True Reflections Counseling, PLLC

10/21/2026

🌿 The 8 Dimensions of Wellness: Part 1 of 8

Physical Wellness

Occasionally, I will have a client tell me, "I don't know what to talk about. I just know I don't like myself, or I don't like how I feel, and I want things to change."

As a clinician, that response can feel like standing at the edge of a vast forest. We know there is a way forward, but the path is not always clear. The only way out is through, one step at a time.

That is why I am introducing an 8-part wellness assessment series over the next several weeks. By the end of this series, you will have a clearer picture of what is working well in your life, where you may be struggling, and what areas deserve more of your attention and energy.

When I worked as a substance abuse counselor, I found a worksheet called The 8 Dimensions of Wellness, developed by Dr. Peggy Swarbrick. This model recognizes that true wellness is about much more than physical health alone. It looks at eight important areas of life that influence our overall well-being:

✨ Physical
✨ Emotional/Mental
✨ Social
✨ Intellectual
✨ Spiritual
✨ Occupational
✨ Environmental
✨ Financial

One of the strengths of this model is the understanding that these dimensions are interconnected. When one area suffers, other areas are often affected as well. Likewise, growth in one area can positively influence many others.

Today, we begin with the Physical Dimension of Wellness.

What is Physical Wellness?

Physical wellness is the ability to care for your body in ways that support your overall health, energy, and quality of life. It includes sleep, nutrition, exercise, medical care, stress management, and daily habits that help your body function at its best.

Physical Wellness Self-Assessment

Take a moment to reflect on these questions:

✅ Am I getting enough sleep to feel rested most days?

✅ Do I regularly nourish my body with healthy foods and adequate hydration?

✅ Am I physically active in a way that supports my health and abilities?

✅ Do I attend routine medical, dental, and vision appointments when needed?

✅ How would I rate my overall energy level on a typical day?

There are no right or wrong answers. The goal is simply to increase awareness of where you are today.

Let's Dig a Little Deeper

If you could improve your physical wellness, what would that look like?

Consider these questions:

🤔 What physical habits would I most like to improve?

🤔 What activities help me feel healthy, energized, and strong?

🤔 What physical challenges or barriers are getting in my way?

🤔 If my physical wellness improved, how would my daily life be different?

🤔 What is one change I could realistically begin making within the next week?

How to Prioritize Physical Wellness Goals

Many people become overwhelmed because they focus on changing everything at once. Instead:

⭐ Identify the area causing the greatest concern.

⭐ Focus on the goal that would have the biggest positive impact on your daily life.

⭐ Choose progress over perfection.

⭐ Start with one goal rather than several competing goals.

⭐ Remember that small, consistent changes often create lasting results.

Breaking Goals into Simple Steps

A common mistake is creating goals that are too large or vague.

Instead of: ❌ "I want to get healthy."

Try: ✅ "I will walk for 10 minutes three times this week."

Instead of: ❌ "I need to sleep better."

Try: ✅ "I will turn off my phone 30 minutes before bedtime."

Instead of: ❌ "I need to lose weight."

Try: ✅ "I will drink one extra glass of water each day."

Instead of: ❌ "I should exercise more."

Try: ✅ "I will take the stairs whenever possible."

Remember:

🔹 Make goals specific.
🔹 Make goals realistic.
🔹 Make goals measurable.
🔹 Celebrate small wins.
🔹 Adjust as needed without judging yourself.

Growth rarely happens through giant leaps. More often, it happens through small steps taken consistently over time.

➡️ In our next post, we will explore the Emotional/Mental Dimension of Wellness and how our thoughts, feelings, and coping skills affect our overall well-being.

💙 You do not have to do this alone.

Tamara and Kelsey have immediate openings and can help guide you through all eight dimensions of wellness.

📞 Call or Text Today: (815) 663-9436

10/20/2026

🧠 The Thoughts We Keep to Ourselves Can Hurt Us the Most

Sometimes, the most damaging thoughts are the ones we never share.

When a painful or negative thought takes hold in our mind, it can feel like an emotional wound. The longer it goes unchallenged, the more it can impact our self-esteem, relationships, and overall well-being.

Unfortunately, there is no magic pill that instantly makes these thoughts disappear. However, becoming aware of them is often the first and most important step toward healing.

Mental health professionals refer to these harmful thought patterns as cognitive distortions, also known as thinking errors.

What are cognitive distortions?

