True Reflections Counseling, PLLC

True Reflections Counseling, PLLC Her diverse background has given her a deep understanding of the many ways people cope, adapt, and heal through life’s most challenging moments.

True Reflections Counseling, PLLC empowers individuals to explore their experiences, strengthen their sense of self, and pursue meaningful personal growth that is chosen by each individual. Tamara Beaber, LCSW

Tamara Beaber is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker with more than a decade of experience supporting individuals and families across a wide range of settings, including in‑home health care,

hospice and grief services, corrections, substance abuse treatment, and private practice. Tamara has worked with clients experiencing anxiety, depression, ADD/ADHD, PTSD, trauma, borderline personality disorder, identity concerns, self‑worth challenges, bipolar disorder, and many other emotional and behavioral health needs. Her clinical approach is rooted in meeting each person exactly where they are, honoring their lived experiences, and helping them uncover the strengths that already exist within them. She believes that meaningful change happens when clients feel empowered to define their own path. With compassion, curiosity, and steady guidance, Tamara supports individuals as they move toward the transformation they choose for themselves.

09/08/2026

Since September is national su***de prevention month, I'd like to share a story in hope it helps someone choose themselves. This is a true story I am sharing with permission.

No one would have guessed that someone like me would have suicidal thoughts and attempt. I pretended to be something I wasn't....ok. I plastered a smile on my face and got through each day the best I could, but on the inside, I felt like I was slowly dying. Until one day, I decided it was my time to truly die. Not because I wanted to, but because I did not know how to move forward carrying such a big secret.

I was 16 years old and the weight of the world was already heavy on my shoulders. What was the point of going on when I could not trust those who were supposed to love me and protect me? The ones who were supposed to be there for me, hurt me the most.

The physical, sexual, and emotional abuse began when I was around the age of 5 and continued for the next 5 years. The neglect began around the same time, but that never really stopped. By the time I was 10, I had been exposed to things a lot of adults have not seen. I was not equipped to handle such a burden, especially as a young child. So, I made a plan to end my suffering, wrote a note, and prepared myself for what I was about to do.

The longer I sat there, the more I started to think: "I wonder how long it will take them to notice?" "I wonder how long they will grieve my loss?" "I doubt it would even be a year." Then I had the thought that changed my life forever...."This is not fair to me. Why am I the one to pay the ultimate price for something that was done to me and outside of my control?" Then that thought led to: "I deserve a chance at a happy adulthood. I deserve to fight for myself."

I vowed from that day forward that I would love myself like I was never loved before. I would say yes to experiences that were never provided to me. I did my best in school because I thought that was the best way to have a happy future.

Pouring into myself was something I learned to do out of necessity because no adult in my life was going to take care of me the way I deserved. I'm so happy that I chose myself that day. I would never change what I went through because it has shaped who I am today and I can honestly say that I truly love the person I have become. Those events also led me to a career I love and am passionate about.

Eventually, with some help from a mental health therapist, I was able to heal from my childhood and even found a way to forgive. If you are struggling with suicidal thoughts, help is out there. Call 988 to talk to someone 24/7 if you are struggling with thoughts.

Kelsey and I also have immediate openings so call or text today.

Kelsey - (779) 717-8075 Tamara - (815) 663-9436

09/04/2026

One of my favorite things in the world is getting to celebrate a client’s win with them. It fills my heart with joy.

09/04/2026

Fear is a natural reaction — one that’s designed to keep us safe.

The interesting part is that the part of our brain responsible for fear hasn’t evolved much since the days when humans were running from dinosaurs and hiding in caves.

Only… there are no dinosaurs anymore. And most of us are safe the majority of the time.

So why does our brain still act like danger is everywhere?

A lot of it comes down to how we perceive the situations we face. When life starts “life‑ing,” our mindset often shifts toward the negative, especially when stress sticks around for too long. Our brain begins to misinterpret everyday challenges as threats, putting our body on high alert.

This is where 'reframing' becomes powerful.

Reframing means looking at a situation from a different, more balanced perspective.

