09/09/2026
Nobody says the word out loud.
They come at it sideways. “Could this be something neurological?” “My mother had dementia.”
Then they stop and wait to see if I’ll say it for them.
I usually do. Not because I think they have it — because a fear carried silently gets larger, and
said out loud in a room with a physician it usually gets smaller.
Here’s what I’ve noticed after enough of these conversations: the people most frightened by
their brain fog are almost always the people paying closest attention to it. That vigilance is itself
reassuring, and it’s the opposite of what I see in someone whose memory is genuinely failing.
If this is sitting in the back of your mind, bring it to your next appointment. It’s a normal thing to
ask.
What’s the question you’ve been meaning to ask your doctor but haven’t?