Dr. Denim Slade

30/10/2026

Dating well is not something anyone automatically knows how to do. Just like most things, dating is a skill.

You have to learn what to pay attention to, how to make sense of it, and then practice until you get good at it. If you’re not good at dating yet, that doesn’t mean it’s hopeless. It’s just where you are on the learning curve.

The real question is whether or not, you’re willing to take the steps to get good at it?

28/10/2026

She was sitting on the couch. He walked in and sat in the leather chair instead of sitting next to her.

And she interpretedhere’s the part that that as: “You’re upset at me. You don’t want to be close to me.”

Halfway through the session, we finally talked about it. He said, “Sometimes you just want to sit in a chair where you can have your arms up.”

I wrote those words down and asked her, What do those words mean?

She said, “That he doesn’t want to sit by me.”

No. “I don’t want to sit by you” are the words that would mean that. His words meant that sometimes he likes his arms supported. Period.

That’s not behavior. That’s an interpretation of behavior.

The thing most of us get tripped up on is that most of the time we don’t even realize we’re doing it. We take our interpretations and treat them as facts, then we respond to the interpretation instead of to the person in front of us.

How many arguments in your life are really about the chair?

The accurate or correct interpretation of an interpersonal event is whatever the sender meant, not what the receiver believed or assigned. And so if I want to be accurate in my interpretations, I have to find out what the sender meant.

26/10/2026

23/10/2026

Your brain needs problems to solve and movement to create. Every single day.

That’s not just because you’re restless or can’t sit still. It’s because that’s how the R (Doer) brain is wired; it doesn’t really matter what the problem is: a project, a team, a challenge, a fix. Your brain needs something to work on and forward motion in order to thrive.

For example, in real life: you say you’re done coaching. You’re looking forward to sitting on the sidelines.

And then your kid asks you to help, and you’re back in it. Not because you had to be, but because that’s how your brain works. When something comes to your attention that needs to be done, it’s hard for you not to tackle it. Your brain is always subconsciously looking for the next thing to move.

That’s how you were built. And it’s a lot easier to work with once you actually know it’s there.

So how do you know if you’re an R (The DOER)? You take the CORE assessment.

Comment COREASSESSMENT, and we’ll send you the assessment link so you can find out.

22/10/2026

“You can’t expect healthy things from unhealthy people.”

I say that a lot. And when I ask, “Who’s unhealthy?” the answer is everyone. Including me. Including you.
That doesn’t mean something is wrong with us. It means we’re human. All of us carry blind spots, old wounds, trauma, patterns we haven’t healed yet. That’s the baseline.

If I expect everyone around me to show up perfectly healthy, to always respond well, to always be regulated, to always get it right, then ironically, I’m the one who’s out of line. I’m the one expecting something that doesn’t exist.

That doesn’t mean we accept harm or stop growing. It means we stop being shocked when imperfect people behave imperfectly, and we look for people who are interested in working toward creating and maintaining a healthy relationship with us.

Expectation management is a form of grace, for them and for yourself.

21/10/2026

If you’re a Connector, early dating feels unsettling. You don’t know where you stand yet. So you watch them: do they like me? Do they feel comfortable?

Until you lose track of perhaps the most important question: Do I actually like them? You have to effectively figure that out. Notice it now. You’ll learn what it means later.

Comment COREASSESSMENT and find out of you are a Connector!

Dr. Slade

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04/05/2026

That feeling of being pulled in and pushed away... it's more than just frustrating. It can actually be a powerful conditioning loop, almost like a neurological hook.

The constant back and forth can trigger the same reward pathways as gambling. So, are you in a relationship that feels more like a rollercoaster than a connection?

Maybe it's time to step back and see if you're bonding or just hooked. What are your experiences with push-pull dynamics?

02/05/2026

Ending a relationship is tough, no doubt about it. But sometimes, it's honestly the best thing for both people. Have you ever felt that way?

If you've really taken the time to find someone compatible, then a breakup can actually be a sign of growth. It means you recognize when things aren't working and you're not afraid to make the hard choice.

It takes real skill to navigate those emotions and end things with grace. What's your best advice for ending a relationship well?

Let's share some tips!

30/04/2026

Ever wonder what happens when you don't actively deal with your feelings? It's simple: your brain steps in. It has to find a way to cope, one way or another.

But here's the thing: left to its own devices, your brain isn't always the best at handling those tough emotions. It might choose coping mechanisms that aren't exactly healthy.

So, what if we took charge? What if we learned to guide our brains towards better ways of coping?

What are some healthy coping mechanisms that you use? Let's share some ideas!

28/04/2026

Feeling the weight of heartbreak? It's heavy, I know. But here's the thing: the intensity of your pain doesn't mean you messed up.

It doesn't mean you're weak or that love passed you by. It simply means you're a person who cares deeply.

And your mind is working hard to navigate this. Sending you strength today.

What helps you heal after heartbreak? Share your tips below!