Example: Instead of “I failed, I’m terrible at this,” reframing sounds like, “This didn’t go how I hoped, but it’s an opportunity to learn and try again.”

When stress builds, our brain releases adrenaline and cortisol — chemicals meant to help us fight, flee, freeze, or hide. These responses are helpful in true emergencies, but not when they’re activated day after day.

Prolonged exposure to cortisol and adrenaline can have real effects:

Short‑term effects:
- Trouble sleeping
- Irritability
- Racing thoughts
- Muscle tension
- Difficulty concentrating

Long‑term effects:
- Chronic fatigue
- Increased anxiety or depression
- Weakened immune system
- Digestive issues
- Burnout and emotional exhaustion

When our body stays in survival mode, it never gets the chance to fully relax, recover, or reset — and that takes a toll.

So how do we combat the fear response and help our brain feel safe again?

Ways to calm the fear response:

- Practice reframing. Challenge the first fearful thought and look for a more balanced interpretation.
- Ground yourself physically. Slow breathing, stretching, or sensory grounding helps signal safety to the nervous system.
- Limit overwhelm. Break tasks into smaller steps so your brain doesn’t interpret them as threats.
- Stay connected. Talking with someone supportive helps regulate fear and brings perspective.
- Create moments of calm. Even 2–3 minutes of quiet, deep breathing, or stepping outside can reset your stress response.
- Check your self-talk. Speak to yourself the way you would speak to someone you care about.
- Seek support when needed. Therapy can help you understand your fear patterns and build healthier responses.

Fear is part of being human — but it doesn’t have to run your life.

With awareness, compassion, and practice, you can teach your brain that you are safe, capable, and stronger than the moment you’re facing.

Standing up and facing your fears can be incredibly empowering. Need help facing those fears? Kelsey and I are here for you.

Call or text today:

Kelsey (779) 717-8075 Tamara (815) 663-9436

09/03/2026

There is a behavior that most of us have… but rarely recognize.

It often starts as a small choice — something that seems harmless in the moment — yet it can lead to much bigger negative consequences. And the hardest part?

We direct this behavior toward ourselves.

The behavior I’m talking about is self‑sabotage.

Self‑sabotage is when we get in our own way by making choices that block our progress, undermine our goals, or reinforce negative beliefs about ourselves — even when we genuinely want things to be different.

Here are 10 common examples of self‑sabotage many people experience:

1. Procrastinating even when you know it increases stress
2. Talking yourself out of opportunities
3. Setting unrealistic expectations that guarantee disappointment
4. Avoiding difficult conversations
5. Overcommitting and burning yourself out
6. Comparing yourself to others constantly
7. Engaging in negative self‑talk
8. Quitting when things get uncomfortable
9. Ignoring your needs or boundaries
10. Choosing relationships or environments that don’t support your growth

So if self‑sabotage hurts us… why do we do it?

There are several reasons, and they’re more common than you might think:

- Fear of failure — “If I don’t try, I can’t fail.”
- Fear of success — “What if I can’t maintain it?”
- Low self-worth — “I don’t deserve good things.”
- Comfort in the familiar — even when the familiar isn’t healthy
- Past trauma or negative experiences
- Avoidance of discomfort
- Believing change is too hard or too risky

The good news — and it is good news — is that self‑sabotage is absolutely something you can change.

Here are ways to break self‑sabotaging patterns:

- Increase awareness. Notice when you’re making choices that don’t align with your goals.
- Challenge negative self-talk. Replace “I can’t” with “I’m learning.”
- Set realistic, achievable goals. Small steps build confidence.
- Practice self-compassion. You’re not broken — you’re growing.
- Create accountability. Share your goals with someone supportive.
- Build tolerance for discomfort. Growth often feels awkward at first.
- Celebrate progress. Even tiny wins matter.
- Seek support. Therapy can help uncover the deeper patterns driving self‑sabotage.

If you’re noticing self‑sabotaging behaviors in your life and want support in changing them, we have immediate openings.

Call or text today — you don’t have to navigate this alone.