Cognitive distortions are inaccurate or unhelpful ways of thinking that can negatively affect how we feel, behave, and view ourselves, others, and the world around us.

Common Cognitive Distortions

🔹 All-or-Nothing Thinking - Seeing situations in black-and-white terms, with no middle ground.

Examples: • "If I don't do this perfectly, I'm a total failure." • "I missed one workout, so I've completely ruined my progress."

🔹 Catastrophizing - Assuming the worst possible outcome will happen.

Examples: • "If I make a mistake during this presentation, I'll lose my job." • "My friend didn't text me back. Something terrible must have happened."

🔹 Overgeneralization - Taking one event and applying it to all situations.

Examples: • "I didn't get this job, so I'll never get hired anywhere." • "One relationship ended badly, so all relationships will fail."

🔹 Mind Reading - Assuming you know what others are thinking without evidence.

Examples: • "They didn't say hello, so they must not like me." • "Everyone at the meeting thinks I'm incompetent."

🔹 Personalization - Blaming yourself for things outside of your control.

Examples: • "My child's bad day is my fault." • "The party wasn't fun because of something I did."

🔹 "Should" Statements - Holding yourself or others to rigid expectations.

Examples: • "I should always be productive." • "People should never make mistakes."

How to Challenge Cognitive Distortions

✅ Pause and Identify the Thought Ask yourself: "What am I telling myself right now?"

Example: Instead of simply feeling anxious, recognize the thought: "I'm telling myself that if I make a mistake, everyone will judge me."

✅ Look for the Evidence Challenge the thought with facts.

Example: Thought: "Nobody likes me." Question: "What evidence do I actually have for that? Who in my life has shown they care about me?"

✅ Consider Alternative Explanations There is often more than one way to interpret a situation.

Example: Thought: "My friend didn't respond because they're upset with me." Alternative: "They may be busy, tired, or simply forgot to reply."

✅ Talk to Yourself Like a Friend Practice self-compassion.

Example: Instead of "I'm so stupid for making that mistake," try "Everyone makes mistakes. I'm learning and growing."

✅ Focus on What You Can Control Redirect your energy toward productive action.

Example: Instead of worrying, "What if I fail?" ask, "What can I do today to prepare and improve my chances of success?"

✅ Talk About It Thinking errors often lose their power when shared with a trusted person or mental health professional.

Example: Saying, "I've been telling myself I'm not good enough," can open the door to support, perspective, and healing.

💙 Do you find yourself struggling with these thinking errors?

You do not have to face them alone.

Tamara and Kelsey are here to help. We have immediate openings and accept most insurance plans.

📞 Call or Text Today: (815) 663-9436

Taking the first step toward healthier thinking can change the way you feel, the way you see yourself, and the way you experience life.

10/15/2026

TRC has joined Locally Starved! This is new and available to all local businesses and vendors. It helps the community locate various local businesses. It's free to join and is a great way to get your business listed locally.

Food, shops & events across the Illinois Valley. Fair-pay drivers. Merchants keep 100% of their revenue.

10/14/2026

Let’s talk about 'masking' for a moment — and no, not because Halloween is creeping up and the stores already have skeletons dancing next to Christmas trees.

Masking is something most of us do, whether we realize it or not. It’s a human behavior, not a spooky season accessory.

---

# # # **So what *is* masking?**
Masking is when someone hides their true feelings, reactions, or needs to appear “fine,” “easy,” or “normal” to others. It’s the emotional version of putting on a costume so you blend in.

Common examples:
- Saying “I’m good!” when you’re absolutely not good.
- Laughing along even though the joke wasn’t funny…or was actually hurtful.
- Pretending you understand something when your brain is screaming, “Nope.”
- Kids saying “nothing” when asked what they learned — not because they learned nothing, but because explaining feels overwhelming, vulnerable, or exhausting.

Masking helps people cope in the moment. It’s a way to avoid conflict, hide discomfort, or keep emotions from spilling out when the timing feels wrong.

But too much masking? That’s where problems start.

When masking becomes a problem

Masking can turn unhealthy when:
- You’re doing it so often you don’t know what you actually feel anymore.
- You’re drained from constantly performing instead of being yourself.
- You avoid sharing needs because you fear being judged or misunderstood.
- You feel disconnected from people because they only see the “masked” version of you.
- Your child starts melting down at home because they’ve spent all day masking at school.

Masking is meant to be a temporary strategy — not a lifestyle.

