Slade-Waggoner Counseling Services PA

Slade-Waggoner Counseling Services PA Provides mental health counseling and marriage and family counseling

06/03/2026

Have you ever felt like the narcissist in your life controls everything?

Your emotions.
Your peace.
Your future.
Your relationships.

If so, you’re not alone.

One of the greatest illusions narcissists create is the belief that they are all-powerful. They want you to believe they control everything so you feel defeated, hopeless, and too exhausted to fight back.

But that is not reality.

The next time you feel overwhelmed by a narcissist’s control, try this exercise:

Write down a list of everything the narcissist cannot control.

They cannot control:
• Your prayers
• God’s plans for your life
• Your healing
• Your future
• Your purpose
• The weather
• The tides
• The sunrise
• The stars
• God’s timing
• God’s justice
• God’s protection
• God’s ability to sustain you

The list gets very long very quickly.

Here’s why this matters.

A bird can appear bigger than a mountain when it flies close to your face. Not because the bird is bigger, but because your perspective is distorted.

The same thing happens when you’re focused on a narcissist.

Their power feels enormous because they’re close to your life and constantly demanding your attention.

But when you compare their power to God’s power, reality becomes clear.

The narcissist is the bird.

God is the mountain.

Psalm 147:5-6 reminds us:

“Great is our Lord and mighty in power; His understanding has no limit. The Lord sustains the humble but casts the wicked to the ground.”

The narcissist is not all-powerful.

God is.

The narcissist is not in control of everything.

God is.

Don’t allow fear, manipulation, or abuse to distort your perspective.

A bird is not bigger than a mountain.

And a narcissist is not more powerful than God.



Save this post for the next time a narcissist tries to make you feel powerless.

06/01/2026

One of the most common questions people ask is:

“Do narcissists know what they’re doing?”

The answer is complicated.

Sometimes yes.
Sometimes no.

At times, narcissists genuinely believe the distorted reality they have created in their minds. They see themselves as victims, heroes, misunderstood people, or individuals entitled to special treatment.

When reality challenges that self-image, their minds often create excuses, blame-shifting narratives, and distorted explanations that protect their ego.

But at other times, narcissists know exactly what they’re doing.

They know which buttons to push.
They know how to guilt-trip.
They know how to manipulate.
They know how to play the victim.
They know how to pressure people into giving them what they want.

The important thing to understand is this:

Whether the narcissist is acting out of delusion or acting intentionally, the result for you is often the same.

Confusion.
Frustration.
Emotional exhaustion.
Chaos.
And a constant feeling that you’re living in a different reality than they are.

Many people spend years trying to answer the question:

“Do they know what they’re doing?”

A better question is:

“How do I protect myself from the behavior?”

Because you cannot control their awareness.

You cannot force insight.

You cannot make a narcissist suddenly become accountable.

What you can do is learn to recognize manipulation, set healthy boundaries, stop arguing with distorted reality, and protect your peace.

The goal is not getting the narcissist to understand.

The goal is understanding the narcissist well enough that their manipulation no longer controls your life.

05/31/2026

One of the most dangerous mistakes people make when dealing with narcissists is confusing occasional kindness with genuine character.

Narcissists can be charming.

They can be generous.

They can be helpful.

They can appear loving, caring, spiritual, successful, and trustworthy.

But appearances can be deceiving.

Many narcissists carefully cultivate a public image that hides who they really are behind closed doors.

That’s why so many survivors struggle to get others to believe them.

People see the narcissist’s charm.
You see the manipulation.

People see the kindness.
You see the control.

People see the public mask.
You see the private reality.

Here are 4 truths to remember:

1. A narcissist can do kind things without being a genuinely kind person.
2. A narcissist can support good causes without having good motives.
3. A narcissist can appear loving, spiritual, and respectable in public while being emotionally abusive in private.
4. Occasional acts of kindness do not erase a consistent pattern of manipulation, control, gaslighting, intimidation, or abuse.

This is why it’s so important to judge patterns, not isolated moments.

Don’t ask:
“Have they ever been nice to me?”

Ask:
“What is the consistent pattern of this relationship?”

Healthy people create safety, trust, accountability, empathy, and respect.

Narcissists often use kindness strategically when it benefits them.

Protect your peace by paying attention to patterns, not performances.

05/29/2026

One of the biggest lies narcissists tell is that protecting yourself is the same as being deceptive.

It isn’t.

There is a huge difference between narcissistic deception and using the godly tools of timing and discretion.

Narcissists hide information to protect their control, image, selfishness, and ability to continue harmful behavior without accountability.

Their deception is designed to manipulate reality and keep others in the dark.

Biblical discretion is completely different.

Discretion is wisdom.

Discretion is protection.

Discretion is knowing when information is safe to share and when it is not.

If you are dealing with a controlling, manipulative, or abusive narcissist, you do not have to share every detail of your life with them.

In fact, doing so may give them ammunition to use against you later.

Proverbs 4:23 says:

“Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.”

Guarding your heart is not lying.

It’s wisdom.

Sometimes wisdom means waiting until you have a safe plan before disclosing important information.

Sometimes wisdom means securing housing, finances, legal protection, support systems, and resources before telling a narcissist you are leaving.

That is not deception.

That is safety.

The difference is motive.

Narcissists hide information to control and exploit.

Healthy people use timing and discretion to protect themselves and prevent further harm.

You are not required to hand personal information to someone who repeatedly weaponizes it against you.

Protecting yourself is not selfish.

It is wise.

And wisdom is biblical.

05/29/2026

One of the most important skills you can develop when dealing with a narcissist is learning the difference between an explanation and an excuse.

Healthy people explain.

Narcissists make excuses.

