Real Connections Counseling

08/30/2026

Faith is not a means to an end, as if we have the means to determine the end. Faith is simply ... enough.

08/30/2026

We have to leave room for fun posts, sometimes! Yesterday we celebrated the adoption of our daughter and Real Connections Therapist Alyssa Elgersma. What do you do to celebrate your family?

08/27/2026

Everybody around you seems to be smellin’ like daisies while the two of you are trapped inside a relationship fire, desperately trying to douse it before anyone outside smells the smoke.

You look okay on the outside because you still go to work, get the kids where they need to go, laugh with friends, attend church, and answer “How are you two?” with “Good.”

Behind the answer, both of you are fighting the same fire from different sides. One of you throws more words at it, like a fire hose hoping the right conversation will finally put it out, while the other craves … no, strains for silence, distance, work, the kids, sleep, anything! Anything to get one more day without another explosion.

Each move makes sense to the person making it, yet neither of you can get far enough outside the fire to understand why it keeps starting again.

Meanwhile, every screen offers another anniversary, date night, smiling family, or tribute to somebody’s “best friend,” and the comparison leaves you wondering why love seems so natural for everyone except you.

Couples can look beautiful on the outside while both people are burning themselves out trying to save the relationship from the inside.

Real Connections created our Exclusive Signature Intensive Retreat for the couple who needs more than another hurried hour, another polite conversation, and another week of trying to contain the damage alone.

Across two nights and three days at The Aerie Loft in Winterset, Rick and Monique work together as one CoTherapy team with one couple only, giving both of you privacy, lodging, meals, guided relationship work, and our full attention.

Nobody at Real Connections expects daisies. Bring us the real relationship you are living now, and will turn it into a real connection. 

Learn more about your private retreat experience happening October 21-23 2026:

https://realconnectionscounseling.com/couples-counseling/ -intensives

08/27/2026

08/27/2026

Each quarter Real Connections staff goes for 2 1/2 full days of planning and exploring what Real Connections can be. The better we are, the better we become, the better all of you are who spend time with us! We counsel, we life coach… But we do real life, real family life just like all of you. So let me take you along with us for a tiny tour of our planning, and what we’re doing right now.

Where we staying you ask? That’s a great question. We are staying at the Aerie Loft in Winterset, Iowa, which is also the home of our all-inclusive, exclusive signature retreat for a single couple. Man, we can’t wait to show you what that’s all about. It’s super cool.

One couple… Just one of you who is interested in a retreat with us here on October 21 through the 23rd. You’ll get exclusive time with us, and you will enjoy all inclusive meals and drinks… And you’ll be surrounded by luxury. And great views! Let us know if you’re interested. We will set you up big time. 

08/26/2026

Showing you the lovely Aerie Loft where we hold our Signature Intensive Retreats!

Do you want more information? Reach out to us at realconnectionscounseling.com. 

08/24/2026

How many times can you promise each other, “Next time will be different,” before one … or both of you stops believing it?

Most couples reach us after they have become experts in the argument. They know the hooks, the jabs, the nuclear option … and they know too well how both people will feel afterward.

After enough conversations end the same way, one of you starts believing, “You don’t care about me,” while the other starts believing, “Nothing I do will ever be enough for you.” Eventually, both of you are asking the same frightening question, even if neither of you says it out loud: Are we ever going to get better, or is this simply who we are now? Even worse … the big “D”.

Monique and I come to a couple as a couple because God put CoTherapy on our hearts as an act of obedience to the way He created people. God made us to belong to one another, and marriage work this consequential should honor that from the beginning. We come as part of their body, with our different perspectives working together for the health of the whole, and we stay connected while attending to two people whose experiences may feel impossibly far apart. The couple learns relationship with another couple, while two trained therapists work as one on behalf of both people and the life they are trying to build together. CoTherapy … your team is the oxygen of Real Connections because unity belongs to the created human experience, and we intend to exemplify that to our best ability. Every couple who comes to us deserves a team committed to helping them find it again.

Only One couple can come. Will that be you?

Fight for the relationship you vowed to protect. We’ll do the same, for you as we do our own marriage, and have for more than three decades of shared life.

October 21–23, the Aerie Loft in Winterset will belong entirely new experience. Tailored to one couple. The Intimacy Reimagined Signature Intensive includes 8–10 hours of focused couples work across three days, two nights of lodging, meals, meaningful rest between sessions, and enough uninterrupted time to reach the relationship beneath the argument.

Could October 21–23 become the point at which the same conversation finally leads somewhere different? We believe in you.

Learn more and request a conversation:

https://realconnectionscounseling.com/couples-counseling/ -intensives

08/24/2026

How many times can you promise each other, “Next time will be different,” before one … or both of you stops believing it?

Most couples reach us after they have become experts in the argument. 407 practice sessions, and they’re experts at martial war. They know who will push, who will pull away, which sentence will change the conversation. They know the hooks, the jabs, the nuclear option … and they know too well how both people will feel afterward.

After enough conversations end the same way, one of you starts believing, “You don’t care about me,” while the other starts believing, “Nothing I do will ever be enough for you.” Eventually, both of you are asking the same frightening question, even if neither of you says it out loud: Are we ever going to get better, or is this simply who we are now? Even worse … the big “D”.

Monique and I come to a couple as a couple because God put CoTherapy on our hearts as an act of obedience to the way He created people. God made us to belong to one another, and marriage work this consequential should honor that from the beginning. We come as part of their body, with our different perspectives working together for the health of the whole, and we stay connected while attending to two people whose experiences may feel impossibly far apart. The couple learns relationship with another couple, while two trained therapists work as one on behalf of both people and the life they are trying to build together. CoTherapy … your team is the oxygen of Real Connections because unity belongs to the created human experience, and we intend to exemplify that to our best ability. Every couple who comes to us deserves a team committed to helping them find it again.

Only One couple can come. Will that be you?

Fight for the relationship you vowed to protect. We’ll do the same, for you as we do our own marriage, and have for more than three decades of shared life.

October 21–23, the Aerie Loft in Winterset will belong entirely new experience. Tailored to one couple. The Intimacy Reimagined Signature Intensive includes 8–10 hours of focused couples work across three days, two nights of lodging, meals, meaningful rest between sessions, and enough uninterrupted time to reach the relationship beneath the argument.

Could October 21–23 become the point at which the same conversation finally leads somewhere different? We believe in you.

Learn more and request a conversation:

https://realconnectionscounseling.com/couples-counseling/ -intensives