How to manage masking (and when to unmask)

A few simple best practices:
- Notice your signals. Tight shoulders, forced smiles, saying “it’s fine” too quickly — these are clues you’re masking.
- Check in with yourself. Ask, “What am I actually feeling right now?”
- Practice small unmasking moments. Share one honest thought with someone safe. You don’t have to rip the whole mask off at once.
- Give yourself permission to have needs. Needing help, space, clarity, or support is not weakness.
- Teach kids emotional vocabulary. Sometimes “nothing” really means “I don’t know how to explain it yet.”
- Create environments where authenticity feels safe. At home, at work, in relationships — safety reduces masking.

Unmasking isn’t about being raw and vulnerable 24/7. It’s about letting yourself be human without fear.

Need help taking the mask off?

Tamara and Kelsey at True Reflections Counseling in Spring Valley, IL are here to help you explore what’s underneath the mask — gently, safely, and with zero judgment.

Call or text (815) 663‑9436.

10/12/2026

Occasionally, I get asked, “Why does going through the past help me in the present.”
And honestly…fair question. If your childhood was calm, predictable, and free of major trauma, digging into the past might feel like flipping through an old photo album — interesting, but not life‑altering.

But for those who lived through things you wouldn’t wish on your worst enemy, the past isn’t just 'past'. It’s the blueprint your brain used while it was still under construction.

🧠 A quick, simple science moment

When kids experience trauma, their developing brain shifts into survival mode. Think of it like the brain saying, “We don’t have time to build the deluxe model — we need the emergency version.”

That means:
- The amygdala (the alarm system) grows extra sensitive.
- The prefrontal cortex (the calm, logical decision-maker) gets interrupted.
- The hippocampus (the memory organizer) can become overloaded.

In simple terms: the brain wires itself for danger, not peace.

🌱 **How this shows up later

These early wiring changes can shape:
- Thoughts — “I’m not safe,” “I’m the problem,” “Something bad is coming.”
- Feelings — anxiety, fear, guilt, shame, overwhelm.
- Perspective — expecting chaos, assuming blame, scanning for threats.
- Behaviors — people‑pleasing, shutting down, overexplaining, avoiding conflict, perfectionism, or reacts bigger than the situation calls for.

And here’s the kicker:
Even when the danger is long gone, the brain keeps using the same old wiring.
So childhood trauma becomes adulthood patterns — not because you’re broken, but because your brain adapted to survive.

🔍 So how do you start changing these patterns?

The first step is simply noticing them. A few helpful ways:
- Pay attention to your inner voice. If it sounds harsh, fearful, or hopeless, it may be old conditioning — not your true belief.
- Watch for “big reactions to small things.” These often point to old wounds, not current problems.
- Notice patterns that exhaust you. Overthinking, apologizing for everything, shutting down, or trying to be “perfect” are often survival habits.
- Ask yourself: “Is this reaction about now, or about then?”
- Practice new thoughts in small doses. The brain rewires through repetition, not perfection.
- Seek support. Healing is absolutely possible — but no one should have to do it alone.

💛 If this feels daunting, you don’t have to face it by yourself.
Tamara and Kelsey at True Reflections Counseling in Spring Valley, IL have immediate openings and would be honored to walk with you through the healing process — gently, safely, and at your pace.

Call or text today: (815) 663‑9436.

10/06/2026

Marriage is beautiful, complicated, and occasionally messy — and when one partner has depression or trauma while the other doesn’t, the dance becomes even more delicate. But with the right tools, it’s not only manageable… it can strengthen your bond in ways you never expected.

My husband and I have spent years building a communication system that helps us navigate my depression with clarity instead of confusion. It’s simple, honest, and has made a world of difference.

Here’s the structure we use:

Step 1: Acknowledge the episode.
This is the moment of truth — admitting to yourself and your partner that depression is showing up again.

Step 2: Give a number.
I use a 1–10 scale (1 = none). This helps my husband understand the intensity and what symptoms may appear.

Step 3: Ask for the support you need.
Partners aren’t mind readers. Telling them exactly what you need removes fear and builds teamwork.

A typical conversation might sound like:
“Hey, do you have a minute? I’m noticing some depression cues and think I’m sliding into an episode. I’m at a 3 right now and managing okay. I’d like you to keep an eye on me so we catch it early if it worsens.”

This simple structure reduces worry for your partner and ensures you get timely, appropriate support.

If you’re navigating mental illness within your relationship and need guidance, True Reflections Counseling is here to help you build tools that work.

Call or text (815) 663‑9436.
Immediate openings available.

