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Andrea Kinnaugh, LMFT

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Wake Forest, NC
Andrea Kinnaugh, LMFT

Individual, couples, and relational therapist here for all your messy, humaness All sessions are telehealth at this time

06/03/2026

We all are a collection of experiences + relationships and when we start a new relationship we bring those with us... including those unresolved hurts and let downs from our past.

We may have very real reasons as to why we struggle to trust but did our current person do something untrustworthy?

We may have proof that some people don't change but has this person shown you they won't / can't?

We may have been ignored, mocked, or left feeling unseen when we asked for what we needed. So how come we are assuming they will do the same?

Our individual work is just as important to our relationships as our relational work. Whether it shows up as assumptions, fawning, defensiveness, or just not allowing for closeness, what I see in sessions is the past getting in the way of the present. Does this resonate with you?

05/27/2026

Happy May! So somewhere in one of these posts, I'm sure I shared when I was a kid that I LOVED the musical Annie. Recently, I went to see Oh, Mary and while waiting for the play to start the disco, Ethel Merman version of "Tomorrow" came on. So obviously I started lip singing and bopping along in my seat... and then I looked around... and so many people were doing exactly the same thing! There's something so joyful to be in community and the arts never seem to let me down when I need to be reminded. I hope this month you too felt the sense of community when you needed it.

As for this month's playlist, they're very dancy while also being chill - good for making a meal or life admin that needs dance breaks. Oh and there's always a tune worthy of sending to a crush.

Glimmers!
Siren-esque pottery the seems to seduce my plants to grow, the coolest + functional soap dish, George Michael inspired scent that wears deliciously light on these warmer days, one of my favorite vintage vases from my wedding holding the same kind of flowers that I had at my wedding (14 years ago!), & rice cakes because I truly enjoy them & all the toppings they hold.

As always, I hope this month you had moments of fun + ease

05/13/2026

We all lean towards what is familiar, not necessarily what is good for us. Our inner voice can echo that same pattern. Even with our best intentions, self awareness, and growth we tend to be our harshest critic.

Sometimes our most safe, intimate relationships can highlight what we do to feel seen, safe, and cared for ... and it can also highlight how we may do those things in an unhealthy way... and we may even get the ick when someone does them in a healthy way. Oof!

So where do we start? We start with ourselves - how can you start being less critical towards you?

05/07/2026

A big part of my practice being relationship focused is working with individuals on understanding who they are so they can understand their reactions:

Why they want what they want.

How it feels good.

What makes their font, flair, & flavor them.

Once we know more of who we are it becomes uncomfortable to be anything but ourselves. For those that want the real version of the you, this is exactly what they're looking for.

Does that mean that being in alignment is easier on our relationships? Respectfully, f×ck no. Lol. Humans are complicated & messy even when they are being real. But the trust and intimacy that is being created is a true flex.

04/30/2026

Different versions of us craved Different things. When we learn to integrate all of our
stories + scars we also have to apply that integration to our relationships.

We may have craved what was familiar. What allowed us to chase, to prove, or to hide.

We may have craved what we never had. What allowed us to be needed, desired, or to be
out of / completely in control.

So what happens when we no longer let our hurt drive our connections and we crave something different from our relationships?

Well, there are choices. One could do the oh so tricky thing and see if these relationships can evolve with us or stay in relational patterns that no longer serve us but are familiar - or we can choose to honor what it was and learn to let go.

04/22/2026

Happy April! I wouldn't be a therapist online if I didn't know that there has been A LOT of chatter about therapists online, recently. I think the rule book is changing for both online & in the therapy room - therapists are moving away from the blank slate we were told to be and acknowledging the importance of our self congruency in the therapy room and on these platforms.

My monthly glimmers + playlists was a way for me to bridge that congruency. These are truly items in my life and songs that I'm listening to that bring me joy. Connecting over music and treasures is so human to me but without being intrusive. Since this platform is for my therapy practice, I see it as my ethical responsibility that you know something about me as a human and it is also my ethical responsibility to limit that information. There are no exact rules but my guiding star is if I wouldn't share it with a client, I wouldn't post it on this page.