Tamara (815) 663-9436 Kelsey (779) 717-8075

09/02/2026

Gaslighting is the word of the day.

Why?

Because so many people use the term without fully understanding what it means — and even more people are experiencing it without realizing it.

"Gaslighting", in simple terms, is when someone causes you to doubt your own reality. They dismiss your feelings, deny things they said or did, or twist situations so you question your memory, your judgment, or even your sanity.

Below are ten simple examples of gaslighting that many people encounter without recognizing it:

1. “That never happened. You’re imagining things.”
2. “You’re too sensitive. It wasn’t that serious.”
3. “You’re overreacting — again.”
4. “I never said that. You must have misunderstood.”
5. “You’re remembering it wrong.”
6. “You’re crazy if you think that’s what happened.”
7. “Everyone agrees with me — you’re the problem.”
8. “I only act this way because of you.”
9. “You’re lucky I put up with you.”
10. “You’re making things up to start a fight.”

Gaslighting has real negative effects on a person’s mental and emotional well‑being.

When someone is repeatedly gaslit, they may begin to:

- Doubt their own memory (“Maybe I *am* remembering it wrong.”)
- Question their emotions (“Maybe I *am* too sensitive.”)
- Feel confused or disoriented (“I don’t know what’s real anymore.”)
- Lose confidence (“I can’t trust myself.”)
- Feel isolated (“Maybe no one will believe me.”)

Over time, this can lead to anxiety, depression, shame, and a deep sense of self‑doubt. It can make people feel small, powerless, and disconnected from their own inner voice.

So, what can you do if you realize you’re being gaslit?

Responding to gaslighting — in simple, empowering steps:

- Stay grounded in your truth. Remind yourself: "I know what I experienced."
- Set boundaries. You can say, “I’m not going to argue about my reality.”
- Avoid trying to convince them. Gaslighters often aren’t interested in understanding — they’re interested in control.
- Document things if needed. Writing down conversations or events can help you stay anchored.
- Reach out to safe people. Talk to someone who validates your experiences.
- Seek professional support. Therapy can help rebuild trust in yourself and strengthen your voice.
- Step back when possible. You don’t have to stay in conversations that feel manipulative or confusing.

Gaslighting is painful, disorienting, and deeply unfair — but you are not alone, and you are not “too sensitive,” “too emotional,” or “too much.” You deserve relationships where your feelings are respected, your experiences are believed, and your voice is valued.

If you’re struggling with gaslighting or emotional manipulation, support is available. You don’t have to navigate it alone.

Kelsey and I have immediate openings and accept most insurances. Reach out today.

Kelsey - (779) 717-8075

Tamara - (815) 663-9436

09/02/2026

Change is often something most people don’t like.

Why?

Because it takes us outside of our comfort zone — and that’s a place many of us avoid.

At some point, the focus quietly shifts from “How do I solve this problem?” to “I don’t think I can handle this.”

Somewhere along the way, you stop challenging yourself to be uncomfortable because staying in the comfort zone feels easier… safer… familiar.

But that’s also where complacency settles in.

And complacency leads to stagnation.

Personal growth almost always happens when we choose to step outside of our comfort zone and try something new.

A question I hear often is:
“If I try something new, how do I know I’ll like it?”

The truth is — you don’t.

But you also don’t know that you won’t like it.

The only way to find out is to try.

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Why people stay in their comfort zones
- Fear of failure — “What if I mess up?”
- Fear of judgment — “What will people think?”
- Fear of uncertainty — “I don’t know what will happen.”
- Low self-confidence — “I don’t think I can do it.”
- Past negative experiences — “Last time didn’t go well.”
- Overwhelm — “I don’t even know where to start.”
- Feeling safe in routine — “At least I know what to expect here.”

These reasons make sense — they’re human. But they also keep us from discovering new strengths, new joys, and new parts of ourselves.

