Breaking Illusions Counseling

06/11/2026

06/10/2026

Consistency not intensity.

05/30/2026

Have you ever tried to forgive and was not able to or it doesn't work?

That is because forgiveness is left brained, self deceptive, fake and false. It puts you out of touch with your inner experience by saying something, someone, some place is responsible for your state of being when in fact it is avoidance of taking ownership. Ownership of your inner experiences, thoughts, beliefs, feelings/emotions regarding that experience. To dissipate the quick false sense of moving on from that experience (forgiveness), slow down and feel emotionally and somatically what that experience created inside of you (pain, shame, fear, anger).

Adding self forgiveness adds shame to self disgust and self blame. Feel what you need to feel nonjudgmentally. Expand those emotions until dissipation is reached. Say to yourself, this experience created these emotions inside of me....and touch those emotions, acknowledge, accept and allow those to come up to come out.

You can even ask when was the first time you felt these sensations/emotions? To allow the core of the suppressed material to become conscious. To access those deeper emotions to be able to sit with those.

05/26/2026

Be self compassionate if you are on the other side of this. Healing is possible. This is regarding the roles of people pleasers and caretakers.

04/24/2026

https://www.facebook.com/share/p/1ADY7eVxYA/

Many adults who struggle with control were raised in environments where emotions felt unpredictable, inconsistent, or absent. When stability isn’t provided in childhood, the brain adapts—learning to create control as a way to reduce anxiety and protect itself from uncertainty.

Psychology links this to attachment patterns and emotional regulation: when you couldn’t rely on your environment, you learn to rely on yourself—your plans, your structure, your outcomes. Control becomes a coping mechanism, not a personality flaw.