09/28/2026

Coming off the weekend, I’ve been reflecting on what I accomplished… and what I absolutely did not. My brain loves to keep a running tally of everything, but keeping it all straight feels like trying to juggle flaming bowling pins while riding a unicycle. Out of fear of forgetting something important, I start mentally rehearsing my to‑do list on repeat — which is exactly when things get messy.

Instead of being present, I’m up in my head. Then the classic ADHD bloopers begin: dropping things, forgetting things, walking into a room and immediately wondering who I am, why I’m there, and whether I’ve always owned that lamp.

And yes, I can hear you thinking, “Why not just write it down?”
Ah. If only it were that simple.

For ADHD brains, a to‑do list can turn into a full‑blown engineering blueprint. I might start with “laundry” and “dishes,” but suddenly my brain is breaking each task into 47 micro‑steps, reorganizing them, rewriting them, editing them again because the order changed, and then starting over because the list is now “too messy” and visually offensive. And if I don’t have something handy to write with? Forget it. Even stopping to type it into my phone feels physically painful if I’m already mid‑task.

So yes — a “simple” to‑do list is not so simple for a brain like mine. And I know I’m not alone in this.

Here are some tips to make a to‑do list without overcomplicating it:

- Use the Rule of Three — list only three things you want to accomplish today. Not every step. Not every detail. Just three outcomes.
- Make it a “Could Do” list instead of a “Must Do” list — it reduces pressure and increases follow‑through.
- Use one‑word anchors — “laundry,” “dishes,” “email,” “call.” Your brain already knows the steps; you don’t need to write them.
- Try time‑based tasks instead of step‑based tasks — “15 minutes of cleaning” is far less overwhelming than “clean the kitchen.”
- Voice notes count — if typing feels impossible, speak it into your phone and move on.
- Start with the easiest thing — momentum is a powerful ADHD tool.

And a quick note on behavioral activation, because ADHD makes this harder than people realize:
ADHD brains struggle with task initiation due to differences in executive functioning and reward processing. It’s not laziness — it’s neurology. Activation often requires external structure, novelty, accountability, or breaking the “starting barrier” with something small and achievable. Once you’re moving, the brain warms up and tasks become easier.

If your brain works like mine, you’re not broken — you’re wired differently. And with the right strategies, you can work with your brain instead of fighting it.

Here’s to a week of doing what you can, letting go of what you can’t, and remembering that your worth has never been measured by your productivity.

If this seems impossible to tackle on your own, the TRC team is here to help. Call or text today (815) 663-9436

09/24/2026

Something I often reflect on is this: *What on earth could I have accomplished in life if teenage‑me had even a fraction of the knowledge adult‑me has now?*

Honestly, I picture my younger self walking around like a tiny people‑pleasing intern who took everyone’s opinions as gospel, doubted every decision, and believed her job was to stay small so the world didn’t trip over her. If I could go back, I’d at least hand her a sticky note that says, “You’re allowed to take up space. Also, stop apologizing to inanimate objects.”

I think about all the things I talked myself out of doing because I didn’t believe I could… or because I was terrified someone might *gasp* have an opinion about it. But here’s the twist: even if time travel were an option, I don’t think I’d change a thing. Every experience — the hard ones, the confusing ones, the ones that made me shrink — shaped who I am today. And it has taken a lifetime to learn to love that person, see her value, and respect her.

That’s a lesson I hope reaches someone long before their mid‑40s. But if you’re already there or beyond it, don’t worry. You’re not late. You’re right on time for your own growth.

Stop limiting yourself with “Why even try.” Shift it to “I want to see what I can achieve.” You are stronger than you think, braver than you recognize, and worth every minute of your time and every ounce of your energy.

Invest in yourself.
Prioritize your needs before saying yes to anyone.
And above all, don’t feel bad for telling others no when your energy tank is flashing “low battery.”

Your future self will thank you — probably with a sticky note.

Tired of being the last one you think about, we can help. We accept most insurances and have immediate openings. Call or text today (815) 663-9436.

09/21/2026

Self‑boundaries… the quiet little rules we set for ourselves that sound simple in theory but sometimes feel like wrestling a raccoon in real life.

Some are easy — “Don’t eat after 7 PM,” “Brush your teeth,” “Go to bed before midnight.”
These are the self‑boundary equivalent of a gentle tap on the shoulder. Manageable. Predictable. Mostly painless.

