The EMDR Coach

11/02/2026

"Should I use standard reprocessing here, or CIPOS?"

I hear this in consultation all the time.

There's no permanent answer. The client who needs CIPOS today may be ready for standard reprocessing in a few weeks. The client who has processed for months may need more stabilization after a hard life event.

Stop picking a favorite intervention. Go back to your case conceptualization. It already knows.

How to decide: https://www.danacarretta.com/post/cipos-vs-standard-emdr-reprocessing-how-to-decide-which-approach-fits-your-client

CIPOS vs standard EMDR reprocessing: learn the differences, when each approach fits, and how case conceptualization guides your clinical decision.

11/01/2026

Understanding someone doesn’t mean agreeing with them.

I say this all the time. To clients, to therapists, and honestly, to myself.

But in complex trauma work, curiosity doesn’t always land.

Sometimes the client dissociates.
Sometimes a protective part steps in and shuts the door.

That pushback makes sense.

A nervous system that learned closeness was dangerous will read curiosity as a threat. The protective part is doing exactly what it was built to do.

So what do we do when empathy gets pushed away?

I asked DrArthur Ciaramicoli that exact question on this episode of The Truth About Healing.

Want to hear his answer?
Comment PODCAST and I’ll send you the full conversation.

🎬 Produced by Claudio Valenzuela

11/01/2026

Some people avoid EMDR because they’re scared of what could go wrong.

Others rush in and skip the parts that keep it safe.
Both come from the same place. Not knowing what to expect.

Your nervous system can only process what it has enough safety to hold. Without that, a hard memory doesn’t get processed. It just gets relived.

Before your first session:
➡️ Notice how you usually react to stress, like shutting down or pushing through, and tell your therapist
➡️ Plan something calming for after each session
➡️ Let one person in your life know you’re starting

Therapists, a lot of early dropout comes from clients who didn’t know what to expect. Walk them through these 6 things before Phase 3. It builds trust and it gives them permission to speak up.

I put together 23 of the most common EMDR mistakes, for clients and therapists, in a free guide. Comment “23 MISTAKES” and I’ll send you the link.

11/01/2026

Not ready for EMDR doesn't mean failing therapy.

Sometimes the nervous system needs more safety before deeper work begins. Rushing into painful memories without enough regulation can leave someone flooded instead of healing.

Timing, preparation, and pacing are the treatment. They aren't delays to it.

Therapists: readiness is about capacity, not how many sessions you've spent in Phase 2.

What readiness looks like: https://www.danacarretta.com/post/who-is-not-appropriate-for-emdr-understanding-readiness-safety-and-trauma-informed-care

Who is not appropriate for EMDR? Learn when EMDR therapy may require stabilization, pacing, or alternative support before trauma processing begins.

10/31/2026

Some people make it easy to open up.
With others, you stay guarded and can’t explain why.

That’s your nervous system doing its job.

When someone listens with real empathy, your brain releases oxytocin.
The bonding hormone.
It calms your body and signals that you’re safe.

And once your body feels safe, you can be vulnerable.

That’s why DrArthur Ciaramicoli sees empathic listening as the first step in healing from trauma.
Someone has to feel heard first.
He wrote a whole book on it. The Power of Empathy.

Try this:
➡️ Notice who your body relaxes around. Your shoulders drop. Your breath slows.
➡️ Notice who you brace around.
Both are information.

For my therapists:
Your empathy is an intervention.
Before any protocol, your client’s nervous system is asking one question. Am I safe with you?
Attunement is how you answer it.

🎧 Hear the full conversation in Episode 22 of The Truth About Healing podcast.
Comment PODCAST and I’ll send you the link.

10/31/2026

Ever notice your stomach drops before your mind catches up?

That’s not random.

Your vagus nerve is constantly reporting to your brain about what’s happening in your body. Your brain uses that information to decide whether you’re safe.

So when your body is braced, your mind follows.
This week, notice where stress shows up first.
Throat. Chest. Stomach.

That’s your vagus nerve reporting in.

Therapists, this is great psychoeducation before EMDR processing. When clients understand why their body reacts the way it does, body sensations during reprocessing feel less scary and more like information.

For extra support between sessions, I often recommend Pulsetto. It’s a wearable that gently stimulates the vagus nerve, with guided programs for stress, anxiety, and sleep.

Use code DANA for 10% off. Comment Pulsetto and I’ll send you the link.

10/31/2026

If treatment planning feels like paperwork, it's working against you.

With complex trauma, dissociation, and attachment wounds, the plan is your clinical roadmap. Without one, every session becomes a reaction to whatever walks in the door.

Good planning isn't a rigid checklist. It's knowing the person in front of you well enough to pace on purpose.

Clarity for you is safety for your client.

How to plan with intention: https://www.danacarretta.com/post/treatment-planning-counseling-why-intentional-therapy-planning-matters

Learn why treatment planning counseling matters in trauma-informed therapy, EMDR treatment planning, and sustainable mental health care.

10/30/2026

EMDR still makes some people uncomfortable.

Honestly, some of that makes sense.

From the outside it looks strange. It challenges traditional talk therapy. And it's sometimes practiced with too little training, which feeds the skepticism.

The real debate isn't whether trauma healing matters. It's how change happens, and what responsible trauma treatment looks like.

Therapists: when someone questions EMDR, curiosity lands better than defensiveness. Know the research and know its limits.

The debate, explained: https://www.danacarretta.com/post/why-is-emdr-so-controversial-understanding-the-debate-around-emdr-therapy

Why is EMDR so controversial? Learn the concerns, misconceptions, research debates, and trauma-informed perspectives surrounding EMDR therapy.

10/29/2026

Every one of these lands in the body.

➡️ “Just focus”
An ADHD brain can focus. It struggles to choose where.

➡️ “You’re so lazy”
Usually it’s task paralysis. The want is there. The start button isn’t.

➡️ “Did you forget again?”
Working memory holds less at once. Things slip out.

➡️ “But you seem fine”
A lot of people work twice as hard just to look fine.

➡️ “You’re just too sensitive”
ADHD affects emotional regulation too. Feelings hit faster and harder.

When you hear these over and over, shame builds.
Shame puts the nervous system on high alert.
And a brain on high alert has an even harder time focusing, remembering, and regulating.

Next time you hear one, pause.
Take one slow exhale before you answer.
You’re giving your body a second to feel safe again.

For therapists:
Many adult clients carry years of these comments.
Ask which one they heard most.
It often points straight to the core belief.

I put together a list of regulation tools I recommend, with discount codes. It’s linked in my bio.

Which one did you hear growing up?
Tell me in the comments.