Jessa Zimmerman Couples Counseling & Sex Therapy

08/11/2026

This is one question from my quiz, "How big a problem is my s*x life?" One of the biggest ways I see couples struggle with s*x is when it has become "binary." We are either having s*x or we're not. There's no in between, there's no ability to just be intimate and see where it goes. There's pressure to finish what you start, and that creates a barrier for anyone who already isn't in the mood.

How would you answer the question?
• We easily mess around or share physical affection and intimacy without thinking about whether it’ll lead to s*x or not.
• We’ve said that it’s okay to just mess around or make out, but it still feels like there’s an expectation that it lead to s*x.
• We really don’t do anything without it leading to s*x.
• It absolutely feels like we need to finish what we start. If we’re physical with each other, we know that’s the expectation.
• Well, since we’re happily non-s*xual, we’re definitely not “doing the whole thing.”

You can take the quiz at https://www.s*xlifequiz.com/

08/11/2026

"I hoped for s*x to feel light and playful again, not another chore or source of tension."

Do you remember what it felt like before? When physical intimacy was spontaneous, when desire felt natural, when being close to your partner was simply... fun?

Somewhere along the way, s*x became serious business. Loaded with expectations, performance pressure, and unspoken negotiations. What used to be a source of joy and connection became another item on the relationship to-do list.

The playfulness got buried under concern about frequency, timing, and whether you're "doing it right." Spontaneity got replaced by scheduled attempts and careful planning. Lightness got crushed under the weight of both partners trying so hard to fix what felt broken.

But here's what I know after working with hundreds of couples: that lightness is still there. It's just buried under layers of pressure and misunderstanding.
When you remove the performance expectations, when you take away the goal-oriented approach to s*x, when you create space for desire to emerge naturally instead of demanding it show up on command – something beautiful happens.
Playfulness returns. Curiosity replaces anxiety. Connection flows instead of being forced.

In Intimacy with Ease, we spend significant time on what I call "returning to play" – specific approaches and activities that help couples rediscover the joy and lightness in physical intimacy. Not as a performance, but as an exploration. Not as an obligation, but as a gift you give each other.

Because s*x is meant to be one of the most joyful parts of your relationship, not the heaviest.

You can find your way back to that lightness. And it's more accessible than you think.

08/10/2026

You can have an STI and not have symptoms. One might not know they have one for many years. https://www.bustle.com/p/9-stis-you-can-still-get-when-youre-in-a-faithful-relationship-8526391

08/10/2026

Discover the transformative power of ecstasy beyond the bedroom. Join Jessa Zimmerman on the Better S*x Podcast as she dives into profound connections, awe, & emotional release with Barbara Carrellas. Unearth the spiritual side of pleasure and how it fuels resilience in today's world. Listen now: https://intimacywithease.com/411 *xPodcast

411: The Book of Ecstasy: Finding Joy and Connection Aug 10, 2026 | Latest Episodes, podcast, Published Authors Click to Listen on Substack S*x therapist Jessa Zimmerman interviews Barbara Carrellas, author of The Book of Ecstasy, about ecstasy as a transformative state that goes beyond pleasure, se...

08/09/2026

This has been on my mind lately, given how many people opt for a medical intervention for a psychological problem. How Erectile Dysfunction Pills Hooked Younger Guys - Elemental https://elemental.medium.com/how-erectile-dysfunction-pills-hooked-younger-guys-e8875a1c6067

08/09/2026

This looks like great news! Improved procedure for cancer-related erectile dysfunction -- ScienceDaily https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2019/04/190412094731.htm

08/08/2026

Unfortunately, in the case of certain s*xually transmitted infections — herpes included — securing your status isn't straightforward. Read to gain some clarity: https://www.allure.com/story/herpes-testing-accuracy

08/08/2026

08/08/2026

Couples Have More S*x When They Learn Together, Study Shows - mindbodygreen https://www.mindbodygreen.com/articles/couples-have-more-s*x-when-they-learn-together

08/07/2026

"Many of us feel disconnected during s*x some or most of the time. At the more extreme end, s*xual dysfunction – erectile problems, vaginal pain, zero libido – can severely hamper our quality of life and our relationships. In many cases, there could be a relatively simple, if not easily achieved, fix: mindfulness."

Mindfulness has been used to treat depression and encourage healthy eating. Now, with huge numbers of men and women reporting s*xual dissatisfaction, it is being applied to our relationships