away from healing.
We can forgive now. We know that living our program of honesty and love make us safe. We don’t have to be afraid. We don’t have to be angry. We don’t have to let old hurts stand in our way. We let them go. We empty the angers from the hearts to clear the way for love.
Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, help me forgive the people I’m still angry with. Help me see that each of those people taught me something about myself.
Action for the Day: Am I holding on to anger and resentment? If so, I’ll make a list today, and I’ll talk with my sponsor about ways to let go of them.

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Santa Rosa Beach, FL
32459

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