How to challenge yourself to be more uncomfortable

- Start small. You don’t need to leap — you can step.
- Try one new thing a week. A new food, a new route home, a new hobby.
- Set tiny goals. “I will spend 5 minutes on this today.”
- Practice self-compassion. Growth is uncomfortable, not a sign of failure.
- Remind yourself of past successes. You’ve done hard things before.
- Allow mistakes. They’re part of learning, not proof you shouldn’t try.
- Celebrate effort, not outcome. Showing up is the win.

Tips for facing stressful situations

- Pause before reacting. A few slow breaths can shift your entire perspective.
- Break the situation into smaller pieces. One step at a time feels more manageable.
- Ground yourself physically. Notice your feet on the floor, your breath, your surroundings.
- Challenge catastrophic thinking. Ask yourself, “What else could be true?”
- Reach out for support. You don’t have to face stress alone.
- Focus on what you can control. Even small actions help you feel more empowered.
- Give yourself permission to learn. Stressful situations often teach us something valuable.

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Change isn’t easy — but it’s often the doorway to the life you’ve been wanting.
You don’t have to jump into discomfort; you just have to be willing to take one brave step outside the familiar.

Growth lives there.

Confidence grows there.

And you might just discover something new about yourself that you truly love.

Need help making changes? We are here to help. Call or text us today.

Tamara - (815) 663-9436 Kelsey - (779) 717-8075

09/01/2026

There is something that has been weighing heavily on my mind lately. It impacts far more people than most realize, and its effects run deep. It doesn’t just hurt in the moment—it invades your entire being, shaping how you think, feel, and move through the world.

What is this horror I’m referring to?

Abuse.

Abuse can take many forms, including:
• Physical abuse – hitting, pushing, restraining, or any form of physical harm.
• Emotional abuse – manipulation, gaslighting, name‑calling, humiliation, or controlling behaviors.
• Sexual abuse – unwanted sexual contact, coercion, or violation of bodily autonomy.
• Financial abuse – restricting access to money, sabotaging employment, or creating financial dependence.
• Psychological abuse – threats, intimidation, isolation, or fear‑based control.

Each form is damaging. Each form is real. And each form can trap a person in a cycle that feels impossible to escape.

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Understanding the Cycle of Abuse

Many abusive relationships follow a predictable pattern:
• Tension Building – walking on eggshells, trying to prevent an explosion.
• Incident – the abusive event: physical, emotional, sexual, or otherwise.
• Reconciliation – apologies, promises, gifts, or affection meant to “make up” for the harm.
• Calm – a temporary period where things feel better…until the tension begins again.

This cycle can make it incredibly difficult to leave. And unfortunately, many people do not leave the relationship, even when they desperately want to.

It’s easy to wonder why—but imagine being with someone who has the ability to significantly hurt you. How might that partner respond if you tried to leave? If children are involved, imagine fearing for their safety should you do anything that provokes your abusive partner.

Leaving is not always simple. It is not always safe. And it is never as easy as outsiders may think.

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So what can you do if you are being abused?

Here are some options that may help someone in an abusive relationship begin to reclaim their safety and autonomy:
• Talk to a trusted friend, family member, or professional who can help you think clearly and safely.
• Create a safety plan, including where you could go and what you would need if you had to leave quickly.
• Document incidents in a safe place if possible.
• Reach out to local domestic violence agencies for guidance, shelter, or legal support.
• Consider counseling to help you process what’s happening and strengthen your support system.
• Call emergency services if you are in immediate danger.
• Know that you deserve safety, respect, and peace.

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The bottom line is this: you have to love yourself enough to put your safety first.

Love is not always enough. Words are not always enough. On average, it takes a person two years to truly be themselves in a new relationship. This is why I teach my clients to examine behavior rather than relying solely on promises. If the behavior aligns with the words, then the words can be trusted.

Change is hard—but living in an abusive relationship is harder.

If you are in an abusive relationship and need help, there are amazing local resources available. Please reach out. You are not alone, and support is here.

08/31/2026

Confessions from Recovery

Recently, while getting a ride home from a meeting, I passed a local bar that is named One More. The slogan read, “One more drink, one more story…” For me, one more drink would lead to one more arrest. Another drink would lead me one more step away from my God. One more drink would take my sanity, causing me to lash out and forget about why I decided to get sober in the first place. I can’t have just one more drink. I’d have to have everything in the bar plus the liquor store down the street. And that still wouldn’t be enough. Before, I gave up everything for that one drink. Now, I have to give up that one drink to get everything back.

