09/10/2025
This 100,000,000%.
Another thing about couples counseling: 99% of the time one spouse (or both) is actively trying to get the counselor on their side to make the other out to be the bad guy. This way, the aggressor doesn't have to acknowledge the crazy they've tried to hide from themselves for years.
It's almost always the wife that does this. And most counselors, especially women, fall for the trap every time.
Women will hide behind "couples counseling" and use it as a block to dodge personal accountability, which must come before healing.
If I point out in a couples session that I'd like to work with the husband individually to fix things, the wife is always eager. But if I say the same to her, she does everything possible to avoid it, even verbally attack me and storm out of the office.
99% of the time, there's childhood trauma in these women, but rather than try to fix it, it's easier to find someone to attack, and the husband is the nearest target.
Many female victims of childhood sexual abuse will also begin to psychologically and emotionally experience their husbands, who never did any such thing, as their abuser.
It's a form of psychological projection, and it's real.
The husbands are blindsided and treated as though they are the abuser, and many wives become sexually cold or report feeling disgust at the thought of being intimate with their husbands, even if they eventually do it.
These wounds must be healed to achieve a healthy marriage.
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