04/19/2026
While this is very true, while these things were never truly ours to carry, we do. Some of the things on this list become the hard work we do in therapy to unlearn the harmful patterns of behaviors that are damaging our relationships or to become a better parent.
Deep, intergenerational healing is hard. There is strong epigenetic evidence that our DNA is literally altered when we experience violence [https://www.nature.com/articles/s41598-025-89818-z] and that those changes are passed down 3 generations. We are very much carrying the trauma of our ancestors.
But I think we also need studies that look at the DNA of those who choose to heal as well. If negative survival based markers can be turned on by trauma, can’t we also turn them off or create new markers rooted in resilience when we heal our own trauma or change the patterns rooted in it even if it is intergenerational?
I believe it can. I see it happen.
Even if our ancestors were not able to experience safety, security, abundance, and prosperity the fact that we are here means they survived. They did not survive for you to suffer. They survived so you could continue the healing work. They survived so you could have what they did not.
They survived so you could have the opportunity to heal and have more choices and to feel deeply resourced in all areas of life.
They survived because you were the hope that kept them going.
They want you to have peace, safety, happiness, and love.