Dr. Z.

Dr. Z. online class: courses.thisisdoctorz.com
personal website: www.thisisdoctorz.com

Your brain is always doing its job to make sure you don’t get hurt, you don’t struggle.So, when having obsessions, your ...
09/09/2026

Your brain is always doing its job to make sure you don’t get hurt, you don’t struggle.

So, when having obsessions, your brain quickly perceives a threat - a fake threat - and demands that you play-it-safe.

It's important to remember that thoughts are just thoughts; a chain of letters, images, words put together.

Our brains are limitless when coming up with all types of content, including obsessions, that doesn't mean we have to listen every time.

Learn more at thisisdoctorz.com

One of the most common playing-it-safe moves I see? Waiting to act until certainty shows up first.Right?But certainty do...
09/08/2026

One of the most common playing-it-safe moves I see? Waiting to act until certainty shows up first.

Right?

But certainty doesn't come before the action. It comes, sometimes, after it. And sometimes not even then.

Here is how this loop works: anxiety says, "I need to know this is the right choice before I move."

You search for reassurance, googling, asking, replaying. The searching feels like progress. But, it's a playing-it-safe move. And it keeps you exactly where you are.

I want to invite you to try something different this week.

Make one decision, even a small one, without waiting to feel sure. Notice what it costs you. Notice what it gives you.

Psychological flexibility doesn't require certainty. It just requires one small step in the direction of what matters.

What would you do if you didn't need to be sure first?

📖 My book Acceptance and Commitment Skills for Perfectionism and High-Achieving Behaviors goes deep on exactly this: thisisdoctorz.com/act-for-perfectionism-and-high-achieving-behaviors

Treating a thought as the truth is a playing-it-safe move because acting on it feels safer than sitting with the doubt. ...
09/07/2026

Treating a thought as the truth is a playing-it-safe move because acting on it feels safer than sitting with the doubt.

Which thought took up more of your day than it earned?

One playing-it-safe move and one ACT skill in your inbox weekly. Subscribe to the Playing-it-safe newsletter now: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-newsletter/

Our minds are there to protect us, but often they tell us to stop something out of fear or avoidance rather than logic.T...
09/07/2026

Our minds are there to protect us, but often they tell us to stop something out of fear or avoidance rather than logic.

There is real science behind why our mind’s reasons for waiting sound so completely rational in the moment but here's the truth: our minds are more like advisory boards, we can take on board the warnings and worries, but we don't need to always listen to them.

Say thanks to your mind and work out what's best for you by asking this question: If I do exactly what my mind is telling me right now, will I be building the life I want?

Listen to this Playing-It-Safe episode now!

EP97. Your Mind is Lying to You About Why You Can't Start: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/your-mind-is-lying-to-you-about-why-you-cant-start/

09/06/2026

The ready position is a real thing in tennis. Knees soft, weight forward, racket up, prepared to move in any direction the ball comes from.

It's an important position. It's also, technically, still waiting.

What I see in people who are postponing and delaying is a very sophisticated version of this: everything in place, the preparation genuinely done, and yet, still in the stance that precedes the actual move rather than in the middle of making it; e.g. the resume is polished but not sent; the business plan is detailed but not launched; the conversation is rehearsed but not had.

The mind offers the preparation phase as necessary, and sometimes it is.

But at a certain point, staying in the ready position stops being preparation and starts being a way of never having to actually play a point.

Because a point can be lost. The preparation phase can't.

The ball is going to come regardless of whether you feel ready.

What have you been in ready position for, waiting on a feeling of readiness that hasn't shown up yet?

🔗 You can subscribe to my Playing-it-safe newsletter: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-newsletter/

Reaching for a screen the moment you lose the ability to manage a situation is a playing-it-safe move worth noticing.It'...
09/05/2026

Reaching for a screen the moment you lose the ability to manage a situation is a playing-it-safe move worth noticing.

It's often less about needing information and more about needing distraction to avoid feeling uncomfortable.

Ask yourself the workability question: would checking a screen actually be consistent with my values right now or would it just relieve the discomfort of the moment?

There was no cell signal on this boat. Eventually, there was nothing left to check and just the water to sit with instead.

What would you do with an afternoon without checking your screen?

Subscribe to the playing-it-safe newsletter: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-newsletter/

Our minds often have a highly convincing list of reasons why right now isn’t the right time.When we choose to always lis...
09/05/2026

Our minds often have a highly convincing list of reasons why right now isn’t the right time.

When we choose to always listen to those reasons we may be unwillingly playing into a procrastination pattern (and that is a playing-it-safe move we don't want to encourage!).

Our capacity to be in contact with uncomfortable thoughts, feelings and sensations WITHOUT letting them dictate our actions is a skill we can practice - also called psychological flexibility.

Learn more about it on my podcast episode: Your mind is lying to you about why you can't start.

https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-podcast/

09/03/2026

Every playing-it-safe behavior I talk about on this show is, at its core, a strategy to avoid an uncomfortable internal experience.

The overthinking is avoiding the discomfort of uncertainty. The reassurance-seeking is avoiding the dread of not knowing. The perfectionism is avoiding the anxiety of being evaluated. The people-pleasing is avoiding the fear of disapproval.

This isn't a character flaw, but a loop. A very human, very intelligent loop that works perfectly in the short term and keeps you stuck in the long run.

In ACT, we call the antidote willingness. Not forcing yourself to feel good. Making room, opening the hand instead of clenching the fist, and moving toward what matters anyway.

What is one thing you could do today, with the discomfort present, toward the life you actually want to live?

🎙️ Listen here:
Apple: https://apple.co/2ZJH7GE
Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/1Y2uDdDAdNZDHZS6DiCcZR

Here is what I want you to notice.The exhaustion you're feeling right now? It's not a sign you're weak or that something...
09/01/2026

Here is what I want you to notice.

The exhaustion you're feeling right now? It's not a sign you're weak or that something is wrong with you. It's a sign you've been working overtime to manage fear.

Playing-it-safe behaviors such as over-preparing, checking, avoiding, ruminating, are not lazy. They're incredibly hard work, and they're draining you.

The Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) alternative isn't to stop feeling exhausted. It's to redirect that energy toward what actually matters to you.

What would you do with that energy if you weren't using it to play-it-safe?

🎙️ Listen to the Playing It Safe podcast now!

Apple: https://apple.co/2ZJH7GE
Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/1Y2uDdDAdNZDHZS6DiCcZR

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