Three Points Relationships

Three Points Relationships Chicago area relationship therapy group led by Kate Engler. Couples/relationship therapy is our jam!

When things feel messy and complicated in your relationship, we are here to help. Tips, insights, & real life strategies because relationships are hard.

06/04/2026

Whether you’re back out there or you love someone who is — this one’s for you.

Because how we show up for each other during big life transitions says a lot about the kind of friends we actually are.

🎥 Let’s talk about curiosity over caution.
💬 Which side of this are you on right now?

Something we return to again and again -  in our own lives and in the therapy room:Shame and compassion can’t coexist. O...
06/02/2026

Something we return to again and again -  in our own lives and in the therapy room:

Shame and compassion can’t coexist. One shuts everything down. The other opens it back up.

And that matters more than most of us realize, especially in our closest relationships.

(Swipe to see what we mean →) 💙

05/28/2026

Divorce doesn’t have to make you enemies.
But unchecked, it can. And the damage doesn’t stay contained — it follows you into co-parenting, into your next relationship, into how you see yourself.

That’s why I do this work. Helping people move through divorce without burning down everything around them.

Here are three things to keep in your back pocket to help you divorce well. 🎥

Gen Xers: What relationship equation do you want NOW? 😳
05/26/2026

Gen Xers: What relationship equation do you want NOW? 😳

05/21/2026

Why Planning Intimacy Is Actually the Move
The things we enjoy most? We make space for them.
Intimacy shouldn’t be the exception.

Drop a 🖤 if this landed — or a question if you want to dig deeper.

05/19/2026

Something I’ve had to sit with as a therapist: my clients shouldn’t have to do the emotional labor of bringing their full identity into the room. I should be the one making space for it.

Norma Day-Vines’ work on broaching and Sahaj Kaur Kohli’s work on culturally inclusive care have both shaped how I think about this. The absence of that conversation isn’t neutrality — it’s a message, especially if there are differences. What does that sound like for me? Taking Dr. Day-Vines’ work to heart: “I’m aware we come from different backgrounds; do you want to talk about it? If not, if it ever feels relevant, let me know.”

We hold power. Let’s use it well.

Cc:

Most couples come to therapy convinced the problem is them. And honestly? That makes sense — we’re not taught to look at...
05/12/2026

Most couples come to therapy convinced the problem is them. And honestly? That makes sense — we’re not taught to look at the bigger picture.

But the culture you grew up in, the dynamics that got normalized around you, the invisible rules about who does what and who needs what — all of it shows up in your relationship. And if therapy doesn’t make room for that conversation, it can accidentally keep you stuck in the same story.

That’s what sociocultural attunement means in practice. It’s not a buzzword — it’s the difference between asking what’s wrong with us and asking what were we handed, and does it still fit?

You can’t pour from an empty cup — and yet so many of us are running on fumes, showing up for everyone but ourselves.Reg...
05/07/2026

You can’t pour from an empty cup — and yet so many of us are running on fumes, showing up for everyone but ourselves.

Regulation isn’t selfish. Rest isn’t laziness. The hobbies that restore you are what make you available to the people you love most. 💞

Our associate therapist Emily Drake wrote about burnout recovery, non-doing, and the quiet activities that bring her back to herself — and to the people who matter.

Because healthy relationships start with a regulated you.

New post — 🔗 in bio. What restores YOU?

05/05/2026

Pleasure deficits don’t show up on anyone’s list of relationship problems. But they show up in my office. Constantly.

And most people never connect the two.

Some conversations need to be had more than once. This is one of them. 🎥

Most couples therapy practices and social media advice ignore a significant part of the story—the impact of culture. Ind...
04/30/2026

Most couples therapy practices and social media advice ignore a significant part of the story—the impact of culture.
 
Individual experiences, and personal and family histories offer important insights into who we are and  how we function in relationships, but culture plays a HUGE role in:
·Who we are in relation to others
·Our expectations about what relationships are supposed to look like
·Determines what feels “normal” or “right” in our relationships
· Drives automatic behavior and responses to relationship stress
 
Even emotions are not solely a personal experience! They are a combination of the neurobiological responses that occur individually within us AND the social situations in which they occur.
 
For example, my personal feeling of disappointment and frustration about my husband not doing an equal share of household tasks is inextricably linked to cultural messaging related to gender equality and fairness.
 
Real change is rarely sustainable without the full story.

Address

10024 Skokie Boulevard , Ste 207
Skokie, IL
60077

Telephone

+18445466642

Website

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