And then there are the other self‑boundaries.
The ones that require actual effort, emotional energy, and consistency — like staying aware of your thoughts, challenging unhealthy thinking with evidence, or choosing not to spiral into worst‑case scenarios. These boundaries take work, and some days they feel like trying to hold onto a greased watermelon.

But here’s the thing: self‑boundaries are meant to help us stay on track… not beat us up. And sometimes, without realizing it, they can do more harm than good.

When self‑boundaries become harmful

Self‑boundaries can backfire when they are:
- Too strict — leaving no room for flexibility, humanity, or life happening
- Unrealistic — setting expectations you couldn’t meet even on your best day
- Punitive — becoming more about self‑criticism than self‑care
- Perfectionistic — turning into “all or nothing” rules that make you feel like a failure if you slip once

When boundaries cross into these territories, they stop guiding you and start shaming you — and that’s not what they’re meant for.

Why someone might choose strict or unrealistic self‑boundaries

People often set harsh self‑rules because:
- They’re trying to feel in control when life feels overwhelming
- They fear failure and believe strictness will prevent it
- They grew up with high expectations and internalized them
- They’re trying to compensate for anxiety, ADHD, trauma, or perfectionism
- They believe structure equals safety and more structure equals more safety

Strict boundaries usually come from a good intention — wanting to do better, feel better, or be better — but without balance, they can create pressure instead of progress.

A gentle reminder

Self‑boundaries should support you, not scare you.
They should guide you, not guilt you.
They should help you grow, not make you feel small.

If you think you may need help establishing healthy self‑boundaries — or want to check whether the ones you have are actually serving you — we are here to help.

Kelsey and I have immediate openings.
Call or text today: (815) 663‑9436.

09/17/2026

Living with ADHD has forced me to get *really* honest with myself — and honestly, sometimes I wish my brain would give me a break.

There’s one behavior I see in almost every ADHDer I work with… and definitely in myself. It shows up in our homes, our jobs, our relationships, our hobbies, our laundry baskets, our email inboxes — everywhere.

Procrastination.

Not the “I’ll do it later” kind. The *ADHD kind.* The kind that feels like your brain hits a wall even when you *want* to get things done.

Why ADHD and procrastination are so connected

ADHD affects the brain’s executive functioning — the part responsible for planning, prioritizing, organizing, and starting tasks.

Research shows that ADHD brains struggle with:
- Initiation — getting started feels like climbing a mountain
- Working memory — forgetting steps or losing track mid‑task
- Motivation regulation — needing interest, novelty, or urgency to activate

So procrastination isn’t laziness. It’s a neurological pattern.

Task paralysis: procrastination’s close cousin

Task paralysis happens when your brain freezes at the thought of starting something. It’s linked to:
- Overwhelm — too many steps, too many decisions
- Perfectionism — fear of doing it “wrong”
- Low dopamine — the ADHD brain struggles to spark motivation without urgency
- Time blindness — difficulty sensing how long something will take

Task paralysis looks like procrastination, but it feels like being stuck in quicksand.

Tips to help manage procrastination and task paralysis

- Break tasks into micro‑steps
Instead of “clean the kitchen,” try “put dishes in sink,” “wipe counters,” “take out trash.”
- Use external structure
Timers, alarms, visual checklists, body doubling, or setting a 5‑minute “just start” window.
- Reduce the decision load
Lay out materials ahead of time, choose between two options instead of ten, simplify steps.
- Pair tasks with dopamine
Music, movement, a reward afterward, or doing the task with someone.
- Practice self‑compassion*
You’re not broken. Your brain just works differently — and that’s okay.

How this impacts relationships

As ADHD thrivers, it’s important to recognize how procrastination and task paralysis can affect the people around us — especially those with 'Type A personalities'.

A 'Type A personality' is someone who is highly organized, structured, driven, punctual, and efficiency‑focused. They thrive on order and predictability.

So when they see procrastination or task paralysis, they may misinterpret it as:
- Laziness
- Carelessness
- Lack of follow‑through
- Not caring about shared responsibilities

This can create tension, misunderstandings, or hurt feelings.

The key: open and honest communication

Talk about:
- What ADHD procrastination actually feels like
- What triggers your task paralysis
- What support helps you get started
- What expectations are realistic
- How you can work together instead of against each other

Honesty with yourself and with the people you care about is one of the most powerful tools for managing ADHD within relationships.

If you think you might be struggling with ADHD symptoms, we are here for you.

Call or text (815) 663‑9436 for a free consultation.