Yes, there are days I wish I could take the edge off, slow down, ease my mind. But alcohol doesn’t do that for me anymore, and looking back, I don’t think it ever truly did. Alcohol was a bandaid I put on a gaping wound. Unbeknownst to me at the time, it was making the wound worse, letting it bleed all over without any notice from me, seeping into my work life, home life, and overall health. Alcohol is a depressant! And it made me depressed!

Alcohol numbed me and kept me from facing the wounds I needed to heal. I thought it felt good at the time, letting me talk to others with no filter, dancing in the kitchen while dinner burned on the stove with apathy rushing through my veins. Nothing mattered. Not my progress or growth. Not my spiritual life. Just that drink. Just one more.

Darkness crept in. I was no longer having fun at the bar. No longer out with friends having just one more glass of w**e. I was alone, cradling a bottle I couldn’t put down. Completely alone, living with my thoughts that were drowning deeper into my soul. However, these thoughts and pains learned to swim. Suddenly, they grew bigger, feeding off the alcohol and my incoherent state. Alcohol sneaked up on me. It started overtaking every part of my life.

I couldn’t leave the house without some sort of substance. A pen hidden in my bra. Stanley cup filled with vodka. Trunk of car stashed with booze. A pre-roll in my pocket wrapped in overly perfumed tissue to hide the smell. Keeping up with my habits was time consuming and expensive. I felt too raw without the alcohol or ma*****na. I often wondered how other people weren’t constantly inebriated like me.

But then I found those people eventually. People who used me for money and insulted my kindness. People who never wanted me to get sober. People who wanted me to just have one more drink, one more hit. People who thought AA is a cult.

Going to rehab in 2020 planted the seed that sobriety is possible. Although, I didn’t get fully sober until early 2024. For so long, I was confused. Post Acute Withdrawal Symptoms (PAWS) lasted a good two years. My mind was fuzzy and everything felt challenging, even putting on my socks. I lost anything and everything that wasn’t attached to me. Work seemed impossible. Relationships suffered as all I wanted to do was sleep. Sobriety seemed like a good idea, but I was too flustered to consider it. The twelve steps looked like a mountain I wasn’t fit to climb.

I was a dry drunk for quite some time. Not drinking but not working on sobriety either. I felt like a wet towel, leaving trails of my sadness, anxiety, and guilt. Weighed down, I couldn’t get a grasp on my true self or what to do next.

In AA, you come. Then you come to. And then you come to believe. Starting in 2020, I did show up. Around 2024, I came to. Just now, I am really starting to believe in my higher power, my fellows, and that sobriety is obtainable. The first rule of sobriety is to avoid that first drink. Don’t let the genie out and get swept away by opening the bottle. Just let the cravings pass. Because they eventually do. Find something else to do. Anything but that first drink.

Today, I am thankful I continued with AA and counseling. For a long time, I felt like I just wasn’t getting it. How do people truly live sober? How is that possible? I see now that it is after all the seeds have been planted and I gave them time to grow. Each meeting I attend or each counseling session I go to, a little bit of my burden is dropped. The towel feels like it’s drying, not weighing me down as much. Thank God our bodies and minds can heal. There is no one more drink because it’ll take away all of my progress. I don’t want to start over. Getting sober is the hardest thing I have ever done. One more just isn’t worth it anymore.

08/24/2026

Confessions from Recovery

What sort of disease ruins a life, forcing a person to completely begin again? What sort of disease causes a person to face legal trouble, lose relationships, and get let go from jobs? What sort of disease takes a person's soul, wrings it out, and continues to haunt it day in and day out?

For me, that disease is alcoholism. Who knew that a socially acceptable substance would alter my life to the point that I can never taste it, touch it, or give in to it again? Never. I can never have it again. That seems dramatic, but it isn't. It is life or death. Every relapse brought more pain, more ER visits, and consequences. I was destroying myself. Now I am choosing not to.