As for the music, it's giving breezy, open all the windows, and let all the air bring movement to the stagnant nooks of your emotions and corners of your home.

the glimmers
A t-shirt that I get the most compliments on from one of the most fun events, the most grounding wooden candlesticks, hiking / roadtrip adventure inspiration cards, beautiful hoops when I want to feel fancy, olives are the perfect snack, and a perfect glass that holds the perfect martini.

I hope April has been kind to you ✨️

04/15/2026

Confidence is just some smoke and mirrors bravado in comparison to Competence.

While being competent at a task / job can be hot all on its own, competencey in relationships is next level. Showing up in your relationship because you want them, value them, and have taken time to understand them is peak emotional IQ.

So much of my job as a relational therapist is moving people from checking boxes or attempting to balance a ledger, to wanting to fully show up in their relationship because they're choosing their relationship. When someone sees themselves as competent in their relationship, they don't need constant reassurance that are doing a good job because they know what their relationship feels and looks like when they are.

Building trust, accountability, clear communication, and being responsible are not just team building skills, gorgeous reader. But just something to keep in mind, we all the know the difference between the person who likes what they do and the person who's just checking the boxes.

04/08/2026

The tricky thing about language is that we judge words and the word "conditional" has a vibe. How can we love someone and have conditions? We're taught it's selfish or not real love. That real love is loving someone no matter what.

No matter what?

Real love is active. Actively choosing someone. Actively choosing ourselves to be the someone the people in our lives deserve. Actively repairing and owning our mistakes. This is not about perfection - because no one is perfect. It's knowing that we play an active and not passive role in our relationships.

Bell Hooks describes true love as a conscious choice and action that is rooted in respect, care, responsibility, and justice. What I often see in sessions is someone asking to be loved fully BUT they do not show respect, care, or responsibility towards their person and are unable to see the injustice of their behavior.

So whether it is friendly or romantic, how are you treating the love you are given? Are you actively choosing your relationships or are you expecting them to be there no matter what?

04/02/2026

How someone treats you is all the proof you need. I completely get finding people's behaviors fascinating - it's literally my job. But have you considered that being fascinated by why they do what they do has you stuck trying to solve the why instead of feeling the oof?

Relationships are not supposed to be torturous riddles. It is supposed to be fun getting to know someone and exciting to let them get to know you. So here's a not so gentle nudge to stop being fascinated by their behavior and become fascinated by your ability to discern if this is what you want.

03/25/2026

I've always loved the saying that March can either come in like a lion or a lamb and that it will go out as the one it didn't come in as. These old adages were meant to create comfort and hope when life, just like the weather, is always changing and very hard to predict.

This time last year, I had no idea if it was the right time to start my own practice. I was unexpectedly grieving while throwing myself into all the newness of owning a business. Nothing about the timing seemed perfect. It was messy. I made mistakes. But there was a surprising amount of amazing moments and ease. Maybe the reminder is there always seems be a little bit of lion and a little bit of lamb.

This month's playlist is all the spring vibes of letting go of cuffing season and leaning into all the new. Whether that's new status, new people, or you just refreshing you.

This month's glimmers...

*A bright green cutting board that can handle all the chopping and looks cute on the counter

*I love the perfect slicing on a mandoline but I also love my fingers which is why I have this glove.

*That is not trail mix - that is bird seed. I'm not ready to get another pup but I love the routine of taking care of an animal. So now I feed the birds.

*Maybe it's because I'm a Pisces or because I love fishsticks but I needed these candles.

*I'm always on the hunt for the best Earl Grey tea. These are my favorite right now. If you have a recommendation, let me know.

*This lotion spray is great for the skin and keeps me smelling lovely. Ifykyk

*I have a love for gummy candy and these are a new favorite. Assorted sour, sweet, and different textures! Not to mention, all the spring vibes.

I hope March has been sweet to you ✨️

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