11/27/2021
I have heard doulas say that they only attend home births because of the violence and disrespect they witnessed in the hospital.
And I completely got it.
But reading this… wow, 100% true.
ETA: I turned off the comments because I cannot be tied to my phone moderating.
For those angered by this post, I encourage you to read the post again and take a moment to reflect.
Think about what they are saying.
The point they are making.
Yes, the language is strong, but the point is true. “That means it’s BIPOC witnessing the mistreatment of bodies that look like ours.”
That is a sucker punch of truth!
I had a real lightbulb moment reading this post.
I shared it because it pivoted my perspective.
I shared it because I once heard people say “I only attend home births” and I 💯 agreed with their reasons which others expressed here.
But this post opened my mind to a whole new perspective. There is a lot for me to learn - for us all to learn - if we allow ourselves to be curious.
Yes, hospital birth can be brutal. Especially for BIPOC.
And if doulas with the privilege of leaving that environment (who are likely mostly or entirely white) do so, who are left to witness that brutality? BIPOC doulas.
Think about them reading the angry comments in your heart. As you express that hospital birth is too hard for you?
I felt this post had meaning and value. It represents the opportunity for growth. My hope is that it will be received as such. A tiny pivot in your perspective which will hopefully be one of many as we work together to increase VBAC access for all.
Posted • Oh you’re a doula that only takes home births? 😏
For your mental health?
😒😏
Self-care, right?
🤡
I’ve said this at many meetings and conversations: this is the equivalent of jerking off or rubbing one out for a doula. The MOST privileged, indulgent, masturbatory way to be a doula.
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Because guess what? All the s**t you don’t want to see or “deal with” at a hospital birth…CONTINUES to happen. With or without you.
All the violence, disrespect and coercion you are ignoring continues to grow.
It continues to directly and PRIMARILY affect Black, Brown, Indigenous and people of the global majority.
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And you know what really sucks?
In my experience (correct me if this is not the case in your local area pls) it’s mostly BIPOC who are showing up for BIPOC pregnant people who mostly birth in the hospital.
Since it’s usually for “free” 😒
And home birth is now a luxury.
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This means it’s BIPOC witnessing the mistreatment of bodies that look like ours.
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There is a special kind of pain and trauma that comes with that responsibility.
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Maybe I should just stick to home births….nah! I’m not white 😏
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