A genuine explanation includes:
• accountability
• honesty
• empathy
• personal responsibility
• and a desire to create understanding

When someone gives a sincere explanation, you typically leave the conversation feeling more clarity, more trust, and more peace.

Excuses do the opposite.

Excuses are often filled with:
• blame-shifting
• defensiveness
• minimizing
• denial
• gaslighting
• and avoidance of accountability

Instead of helping you understand what happened, excuses leave you feeling confused, frustrated, hurt, and questioning reality.

This is why conversations with narcissists can feel so exhausting.

You ask for clarity.

They give you confusion.

You ask for accountability.

They give you excuses.

You ask for understanding.

They give you blame.

Pay attention to how you feel after someone explains their behavior.

Do you feel more clarity and peace?

Or do you feel more confused, anxious, guilty, and unsure of what actually happened?

That answer often tells you everything you need to know.

As Matthew 10:16 reminds us, we are called to be “wise as serpents and innocent as doves.”

Don’t let excuse-making replace reality.

Trust patterns.
Trust actions.
Trust what is consistently revealed over time.

05/26/2026

Narcissists create deep emotional pain, anger, grief, confusion, and frustration.

And one of the healthiest things you can do is safely process those emotions instead of carrying them silently inside yourself.

One exercise that can help is writing an “unsent text” in the notes section of your phone.

Not to send.
Not to attack.
Not to reconnect with the narcissist.

But to release the pain.

Many survivors of narcissistic abuse spend years suppressing their anger, silencing their voice, second-guessing themselves, and carrying emotional wounds they never fully processed.

Writing an unsent message allows you to:
• express emotions honestly
• process grief and anger
• regain clarity
• reconnect with your voice
• and emotionally detach from the narcissist’s control

Sometimes healing begins by finally saying what your nervous system never felt safe enough to say.

And for many survivors, part of healing is remembering this:

The narcissist is not all-powerful.

God sees the manipulation.
God sees the injustice.
God sees your tears.
And evil does not reign forever.

You are not powerless.
You are not forgotten.
And you do not have to stay emotionally trapped in pain forever.

Healing is possible.
Peace is possible.
And freedom is possible.

05/26/2026

When a narcissist is trying to overpower, gaslight, shame, intimidate, or emotionally dominate you in a conversation, one of the most powerful things you can do is shift the focus back onto THEIR behavior through calm, self-reflective questions.

Here are 6 questions that often silence narcissists because they force them into self-awareness and accountability:

“Are you open to the possibility that you could be wrong?”

“Why do you need everyone to see things your way?”

“How have you contributed to this conflict?”

“How would you feel if someone spoke to you the way you’re speaking to me right now?”

“What do you want to change about yourself?”

“What are you going to do differently so this doesn’t happen again?”

Narcissists typically struggle with:• self-reflection• accountability• empathy• admitting fault• collaboration• and accepting perspectives outside their own

That’s why these questions can completely disrupt their attempts to manipulate or overpower you.

And here’s the important part:

You do not need to argue endlessly with a narcissist to reclaim your dignity.

Sometimes the strongest thing you can do is calmly ask a truth-centered question, recognize their silence or defensiveness for what it is, and emotionally detach from the chaos.

Healthy communication requires humility and accountability from BOTH people.

Narcissists often want control, not resolution.

Protect your peace accordingly.

05/22/2026

I wrote my books because so many people dealing with narcissistic abuse could not afford counseling… but still desperately needed help, clarity, validation, and practical tools.

Don’t Let Their Crazy Make You Crazy was written to help people stay sane and strong while dealing with narcissists. It includes practical strategies for boundaries, emotional detachment, staying calm during conflict, understanding narcissism, protecting your peace, and learning how to communicate with difficult people.

And because so many parents asked me how to help their children cope with a narcissistic parent, I wrote Don’t Let Their Crazy Make Your Kids Crazy to help families teach children healthy boundaries, emotional safety, power dynamics, triangulation awareness, and resilience after narcissistic abuse.

Healing should not only be available to people who can afford therapy.

That’s why I wrote the books.

And yes… Lizzie has officially become my emotional support dog and accidental podcast co-host.

05/22/2026

Narcissists are not open to healthy correction, feedback, collaboration, accountability, or different perspectives.

Why?

Because narcissism is built on superiority, entitlement, and control.

To a narcissist:
• Their perspective is the only correct perspective.
• Disagreement feels like disrespect.
• Feedback feels like an attack.
• Collaboration feels like loss of control.
• Accountability feels humiliating.

This is why trying to reason with a narcissist often leaves you emotionally exhausted and deeply frustrated.

You explain.
You clarify.
You communicate calmly.
You try to compromise.
You try to solve the problem together.

But healthy problem-solving requires humility, empathy, self-awareness, and mutual respect.

And narcissists typically resist all four.

Biblically speaking, Proverbs repeatedly describes this type of rigid, prideful, correction-resistant behavior as foolishness.

Wise people absorb wisdom, correction, insight, and prudent words.

Narcissists do not.

Instead, they scorn correction, reject input, resist accountability, and insist on their own way regardless of the damage it causes other people.

That is why relationships with narcissists become so emotionally toxic.

You cannot build healthy connection with someone who refuses:
• self-reflection
• accountability
• empathy
• collaboration
• or truth

It becomes:
“My way or no way.”

And eventually, many people trapped in narcissistic relationships realize they are not actually in a relationship built on mutual understanding.

They are in a system built around managing the narcissist’s ego.

Recognizing this truth is painful.
But it is also freeing.

Because once you stop expecting emotional maturity from someone committed to control and superiority, you can begin protecting your peace, setting boundaries, and seeing reality clearly.

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