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10/21/2026

October 21

Even a stopped clock is right twice a day.
-Anonymous

Nobody’s always wrong. Nobody’s all bad. And that includes us.

Sometimes, we really get down on ourselves. When we do Step Four, we sometimes see only our faults. When we make our Step Ten checkup, we see only our mistakes. We can’t afford to do this. We need to see our strengths too. But even our faults have a good side. Are you stubborn? Good—be stubborn, you know how to hang on to feelings. So, hang on to the good feelings instead of the bad ones.

Each of us is good and wise. What’s good about us got twisted by our disease. But now we can get the kinks out. We are sober, and we have a program to help us.

Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, help me to see the good in myself and others.

Action for the Day: I’ll take another look at my faults today. How can I use them in good ways?

10/20/2026

October 20

Relationships
"Adult children intuitively link up with other adult children in relationships and social settings." BRB p. 13

No matter how much we told ourselves that we wouldn't repeat the patterns of our parents, most of us reached adulthood and found ourselves inevitably attracted to others who came from similar backgrounds. It was like we could see each other in the dark, like we had some type of special radar. This didn't just happen by accident. It was a well-established pattern that we saw all around us in childhood.

Through it all, we found ourselves clinging to the fairy tale that one day we would find Mister or Miss Right and we would magically live happily ever after. But we kept meeting the "wrong" ones. Our dysfunctional coping behaviors only allowed us to relate well to certain people.

When we finally saw the writing on the wall, that things were not going to change unless we found the courage to change ourselves, we were lucky enough to get to an ACA meeting. There we found others like ourselves, but these others were doing the work to dig out from under their messy lives. As we listened to what they had learned, we became willing to make the journey that would require us to be truly honest with ourselves, perhaps for the first time. This journey will take us to where we are entitled to be - happy, joyous and free.

On this day I will have the courage to make the changes in my life that will make me whole. I will reach out and I know someone will be there.

Copyright © 2013 by Adult Children of Alcoholics® & Dysfunctional Families

10/19/2026

October 19

A wise man changes his mind, a fool never will.
-Seventeenth century proverb

We addicts used to be stubborn. Once we got an idea in our heads, we wouldn’t change it.

We didn’t listen to others ideas. We almost seemed to say, “Don’t tell me the facts. I’ve already made up my mind.”

But lately , some new ideas are making sense to us. We are starting to change our minds. Maybe we are good people, after all. Maybe we do deserve to be happy. Maybe other people can help us. Maybe our Higher Power does know best.

We’re not acting like fools any longer. We’re learning to change our old ideas.

Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, when I hear a better idea, help me change my mind.

Action for the Day: When I hear or read a new idea today, I’ll really think about it. If it fits, I’ll try it.

10/18/2026

October 18
Those who want it, Not those who need it.

Honest Desire

In the first bloom of sobriety, many recovering people confront drinking companions who also “need” the program. They’re often surprised and disillusion when efforts to help their friends are rejected, sometimes curtly.

We’re truly limited to helping those who desire recovery, not those who we think need it. Though intervention methods can be effective, we’re still largely helpless to assist those who don’t desire recovery.

We regret that we really have no answers for the millions who perish from alcoholism, unaware of their problem. We also can hold out little hope that any future recovery attempts will succeed without the individual alcoholic’s cooperation.

Desire, a personal determination and decision, is necessary for almost any kind of change. We have the freedom to choose in many areas of our lives, and alcoholics must eventually choose recovery in order to find and maintain it.

Though I’d love to see others recover, I must accept the fact that their personal desire and choice is necessary. I’ll remember this if any opportunities arise today to carry the message.

10/17/2026

October 17

Changing Inside
"As we greet co-workers or friends, we feel that we are changing inside. We begin to recognize a power inside we had not known before." BRB p. 273

Regularly taking a quiet time helps us to grow up emotionally and spiritually. How we take it depends on our choices. At first, we spend time by ourselves when we need to, letting others do what they will to take care of themselves. If they spend it getting drunk and high, we let them, but we no longer seek that outlet for our pain and suffering, if that was how we previously coped. Later, we see that we actually enjoy spending time alone. We don't fill ourselves up with others just to pass the time and keep us numb. We no longer pretend to be excited when we're not. We seek those we can truly connect with and enjoy. We talk not just about superficial things, but about who we are and what's important to us. People respect us more at work and elsewhere because we don't seek constant approval as we did in our families. We no longer do things we're uncomfortable with just for the sake of fitting in. As we become more genuine, we allow others to find their own paths; instead of labeling them, we now make room for our differences. If some don't like the new us, we have to let them go. We adjust our list of whom we can trust.

