09/17/2026
As a late diagnosed Autistic woman, I spent decades accommodating everyone except myself.
Going out to eat could be overwhelming.
From the ADHD side, there were too many choices. At the same time, I was scanning for foods I knew I could eat, textures I could tolerate and something familiar.
Everyone else seemed ready to order, so I learned to hurry up and choose.
I went where other people wanted to go, even when the lighting, noise or seating didn’t work for me.
I wore clothes based more on how I was expected to look than how they actually felt on my body.
I was taught to be accommodating.
To be nice.
To make other people comfortable.
So I learned that I was the one who was supposed to adjust.
Learning I’m Autistic changed that.
Once I understood that sensory differences are actually part of Autism, I began making decisions based on what works for me.
Now I look at menus before we go.
I order my food the way I want it, even if that means asking for things on the side.
I ask for the quieter, darker booth.
If bright lights hurt my eyes, I wear my sunglasses.
I wear soft clothing, cut out tags and buy multiples when I find something that works.
I hear versions of this from my late diagnosed clients too.
We became very good at accommodating everyone except ourselves.
I don’t do that anymore.
Understanding that I’m Autistic gave me permission to take my own needs seriously.
If you’ve spent years believing being accommodating meant ignoring what works for you, you have permission to change that too.
Wear the sunglasses.
Order your food the way you want it.
Wear the clothes that feel good on your body.
You don’t have to explain or apologize for making ordinary choices that work for you.
You get to accommodate yourself too.