In my experience, it is easier to stay sober than get sober. Every time I relapsed, it became harder to bounce back into normal life. After continually swimming in shame, depression, and anxiety, I have become sick and tired of being sick and tired. Alcohol is a depressant. No wonder it made me more sad, more anxious, more unwilling to participate in my own life. Alcohol eventually left me empty, even though I was doing my best to fill a void.

In 2022, I got a second DUI. I still don't have my full license back. The truth is I have about 18 months sober. I still blame myself for not staying sober since 2020 when I got my first DUI and started attending AA. Why didn't I get it right away? Why did I have to keep poking my disease, just to see if it is real? I realize now it is very real, a lurking presence that will always be there. Now that I am in a strong routine, it is easy to keep this presence further and further in the back of my mind. Where it belongs.

Alcoholism is a real disease. Something in my brain counteracts with alcohol, causing a gamble every time I drink. Anger was my typical emotion while drinking. Angry at everyone, especially God. I'd smash picture frames, glass candles, phones, anything I could get my hands on. I'd send rage texts that made no sense, only to end up blocked by friends. I was being pushed away because of my behavior. It wasn't me, though. It was the drink! No one seemed to care. Until I came to AA, and then it felt like everyone cared. My fellows care about my health, my mental state, my emotional wellbeing, the extra help I receive, and how to maintain a stable life. They push me in the right direction. And the light I dimmed with alcohol looks brighter every time I attend a meeting.

Taking accountability is hard. I don't want to admit that I was mean, careless, selfish. The thought of making amends just made me want to drink more. I kept digging and digging until eventually I stopped. I put the shovel down. I gave in to the idea of a new way of life.

My counselor has told me that the only person I should compare myself to is the old version of me. Now, I take deep breaths instead of sneaking alcohol in any corner. Now, I attend AA and have a fellowship I am apart of instead of hiding under blankets. Now, my mom believes in me, sees growth instead of constantly worrying about what I'll do next under the influence. God has helped me make amends when the time was right. Now, I can see clearly what is good for me and what is not.

It all took time. A lot of it. When I was dying for a drink, crying for something to take away my heightened anxiety, shaking hands, and pounding head, time felt impossible. Every second ticked by, hammering me down with memories of all the trouble I caused while drinking. But then, instead of seconds, minutes passed. And then hours, and then days. I was able to string together some real time of sobriety.

And it got easier.

It does get easier. Day by day with support. The pieces can be put back together. Old hurts can be mended and living amends are possible. What seemed impossible to me, maintaining sobriety, has become possible.

I am not as ashamed anymore. I've put in a lot of work. Two rehab stays. Intense outpatient treatment. Drug and alcohol classes. Counseling. Attending AA regularly and being an active member. After I realized I couldn't drink anymore, all I wanted to do was hide. But God hasn't set up the world this way. We need other people. We can't fight this disease alone. Alcohol isolated me but sobriety gave me a different life that is still unfolding. I'll keep doing what I've been doing because it's working: prayer, meditation, counseling, AA, being honest, and trying to love myself again. This new version of myself I've never met before.

For today, I'm beyond thankful I am sober. It's a better way to live. The fog has been lifted. Anxiety has lessened. I got my mornings back and many new positive friendships. I have support. I know where to turn if I feel myself veering off my path. I can make pitstops and get the help I need before going down a scraggly road that only leads to destruction. Enough excuses. Enough negativity. I can't pinpoint when the change fully occurred, but it has happened. And I thank everyone on my journey who has lent me words of advice, a listening ear, and a confirmation that if I just don't pick up the drink, I will be just fine.

08/24/2026

Introducing a new series.....Confessions from Recovery. These are real stories from those who have been in substance abuse recovery. The hope is that these stories will inspire those who are struggling by letting them know it can be done. By sharing what helped on their journey to recovery and what they learned along the way, tools and resources are provided as well. The first story will be posted later today, and I would love to hear how the story being shared inspired or helped you.

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