On this day I will own my power to be genuine and feel how comfortable it is to focus on being myself.

Copyright © 2013 by Adult Children of Alcoholics® & Dysfunctional Families

10/16/2026

October 16

Self-Love
"I lived my life in an endless cycle of harmful relationships, lost jobs, and lost friends. I could never be a friend, actually. I stopped getting into relationships to stop the pain. I had no choice. I was compulsive and getting more out of control with each passing year." BRB p. 141

It's amazing how we can be unaware that we're harming ourselves. We choose the wrong people, places and things to make us happy for the wrong reasons. Sometimes we know we're allowing people to use us so we can use them. We use people as Band-Aids to cover our unhealed wounds until we notice we still hurt and the Band-Aids can't help us. Our sponsors suggest that we work on loving ourselves. But how?

We read ACA literature, give ourselves affirmations and journal. We look at our past, deal with our hurts, forgive ourselves and others. We do the work. And one day we notice that it's happening. We've started to love ourselves and even like ourselves. We stop using Band-Aids and now have authentic friends who love us as we are, while we continue the journey of recovery. The greatest gift is that we learn to be a friend to ourselves.

On this day I will do the work. The journey to self-love is not an easy one, but the payoff is priceless.

Copyright © 2013 by Adult Children of Alcoholics® & Dysfunctional Families

10/15/2026

October 15
Letting Go of Chaos

No good work comes from unrest.

Unrest, fear, anger, or sadness may motivate us. These feelings are sometimes intended to compel action. But our best work emerges after these feelings have been replaced by peace.

We will not accomplish our task any sooner, or any better, by performing it out of a sense of urgency, fear, anger, or sadness.

Let go of unrest. Let peace fill the void. We do not have to forfeit our power, our God given personal power – or our peace – to do the work as we are called upon to do today. We will be given all the power we need to do what we are meant to do, when it is time.

Let peace come first. Then proceed. The task will get done, naturally and on time.

Today, I will get peaceful first, and let my work and life emerge from that base.

10/14/2026

October 14

The balance between mind and spirit comes hard for me. The eternal split. Two entities, perfectly aware and yet perfectly unwilling to cooperate.
–Mary Casey

The program directs our spiritual growth, a human aspect that had atrophied, if ever it had existed, for most of us before abstinence. And the process of developing our spiritual nature is painstaking. Living by our wits, or the fervent application of “situational analysis” had been our survival tools for months or years.

To return repeatedly to the old tools for quick solutions to serious situations is second nature. Learning to rely on spiritual guidance for solutions and to use it to sharpen our analytical focus takes patience and continual effort.

Within our spiritual realm we find our connection to God. We have been given the wisdom; all the knowledge we need is at our fingertips. The confidence to move ahead and offer our special talent to others comes from our Spirit. We are all that we need to be. Our mind and our Spirits, in concert, can tackle any challenge and succeed.

My mind and my Spirit can become compatible entities with the development of my trust in each. Knowledge plus courage can move mountains. I have been given both.

10/13/2026

October 13
When are we receiving guidance?
Guidance

We have to face the fact that what we see as divine guidance may simply be an expression of self-will.. We are all too familiar with examples of people who did terrible things, claiming to be obeying orders from God.

We cannot judge whether another is really receiving guidance from a Higher Power. In our own lives, however, we can learn to distinguish between God’s guidance and our self-will. The outstanding characteristic of a divinely guided action is the strong sense of peace it brings. Even if we have to deny ourselves for a time, we sense that the final outcome of any decision will be beneficial for all concerned. We do not have to argue for or defend our decision.

When self-will is in the saddle, we may find ourselves being called on to justify our actions. We may also have to quell or rationalize feelings of guilt or doubt.

The right answers come when self-will is working in harmony with the Higher Will. Our lives will have a quality that everybody senses, including ourselves.

Knowing that self-will can easily lead me astray, I’ll listen today for the divine voice of my Higher Power.

10/12/2026

October 12

Trust only movement. Life happens at the level of events, not words.
—Alfred Adler

Being sober is an event. Being sober also means movement. We go to meetings. We find and meet with a sponsor. We talk with friends. If we don’t act in these ways were not sober.

Our actions also tell us if we’re leading a spiritual life. What do you do when you see someone in need? Spirituality means helping. It’s not just kind words.

In Step Four and Ten, we check out our action, not our words. Our actions will tell us if we’re on the recovery path.

Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, help me to not hide in words. I pray for the strength to take the right action. Help me walk a sober path.

Action for the Day: Today as I work Step Ten, I’ll focus only on my actions How have I acted sober today?

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