Connect Counseling and Consulting

10/15/2026

Autistic directness gets read as cruelty constantly, and the burden almost always lands on the autistic person to sound gentler, instead of on the listener to notice that bluntness isn't automatically unkind.

Someone saying something sharp and calling it "just being honest" is often really about their own need to feel in control, while an autistic person stating a direct fact gets labeled rude for the exact same bluntness.

Passing this gate without erasing the truth means pairing direct content with one small marker of care, "I want to say something direct because I think it matters to you," and then saying the true thing.

If you've been told your whole life that your honesty is harsh, you don't owe anyone an apology for clarity. Kindness was never about softness. Plenty of soft-sounding speech is manipulative, and plenty of blunt speech is the most respectful thing in the room.

10/13/2026

“Lacks empathy” gets stamped on autistic people constantly. The research tells a more interesting story.

Alexithymia (trouble identifying and describing your own feelings) is common in autistic people. It explains a lot of what gets read as “cold.” It doesn’t mean the feeling isn’t there.

Also, neurotypical people misread autistic people’s mental states too. The mismatch goes both ways.

If you’re a clinician, one small thing to try this week: offer a different way to share feelings. Drawing, typing, a feeling-word list, or just more time.

Which of these have you tried? Drop it in the comments, I’m collecting ideas. 👇

Swipe through for the research and references.

10/08/2026

I'm an ND therapist. I make typos in my social media posts. I've misscheduled a client or two... I've double-booked a virtual coffee.

The same thing sits underneath all of it: working memory. Research shows kids with ADHD symptoms make more spelling errors than their peers, and even more when working memory is under extra load (Re et al., 2014). Scheduling asks for the same juggling act.

So I stopped hiding it. It's in my informed consent, alongside the systems I use to catch it: automated reminders, confirming times in writing, buffer time, and a daily look at tomorrow's calendar.

When something still slips, I own it quickly and make it right. You don't have to mask your brain to practice ethically. Transparency, systems, and repair are the ethical part.

Neurodivergent clinicians, what's in your informed consent? I'd love to see what's working for you.

10/05/2026

ADHD brains aren't broken. They're running a few years behind, and we have evidence for this.

A landmark neuroimaging study followed 223 children with ADHD and 223 typically developing children and found the prefrontal cortex, the region controlling attention and motor planning, reached peak thickness several years later than typical.

The sequence of development was identical in both groups, the difference wasn't a different path, it was a delayed one.

A developmental delay isn't the same as a permanent deficit, which is part of why executive function challenges can improve significantly with age without ADHD itself going away.

10/01/2026

ADHD brains get told to filter themselves more, as if the impulse to share a thought is a moral failing. It isn't, it's how the brain generates and processes thought in real time.

Failing this gate looks like a clinician reading "this person won't stop talking" and responding with an abrupt cutoff instead of curiosity.

Passing it looks like capturing the thought instead of forcing it out immediately, a quick note or memo that lets the thought exist without needing to be spoken the second it arrives.

If this gate is hard for you, losing a thought forever if you don't say it now is a real cost, not a discipline problem, and you're not required to suppress every unprompted thought to prove you're considerate.

This standard was never "never speak unprompted." Most neurotypical people break it constantly and never get called selfish for it.

09/28/2026

Same symptoms, different diagnosis, depending on who's sitting in the chair.

Girls with ADHD get diagnosed at roughly half the rate of boys, not because they have it less often, but because the diagnostic criteria were built almost entirely around how ADHD shows up in boys.

A national study following kids from kindergarten through 8th grade found Black and Hispanic children showed the same or higher rates of ADHD symptoms as white children, and were still diagnosed and medicated significantly less often.

Underdiagnosis isn't a neutral gap, it's years without support, without accommodations, without an explanation for why things feel harder than they should.

All citations embedded for those looking!

Full breakdown and sourcing on the blog Wednesday: connect-counseling.co/blog

09/25/2026

I've been quiet for a minute. Here's an update of a few things!

-I officinally onboarded four new therapists into antioppressive, neuroaffirming care this stretch.
-Our mental health cooperative, Divergent Minds Collective, has officially been approved as a Behavioral Health Agency in Washington State and we're waiting on our Health Care Authority approval to start working with Medicaid folks. I drove this effort and it was a lot.
-My CEU business, ConnectLab, has officially applied for ACEP certification and is almost done with the ASWB application too! We also have three more incredibly talented co-owners: Noelle Turner, Abby White, and Johnny Spangler. Stay tuned for our shenanigans with this.

On top of my full therapy business, this has taken all the time I was using for social media.

My goal is to create a community where I can trust the people around me and offer meaningful identity and neuroaffirming resources for other mental health professionals wanting to support clients better. All of these steps I mentioned before feel completely value-aligned and like I'm starting to achieve my goal. :)

That felt like a better use of my time than posting on autopilot.

Back to regular content next week. Follow so you don't miss it.

09/08/2026

09/05/2026

"High-functioning" and "low-functioning" don't measure what you think they measure.

A 2020 study of 2,225 autistic people found IQ was a weak predictor of daily functional ability. High cognitive score, real struggles with daily living.

The label hides the mismatch instead of naming it.

"High-functioning" usually means your real struggles get ignored. "Low-functioning" usually means your real capabilities get ignored.

Neither describes actual support needs. The label decides who gets support, not the other way around.

Ask about support needs by domain and don't forget you're talking to a whole interconnected human, not a single functioning score.

09/05/2026

“High-functioning” and “low-functioning” don’t measure what you think they measure. ⁠
⁠
A 2020 study of 2,225 autistic people found IQ was a weak predictor of daily functional ability. High cognitive score, real struggles with daily living. ⁠
⁠
The label hides the mismatch instead of naming it. ⁠
⁠
“High-functioning” usually means your real struggles get ignored. “Low-functioning” usually means your real capabilities get ignored. ⁠
⁠
Neither describes actual support needs. The label decides who gets support, not the other way around. ⁠
⁠
Ask about support needs by domain and don’t forget you’re talking to a whole interconnected human, not a single functioning score. Save this. Follow for more Dr Rachel Hughes